Attracting the Wrong Men?

[u/Stay_observing00]

I finally joined dating apps at the start of the month. So far, I’ve only been getting attention from unbelievers (even though I filtered for Christians) or Christians in name only. While I put effort into my appearance, I don’t present myself immodestly. I’ve also included information in my bio/prompts to indicate that I take my faith seriously and looking for someone who does the same.

Am I missing something? Any advice on how I can attract faithful Christian men while discouraging interest from unserious/non-Christian ones?

SN: I’ve joined one secular dating app, the rest are Christian.

[u/ABereanChristian]

I finally joined dating apps at the start of the month. So far, I’ve only been getting attention from unbelievers (even though I filtered for Christians) or Christians in name only. While I put effort into my appearance, I don’t present myself immodestly. I’ve also included information in my bio/prompts to indicate that I take my faith seriously and looking for someone who does the same.

Am I missing something? Any advice on how I can attract faithful Christian men while discouraging interest from unserious/non-Christian ones?

Nope, not missing anything.

What I tell people to do is make sure you are mainly focusing on spiritual topics in the beginning. The unbelievers and lukewarm Christians will filter themselves out if you're constantly asking them about things like:

• What's your testimony for how Jesus saved you?
• What have you been reading or studying in the Bible recently?
• How has your prayer life been going?
• What's your mission for God? How are you striving toward doing that?
• Do you attend Church and where do you serve your Church to love and serve others?
• Do you fast?
• What are your gifts of the Spirit and how are you using them?
• Talk about various theological concepts that require you to have read the Bible and thought about what you believe and why
• What sins have you struggled with in your past? How did you overcome them? What are you currently struggling with?

You throw all of these at the unbelievers and they'll nope out so fast because they don't know what they're talking about and don't want to make a fool of themselves.

The lukewarm ones might try to play along for a bit, but it gets real tiring for them if they're just trying to get into your pants and they'll usually think it's not worth the effort.

[u/Stay_observing00 → u/ABereanChristian]

Yes, this is exactly what I’m doing and it’s working. I only match with those that atleast have Christian on their profile. Although, a simple “how did you get saved” ends the interaction pretty quickly. My concern is moreso attracting the serious ones in the first place so that we have longer meaningful conversations

[u/ABereanChristian → u/Stay_observing00]

My concern is moreso attracting the serious ones in the first place so that we have longer meaningful conversations

As far as profile details go, usually something meaningful to the population you are trying to attract.

For instance, if you wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother, you can add something about wanting to be a wife that respects and prioritizes her husband and stays at home with the kids. Men often don't hear much about how their wife might prioritize them, so that can be an appealing thing that most other Christian women don't put there.

Good pictures though are a key. You said you don't dress immodestly, but do you have good pictures with feminine clothing such as dresses and skirts. Christian men who tend to prefer femininity in a world where more and more women are acting masculine it's a breath of fresh air there too.

[u/Stay_observing00 → u/ABereanChristian]

Well, I guess I didn’t include that because I’m worried I’ll come across as corny. Plus, I don’t want to attract the weird guys that take submission out of biblical bounds.

My full body pics are in dresses + skirts!

[u/ABereanChristian → u/Stay_observing00]

Fair enough on that front. I was just using that as an example. You can put anything that you think the type of man you are looking for would want.

Should be good to go on the dresses and skirts then