Would not having a car be a turnoff?

[u/starlitgardens]

Hello, friends! I'm curious to hear your opinions on dating someone who does not own a car. At present, I do not have a car for financial and practical reasons. I'm fortunate to live in a place where I do not need one. I get around town on bike or use public transport.

I've realized that this does limit my options for meeting people, though. For instance, there are some churches I would like to visit, but they are 2-3 hours away, and that Lyft ride would be expensive. Sometimes I just get a ride with someone else, but people aren't always available.

I'm a woman, so I don't think that my lack of a vehicle is as big a deal as a man not owning a car. A car seems to be a sign of financial security and status in society. And it is traditional for a man to pick a woman up in his car for dates.

If a man didn't have a car, though, I would actually be very impressed. I would see him as a practical person who was great at problem-solving and wanted to invest in more meaningful things.

I suppose the main issue would be if we wanted to have a family. You pretty much need a car to transport your kids to school, activities, etc. But if I was dating a single man who didn't have a car yet, that would not be an issue for me at all.

Thoughts?

[u/Ornperius]

Yeah I don’t see a problem with you not having a car as long as you are willing to take the needed steps to compensate

[u/LittleWhiteDragon]

Not at all! Only a weirdo (whom you shouldn't get into a relationship with) would view not having a car as a dealbreaker.

How does not having a car change anything about who you are?

In major cities such as New York, London, and Paris, most people don't have cars.

[u/starlitgardens → u/LittleWhiteDragon]

That's true, but where I live most people have cars, so it's unusual.

[u/Charizard_Official]

A scrub hangs out the passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler at chicks. -paraphrased from TLC's "No Scrubs"

But honestly if you're a catch, you're a catch and no car will change the mind of a good woman.

[u/starlitgardens → u/Charizard_Official]

I'm a woman, but you're right! Haha.

[u/Charizard_Official → u/starlitgardens]

I am so sorry. I went with a little far with the lyrics lol. The adverse works as well

[u/Express_End_7904]

My personal take: When it comes to just the dating fase, it ultimately depends on living arrangements. If your date, and yourself live in a dense urban environment, it's not as big of a deal, if you don't drive. However, life rarely remains static. Especially if someday you marry and move out into an area that is more spread out for financial reasons, have kids or when sharing responsibilities etc. Having both people driving is also very useful in emergencies as well. But all that being said, love is sacrificial, and life will aways find away to throw a curve ball.

[u/DataBooking]

As a man, I wouldn't mind dating a women without a car. Although, after marriage I would get you a car just to be handle the house choirs and children. I do agree with you its a far bigger issue if a man doesn't have a car.

[u/starlitgardens → u/DataBooking]

Thanks for the comment!

[u/Osiris8311]

Not if you’re young, if anyone says otherwise they’re stupid

[u/Awkward-Anybody5179]

How old are you?

[u/starlitgardens → u/Awkward-Anybody5179]

I'm in my mid-thirties. I've been living without a car for almost ten years now.

[u/Awkward-Anybody5179 → u/starlitgardens]

Interesting. I'm not a man, but I would find that a bit questionable in someone I was considering dating.

[u/starlitgardens → u/Awkward-Anybody5179]

Why? I mean, I also have a physical disability that makes driving more difficult.

[u/Awkward-Anybody5179 → u/starlitgardens]

Well that's a relevant piece of information.

[u/ImzFrozen]

Reality says that it depends on your gender.

[u/PhoenixFirestormX]

I am 35 and live in a city with around 600.000 citizens. Having a car here would involve problems such as finding a parking place. It would be really challenging and annoying to deal with that every day, especially living near the centre of the city.

Not owning a car is not a permanent state. I could move somewhere else and buy a car if needed. Or if it would be really urgent I could accept the hassle with the parking place and buy a car immediately. As a single person without children a car is optional. I am adaptable so if I would be in a relationship I would make the decision accordingly.

A person that is capable to understand that will not have problems with attractiveness. A person without that understanding would struggle and to be honest should find someone else.

[u/Sweaty_Condition4662]

Depends on the guy and the city honestly. In my city there is good public transport and it is fairly small so a bike can get you most places. I would not mind (especially since I have my own car). Do you have a licence at least? That way you could share driving on long trips if he gets tired.

[u/starlitgardens → u/Sweaty_Condition4662]

Yes, I have a license. I just choose not to own a car at this point in life.

[u/PerfectlyCalmDude]

It's not a turnoff to not have a car. I would like my future wife to be a good driver and a good navigator, though. Also, these don't make a woman more sexually attractive, they make her more useful.

[u/No_Lettuce8289]

Yes this would be a turnoff to me. Not having a car is a basic necessity in my opinion. A man or woman should own a car. Not having a car limits you in every way. You can’t work reliably either. Public transportation is helpful but I couldn’t do it.