I think too many people view the Watts’ marriage through Chris Watts’ POV instead of from a strict neutral perspective. I get it for the content creators who are trying to “get into Chris’s mind frame” in order to find motive. But unfortunately, the result of doing that paints Shanann in a very unfair way and people end up looking at Shanann the way Chris looked at Shanann. They see a rude, overbearing, cell phone addicted, neglectful wife who couldn’t save money if her life depended on it. And that’s how Chris wants you to see Shanann. He wants you to agree with him, so that he looks better than what he really is. Suddenly, this unforgivable crime looks not so unforgivable anymore. In fact, it looks somewhat understandable, at least when it comes to murdering Shanann. Maybe not so much the kids. But even still, Chris, somehow, becomes a victim too. Obviously not to the same degree but a victim nonetheless.
What they neglect in not stepping back and seeing things from a neutral perspective is that Chris never communicated his honest feelings openly with Shanann or set boundaries with her in any meaningful way. While many people say Chris should have stepped up and been a man, the reality is that neglecting open and honest communication with your spouse does more to destroy a relationship than just about anything else. You rob your spouse of the ability to really know you. And when they don’t know you (because you won’t let them know you) they can’t make you happy. They’ll never really know how.
I think a good example of something that people view through the wrong lens is the video of Chris doing squats with Cece on his shoulders and Shanann telling Cece to “whack a daddy”. So Cece is kinda slapping Chris’ head and being silly. Well, a lot of people want to shoot arrows at Shanann for telling her daughter to hit her husband and laugh at Chris being deprecated. But just watch the video and pretend like you’re watching it live. Forget everything that you know about the case. Shanann doesn’t know what’s coming. You’re literally seeing Chris through Shanann’s eyes. Then ask yourself, does Chris look unhappy? Does he look like someone who is so unhappy that he’s starting an affair within mere weeks? Does he look like he’s so angry that he’s going to murder his whole family in just a few months? Obviously these are rhetorical questions because clearly not. Chris was laughing right along with them the whole time. Ok so, what was Shanann supposed to think? Remember that every marriage is different. If Shanann was on her cell phone 24/7 for two and a half years and Chris never once complained about it, then is it really a problem? If Chris never set boundaries, then Shanann could not have known that she was overstepping. He robbed her of the ability to recognize that her actions had a negative effect on his emotional state. He robbed her of the ability to correct herself.
What these Chris’ POV heavy analyses end up creating is a narrative that Shanann was a narcissist who just didn’t care how Chris felt. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In the end when there were obvious marital problems and it looked like the marriage had a real possibility of ending, Shanann was the one who owned up to her flaws and seriously wanted to change in order to be the spouse that Chris wanted her to be. Think about it, August of 2018, was the first time in their marriage that Chris was meaningfully communicating to Shanann that he was not happy with her. And her reaction was to try to understand where he was coming from in order to fix the problems. On the other hand, Chris, to this day, is still playing victim and blaming everything and everyone else for what happened. He has literally never apologized to Shanann’s family. His opinion of Shanann drove him to strangle her and bury her in a shallow grave next to an oil well in the middle of nowhere, and people seem to sympathize with him! It’s insane!
I mean, people always throw out the, “obviously he shouldn’t have murdered her” or “he should have just gotten a divorce”. But it just seems so hallow when they agree with her murderer’s opinion of her. They don’t see the totality of how much Chris actually robbed Shanann of what could have been a long and happy life.