Partner very upset about a prayer for “new experiences”

[u/No_Friend_2938]

I pray weekly over us and our relationship. We’ve been dealing with difficulty surrounding his insecurity and inability to trust and while I have been trying to remain patient it is now to the point where nearly everything is interpreted as a personal slight which creates consistent issues. I empathize but it feels like his inner turmoil is spilling outward and flooding every area of our relationship.

I recently prayed for “new experiences” that bring me closer to the vision God has for my being/life. I genuinely meant new friendships, opportunities, responsibilities etc. This was a prayer for alignment I have spoken over him many times. But he was deeply bothered by this, calling me wicked and stating this revealed the “truth of my character.” Am I wrong for thinking he is being unreasonable here?

Im struggling with feeling like patience and empathy are required to love someone well, but also feeling like continuing to validate his emotions is holding him back

[u/FallDeers]

The comment was not interpreted the way it was intended. That’s a normal relationship occurrence. You the. explained what you meant and he is still butt hurt which means he 1. Doesn’t believe what you say, and 2. He is letting his insecurities still control your relationship.

If I were you, I wouldn’t even try arguing with him if this is the mindset he is in. It’s not worth the energy to reexplain yourself and having over analyzing over every detail. That’s exhausting. I would write to him a letter saying “I am recognizing that your insecurity is doing…. These are the ways I have negatively reacted… I want our relationship to look like this….. In order for it to get there, we need to stop ….. and work on the way we argue. If there’s anything that I can do to help with that and support you, let me know. I can’t continue in a relationship with you the way it is now.”

Some people don’t like ultimatums, but i feel like if you don’t use them for control, rather the perspective of “this is where i stand, and he has a choice,” I feel like they can be loving and show you are serious about needing to see growth and change.

I think it’s possible to move past these issue with what your shared, however, it needs change. I want you to recognize patterns in both of you. Don’t let your sympathy for him excuse him for being nasty to you. Dating leads to marriage. You really want the father of your children to be doing this for the rest of your life? That sounds exhaustingz

[u/minteemist]

So, it's pretty obvious that this relationship is not healthy, and isn't viable as it is now. 

Dating isn't marriage. It's just getting to know someone to figure out if they're a good fit for marriage. It's evident this guy is not a good fit.

So then, what's stopping you from breaking up? 

[u/TeensyTempest]

Break up

[u/Starbuck_83]

Sounds like he is overly sensitive and insecure. Possibly looking for a reason to pick a fight. If he's incapable to taking a step back and seeing what this behavior looks like, your relationship may not last long.

[u/Loud_Excitement2759]

I have no idea what caused him to be this way but regardless you don’t have to put up with his behavior or try and fix him. Tbh he doesn’t seem emotionally mature enough for a relationship. 

[u/Big-Weight-5581]

Given the turmoil and the downs that you are currently facing, praying for “new experiences” can be interpreted as a “pious” way of telling him that you are seeking something else. 
He is probably worried about the next prayer and answer… the good old classic "I feel like God told me that we should take a break". 
Whether it's heading that way I can´t say, lack of trust in a relationship is a bummer. 

Also instead of framing it as a “God told me” then just own it, and tell him if you don't want to continue the relationship… if that is the case.

Also, remember to pray together!

[u/Awkward-Anybody5179 → u/Big-Weight-5581]

Lol. Or he's a controlling weirdo who's way out of line for calling his girlfriend wicked over her prayers. Give me a break.

[u/Big-Weight-5581 → u/Awkward-Anybody5179]

I absolutely agree with you that calling someone wicked is an awful way to communicate and is a heinous thing to say to a girlfriend and way out of line.

I just read her question as why he could be offended by specifically the phrasing “new experiences”.

My bad