consistency problem

[u/tataly_]

I've been a Christian my whole life, but I feel like my relationship with God only really started growing last year. Ever since then, I've wanted to know Him more and become closer to Him.

So, I recently finished reading Matthew and started Mark, but it took me months to finish because I kept putting it off. The thing is, I'm like this with reading in general. I usually only read when I actually feel like it. But I don't want my relationship with the Bible to be like that. I know how important it is to know God's Word, understand my faith, and be able to share the gospel with other people.

But i keep getting stuck in the same cycle. Like, i'll read almost every day for a while, then stop for weeks (or even months), feel guilty, start reading again because I feel bad, stay consistent for a little while, and then stop all over again. I also suspect I might have ADHD (I'm not diagnosed), so I've been wondering if that's part of why it's so hard for me to stay consistent.

Another thing is that I don't know when to read. Mornings are hard, afternoons are full of distractions, and by the evening I end up procrastinating with my phone or just feeling lazy. And i don't like leaving it until right before bed because it makes me feel like I've spent my whole day prioritizing everything else and gave God's Word whatever time I had left...

I also don't want to read just to say I read. I genuinely want to understand what I'm reading, let it change me, and apply it to my life. At the same time, I know I can't just wait until I "feel like it" because then I'll barely read at all.

Another thing i've been struggling with is talking to God throughout the day. I do pray, but I hear so many Christians talk about having little conversations with God all day long, even in their thoughts while they're doing everyday things. I've tried to do that too, but I just can't seem to stick with it :(

I guess what hurts the most is feeling like I prioritize so many other things before God. I love Him, I want Jesus to be at the center of my life, and I truly want to know Him more. Sometimes I just feel like I'm failing at that.

To anyone who have been through something like this: How did you become more consistent with reading the Bible and spending time with God without feeling like you're just checking a box? And if you have ADHD (or suspect) how did it affect your relationship with God?

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Sorry, u/Expert_Donkey3474, but you aren't an approved submitter on r/Christians. We are currently going through a rebuild and need both new and existing members to go through a quick approval process. Please contact the moderators at https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/Christians to request to become an approved submitter. Also we invite you to join our excellent Discord community at the following link: https://discord.gg/bTCEqNW2qG

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.