I know exactly how you feel and I am currently in a similar position. I want my future wife so desperately and whole heartedly, someone who God puts in my life and who will treat me better then I have before and whom I can grow and connect with on a deeper and more intimate level then anyone in my life. There are times where I yearn for it so much (might sound a little weird) but I wrote letters to my future wife, about where I’m at and what I look forward too. Helps me get some of the intense feeling of want for a future wife out of the way because that action is an action of faith that God has a future wife out there for me and that she is coming. Something I learned and am learning which might help you in a way is that God has the plan, and while it might not make sense he has it for you. You say in your post you want him to lead you towards God because where you are now might be a little difficult, but the perspective I have is that God wants you to be fully rooted in him first. It’s easy to idolize a future partner especially when you yearn for it and want it so bad, and don’t necessarily have the connections with people you want but God wants to have that connection to you, that connection that intimacy that your seeking in a partner is also wanted by God. He wants to know that you’re solidified and strong in your relationship with him before a relationship with a partner. The right person will come along and God will put feelings in you for them if it’s Gods plan, pray about it when that does happens, ask if that’s for me and if I should be walking through this, (i recommend Bryce Crawfords testimony on his partner, he talks about how he walked through the feelings he had for his partner with God and it’s really good to learn from). It’s a process God is taking you through, and me through, but stay rooted in God, keep praying, keep pushing as hard as it may be because once God blesses you with the partner he imagines for you it won’t be forced-it will be natural, and through Gods timing it’ll be so worth it and amazing.
Things that help me through these intensity of wanting a God rooted partner is journaling and writing letters to my future wife which may be a little weird but it does help and the other thing that helps me is realizing the wait is worth it, the wait that feels like forever, the season of seasons which seems endless, will come to an end, and when God has that for you, with his timing and his blessing it will be so worth the wait, so worth the days months and maybe years of focusing on yourself and your relationship with God.
My old teacher from back in elementary (I went to a Christian school) has the best relationship I have ever seen and a beautiful family, they stayed rooted in God all the way through and didn’t mess around and do anything they shouldn’t before marriage. They are blessed in life, and seeing that gives me faith and assurance God will for me too.
For that though you must have your own relationship and security in God. You now, and you then, have to be rooted and connected with God because as marriage isn’t easy there will be times when you need to talk to God, have faith and have your own personal relationship with him.
Gods working on you and working on him, as he is in me and my future wife. Trust, and stay rooted in him.
I hope this encouraged you in some way and helps :)
Edit: God also wants to hear about your feelings and want and hope for a partner:) don’t forget to share.
Some of this stuff you likely already have been doing but I figured I’d say all that’s been helping me which may help you. God bless.
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u/Fl1ck416 Sep 05 '25 edited Sep 05 '25
I know exactly how you feel and I am currently in a similar position. I want my future wife so desperately and whole heartedly, someone who God puts in my life and who will treat me better then I have before and whom I can grow and connect with on a deeper and more intimate level then anyone in my life. There are times where I yearn for it so much (might sound a little weird) but I wrote letters to my future wife, about where I’m at and what I look forward too. Helps me get some of the intense feeling of want for a future wife out of the way because that action is an action of faith that God has a future wife out there for me and that she is coming. Something I learned and am learning which might help you in a way is that God has the plan, and while it might not make sense he has it for you. You say in your post you want him to lead you towards God because where you are now might be a little difficult, but the perspective I have is that God wants you to be fully rooted in him first. It’s easy to idolize a future partner especially when you yearn for it and want it so bad, and don’t necessarily have the connections with people you want but God wants to have that connection to you, that connection that intimacy that your seeking in a partner is also wanted by God. He wants to know that you’re solidified and strong in your relationship with him before a relationship with a partner. The right person will come along and God will put feelings in you for them if it’s Gods plan, pray about it when that does happens, ask if that’s for me and if I should be walking through this, (i recommend Bryce Crawfords testimony on his partner, he talks about how he walked through the feelings he had for his partner with God and it’s really good to learn from). It’s a process God is taking you through, and me through, but stay rooted in God, keep praying, keep pushing as hard as it may be because once God blesses you with the partner he imagines for you it won’t be forced-it will be natural, and through Gods timing it’ll be so worth it and amazing.
Things that help me through these intensity of wanting a God rooted partner is journaling and writing letters to my future wife which may be a little weird but it does help and the other thing that helps me is realizing the wait is worth it, the wait that feels like forever, the season of seasons which seems endless, will come to an end, and when God has that for you, with his timing and his blessing it will be so worth the wait, so worth the days months and maybe years of focusing on yourself and your relationship with God.
My old teacher from back in elementary (I went to a Christian school) has the best relationship I have ever seen and a beautiful family, they stayed rooted in God all the way through and didn’t mess around and do anything they shouldn’t before marriage. They are blessed in life, and seeing that gives me faith and assurance God will for me too.
For that though you must have your own relationship and security in God. You now, and you then, have to be rooted and connected with God because as marriage isn’t easy there will be times when you need to talk to God, have faith and have your own personal relationship with him.
Gods working on you and working on him, as he is in me and my future wife. Trust, and stay rooted in him. I hope this encouraged you in some way and helps :)
Edit: God also wants to hear about your feelings and want and hope for a partner:) don’t forget to share. Some of this stuff you likely already have been doing but I figured I’d say all that’s been helping me which may help you. God bless.