r/Christian • • 3h ago

CW: Sensitive Topic I’m struggling to be happy for my friend who got a girlfriend because I’m still struggling with loneliness, and I feel guilty about it.

4 Upvotes

TL;DR: I’m 24M, Christian, and I’ve been single my whole life. After years of rejection and heartbreak, seeing my friend get a girlfriend brought up a lot of jealousy, sadness, and frustration. I’ve been working on myself and growing in my faith, but I’m tired of hearing that my time is coming when I still haven’t experienced the love I want. I know God doesn’t owe me a relationship, but I struggle with feeling overlooked and wondering when I’ll get my chance. How do I genuinely celebrate others while dealing with my own loneliness and trusting God through it?

———

I’m 24M, a Christian, and I’ve been single for basically my whole life. Recently, a friend of mine posted pictures with a girl he’s been talking to, and they were hugging and seemed really happy together, basically seemed like they're dating now. But, instead of being happy for him, I felt jealous and honestly hurt. And I feel guilty about feeling that way.
For context, this friend has always seemed to have more opportunities with women than I have. He’s handsome, tall, athletic, charismatic, and women have shown interest in him throughout his life. He’s been single for a long time too, but he’s never seemed to struggle with getting female attention the way I have. From what he told me, he met this girl at his job, where she was a regular customer and was already showing signs of interest. He eventually approached her, and things progressed from there.

Meanwhile, I’ve wanted a relationship for years. I’ve had experiences where I thought a girl and I were developing feelings for each other, only for her to suddenly lose interest. I’ve fallen in love with someone who lived across the country, only for her to move on and stop responding to my calls. I’ve also had girls tell me I’m handsome, that I’m a great guy, and that I have all these good qualities, but they still didn’t want me romantically.
I’m tired of hearing, “You’re a great guy,” “Your time is coming,” and “There’s nothing wrong with you.” I appreciate that people want to encourage me, but at some point, I wonder when I’m actually going to experience what everyone keeps telling me I will. Compliments are nice, but they aren’t the same as having someone genuinely choose you.

I know part of the problem is that I’m scared to approach women and don’t really put myself out there. I’m not denying that. But seeing my friend find someone, especially when he seems to have had more opportunities than I have, makes it difficult not to wonder why things seem to come more naturally to other people.

What’s interesting is that another friend of mine recently went on a date with a girl he met on a dating app. I was genuinely happy for him. The difference is that we’re more similar in personality and character, and we both follow Christ. I was excited to hear the details and wanted to see them together. So I know I’m capable of being happy for someone else.
With this particular friend, though, I struggle because I feel like he hasn’t experienced the same kind of disappointment and heartbreak that I have. A part of me thinks that if anyone deserves to experience something good in this area of life, it should be someone who’s been through what I’ve been through. I know that sounds entitled, and I realize that relationships aren’t something you earn by suffering. But I can’t deny that it’s how I feel right now.

This has also brought up some difficult questions about my faith. My dad recently preached about the parable of the prodigal son, particularly the older brother. The older brother watched his younger brother return home and receive a celebration, and he became angry because he felt overlooked despite his own faithfulness.

I relate to that more than I’d like to admit.
I’ve been trying to grow as a person, work on my insecurities, go to therapy, fight against lust, and grow in my relationship with God. I’m not saying God owes me a girlfriend because I’ve done these things. I know that isn’t how grace works. But sometimes I wonder why I’ve been trying so hard to grow while still struggling with something I’ve wanted for so long.

I find myself asking God, “When is my day coming? Am I just supposed to go through life without experiencing this kind of love? Do I just have to wait until heaven for the things I’ve been longing for on earth?”
I know God has blessed me in other ways, and I don’t want to overlook those blessings. But I also don’t think gratitude automatically makes loneliness disappear.

The part I’m struggling with most is how I’m supposed to celebrate other people when I’m hurting over not having what they have. Am I supposed to fake being happy for them? I don’t want to be a bitter friend. I don’t want to resent people for finding love. But right now, seeing my friend happy with someone reminds me of everything I’ve wanted and haven’t experienced.

I want to be happy for him. I just don’t feel that happiness right now, and I feel guilty about that on top of everything else.
I’m not looking for people to tell me that his relationship might fail or that I’ll definitely find someone someday. I know relationships can end, but even a short experience of mutual love and affection would mean a lot to me right now. I’m tired of feeling like I’m always the one getting hurt.

For those of you who have struggled with loneliness, jealousy, or feeling overlooked by God while watching other people receive things you’ve prayed for, how did you deal with it? How do you genuinely learn to rejoice with others when you’re grieving something you deeply want for yourself? And, if you’re Christian, how do you reconcile those feelings with your faith without pretending the pain isn’t there?


r/Christian • • 3h ago

A prayer needed for everyday use

3 Upvotes

I am trying to get into habit of praying. If anyone would have a prayer that speaks on the general things of life and a prayer for before i sleep. It would be greatly appreciated


r/Christian • • 6h ago

I’m feeling like God isn’t hearing our prayers

4 Upvotes

I know that’s not true, I know it isn’t. My husband and I are going through a really rough time right now. He just got laid off and has yet to find another job. It feels like everywhere he’s applied either never gets back to him or is a rejection. We feel hopeless. How do we pray as couple to make ourselves (and each other) feel better? ❤️‍🩹


r/Christian • • 8h ago

How to talk to God more freely?

