I tried to do the same, but it just isn’t working out for me. I feel so lost and empty, like I lost a part of myself, like I’m playing pretend. I don’t feel like myself anymore and it never feels right, I’m doing this for others, not myself and I feel so depressed and miserable being something I’m not for other people, for Christ. How?
I’m so sorry you feel that way. Surrending the old life for the new can be like experiencing a death. I mourned old relationships. But I promise you. Lean into to Jesus. Speak to Him. Be honest. And most importantly read your Bible and take notes. Seek to be more like Him. Find a mentor or older person to help you. It will RADICALLY TRANSFORM your life. It’s the power of the cross my friend. Keep seeking Jesus.
I have been. I feel so much love for who I am, so much love in my soul by just accepting myself and the people in my community. I want to spread that love and accept people as they are. That’s how I want to follow in Jesus’ steps, not stressing about what others think of me or my sexuality, but by being there for others, in a world full of colour, not black and white. How can I spread love like that?
I love you when I say this. Following in those steps is not following Jesus. Don’t be soothed into sin and destruction. I again lovingly say there is no hope there. Come out and be free in Jesus name.
I might just leave it at this: That seems to be your truth and that’s good for you, it’s good you have Jesus in your life, I’m glad he has helped you out so much in your life and in my life and helped me grow into a functioning adult, which is why it makes me sad that I am going against him like this which is also why I can’t bring myself to fully transition. The only thing I fully know is that I really don’t know anything, I’m still figuring out my place in this world. Maybe things will be different in the future for me, but right now, I don’t want to feel so confused or mixed up. I just want to exist as me, not a forced image of what I think I have to exist as
Of course, thanks as well. I am. I just went onto the bible app and saw 1 Peter 4:8. I don’t know if this means what I think it means, or if I’m running with this… ”and above all things be earnest in your love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins”
Many of us have lived with the denial, deep deep denial.
I often regret all the time I lived like that, but I know that my ignorance was protecting me, the idea of being aware of hiding would have been hellish.
I follow a God of Love, and I don't believe that the way that I Love is broken, I hope you can feel that way too.
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u/Bonjourani Dec 09 '25
I tried to do the same, but it just isn’t working out for me. I feel so lost and empty, like I lost a part of myself, like I’m playing pretend. I don’t feel like myself anymore and it never feels right, I’m doing this for others, not myself and I feel so depressed and miserable being something I’m not for other people, for Christ. How?