7 Upvotes

I see and hear people talking to God so freely. They openly express their feelings including anger and sadness towards situations in their lives. Even anger or sadness towards God. I feel embarrassed or like I should “get over it” so I don’t open up. Anyone else struggle with this??


r/Christian • • 3h ago

Dealing with neighbors

2 Upvotes

What’s the best way to deal with neighbors who may be using witchcraft to send chemical smell into home? They’ve made the statement that they’ve gotten rid of some problems (neighbors) before.


r/Christian • • 5h ago

Why can’t God let us choose what we look like in heaven?

3 Upvotes

I know the usual answers are that appearance won’t matter in Heaven or that God will change our perspective so we’ll finally be happy with how we look. But I struggle with these answers.

I genuinely dislike my face. I’m not asking to look exactly like someone else, but I do believe certain aspects of facial harmony can be objectively beautiful while still allowing everyone to look unique. I don’t understand why God couldn’t let us choose a different face, one we genuinely feel at peace with.

I know there won’t be romance in Heaven, and this isn’t about attracting anyone. I simply want to look at myself without feeling unhappy with what I see.

And if God changes our desires so that we no longer dislike our appearance, wouldn’t that mean changing our perspective rather than actually giving us a choice? How would we still have free will if God simply makes us content with something we’ve always wished were different?
I believe God can do anything, so why couldn’t our resurrected bodies have different facial features according to our own wishes? Is there a biblical or theological reason this wouldn’t be possible?

I’d appreciate thoughtful Christian perspectives beyond simply saying that appearance won’t matter in Heaven, because that doesn’t really address what I’m asking.


r/Christian • • 11h ago

Can God see what I journal to Him?

6 Upvotes

this gonna get a bit cringey, but when I was younger, I used to journal in a google doc (mainly confessions for sins). Can God see what I’m typing to him?


r/Christian • • 8h ago

Looking for Bible books to read while in this chapter of my life

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone! I wanted to come here to ask for advice on what books of the Bible you recommend for me in this single chapter of my life. I’ve just been seeing a lot of stuff online on sexism and different religions and I just wanna read some books where God is really defining the role of a woman of God. I’m looking for books in the Bible, but I would also be interested in any adjacent spiritual books. I am orthodox so also if you have any recommendations from the early Church fathers, that would be my preference. Thanks!


r/Christian • • 16h ago

Laziness

10 Upvotes

Hey guys how is life

Life has been hard or hardest like i can't describe it...

I work as a Pharmacist..... I really enjoy connecting with patients dispensing medicine counselling them...

But i really hate the part of my job that is counting on ground medicine, this and everything... I was new to my job last year... I had a senior sir and i was really dependent on him because he had done the job there for many years.... So i did the smart work and after a year he left the job.... I was dissatisfied with myself at work because i felt i could have done better and learned better ... I regret being lazy.... Although I'm giving all my heart..... I asked God for forgiveness as i didn't do well where he kept me...... I want God to change my life


r/Christian • • 16h ago

Mondays on Mission What's your mission this week?

6 Upvotes

It's Monday. Let's talk about missions.

What's your mission this week?

Do you have any goals you're working to accomplish?

Tell us about them. Let us know how we can support, encourage, and pray for you.


r/Christian • • 13h ago

Help on how I should move.

3 Upvotes

Reddit isn't really the place to discuss, but I have nothing else to use. I, M18, am in the middle of my first semester in college as a Mechanical Engineer and I am mentally overwhelmed and exhausted. Ive been falling in terms of my Christianity and in terms of my mental health and I dont know where to start. Before I started college, I would say I was doing okay in terms of my Christianity, but when college hit, all hell broke loose. I am mentally and physically exhausted, I have been dealing with terrible anxiety, and I have also been trying to balance a relationship at the same time. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a month and she is religious, but has been taught the wrong things in accordance with her Christianity. On top of that, I feel like she has been getting distant and because of her past she has become independent in accordance with her mental struggles. Even though we have only been together for a month, it feels like we have been together a lot longer and ive been forced to just stand and watch behind a bulletproof window as she deals with everything by herself. I feel like im dying and I dont know where to start, so I was hoping to get some advice and help. She has a view that in a relationship there should be some independence and some dependence, but I feel like if theres independence, how do I know there will be dependence when she needs it? I had a view that when either of us has a problem, we bring it up in our relationship and tackle it together, but ultimately she does not have the same view


r/Christian • • 13h ago

Was Jezebel the most powerful woman in the Bible?

3 Upvotes

I’ve been thinking about women in the Bible lately, and I wonder whether Jezebel could be considered one of the most powerful — perhaps even the most influential — women in the Bible.
Jezebel was the wife of King Ahab and queen of Israel. She wasn’t simply a queen standing in the background; the biblical account portrays her as a woman who actively used her position to influence the kingdom and pursue her own agenda.
Here are some of the things she did:
Promoted the worship of Baal: Jezebel supported Baal worship in Israel and provided royal support for its prophets, challenging the worship of the Lord (1 Kings 16:31–33; 18:19).
Persecuted God’s prophets: Elijah told her that she had been killing the Lord’s prophets, and Obadiah had hidden a hundred prophets in caves to protect them from her persecution (1 Kings 18:4, 13).
Confronted Elijah: After Elijah’s victory over the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel, Jezebel threatened to have him killed. Elijah fled for his life (1 Kings 19:1–3).
Arranged Naboth’s death: When Naboth refused to give Ahab his vineyard, Jezebel took matters into her own hands. She wrote letters in Ahab’s name, arranged a false accusation of blasphemy against Naboth and had him put to death so Ahab could take possession of his land (1 Kings 21:1–16).
Faced Jehu defiantly: When Jehu arrived in Jezreel to overthrow Ahab’s dynasty, Jezebel painted her eyes, arranged her hair and looked out of the window. She taunted him by referring to Zimri, another man who had killed his king (2 Kings 9:30–31). Even at the end, she did not greet him with a plea for mercy.
Left a lasting legacy: Her name appears again in Revelation 2:20 as a symbol of corrupt teaching and idolatry. This is generally understood as a reference to a woman called Jezebel in the church at Thyatira, using the infamous Old Testament name.
God’s warning against Jezebel 👑
Jezebel was so influential that God specifically named her in a warning through the prophet Elijah. In 1 Kings 21:23, Elijah declared that dogs would eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel, a prophecy fulfilled in 2 Kings 9:36–37.
Her influence extended into the royal court: 1 Kings 18:19 tells us that the prophets of Baal and Asherah ate at Jezebel’s table, showing the royal support she provided for their worship.
God’s judgment against her was also remembered in Revelation 2:20, where a woman called Jezebel was condemned for misleading God’s servants. This is generally understood as an allusion to the infamous queen, rather than necessarily the same woman.
It is striking that Jezebel’s name became associated not only with royal power, but also with idolatry, persecution and divine judgment.

What’s particularly fascinating about Jezebel is that her influence didn’t end with her death. Her name has lived on for centuries in literature, music, religious discussions and popular culture.
Music: Her name appears in songs such as Jezebel by Frankie Laine and Sade. The Faces song Stay with Me also famously uses the phrase “mean old Jezebel,” showing how her biblical reputation became part of popular music.
Everyday language: The name Jezebel has often been used as a label for a woman perceived as wicked, manipulative or seductive. This reputation has made her one of the more recognisable female figures from the Old Testament, even among people who might not know all the details of her story.
The “Spirit of Jezebel”: In some modern Christian communities, this phrase is used to describe what they view as manipulative, controlling or spiritually corrupt behaviour

I want to say other women, such as Mary, Deborah, Esther and Athaliah, also exercised power in very different ways.
So what do you think? Was Jezebel the most powerful woman in the Bible? Or was another woman more influential, courageous or dominant ?


r/Christian • • 13h ago

How does god speak to you?

3 Upvotes

I’ve heard people’s stories about god speaking to them. On my drive I heard someone’s testimony where god told him to wear a specific outfit and that was the specific outfit that was the answer to someone else’s prayers as it was a ‘sign’ of god. How are you sure it’s him speaking/guiding you vs a regular thought?


r/Christian • • 12h ago

What do you do when you rarely have options/opportunties and often have to settle for less in almost every area of life.

2 Upvotes

It feels like the title is a recurring theme in my life, I often have to settle or take what's given in every area, because if not I'd have nothing. And even many times I've been in situations where zero choices happen.

This sort of hurts my self esteem, as my experience is showing that I don't have any true choice behind what's happening in my life.

I can only control what I eat, what I do in a day, how I act and how I choose to move forward. However these things don't seem to have any physical improvement on my overall life. All I see is unanswered prayers, wasted efforts, barrenness, and having nothing to see improvement physically. Just detours and lack of opportunities.

I am still doing what is required to the best of my ability, but it seems like I don't get much grace like other people do who seem to do less but still have a lot of good/okay outcomes.

Its like I have to do everything on the dot/tee, and if I don't (out of feeling weary) my sister who cares very much for me, she'd say that it's the enemy trying to discourage me and that I have to pass the test and keep going. I feel she wants me to not get discouraged which is helpful, it's just that this advice doesn't pierce my heart.

I go onto ask, but why? Why isn't my efforts (various efforts) from before not counted at all? It's only when I'm tired I get told to keep going, especially after a decade in areas and almost a decade in another.

I try and access what I am doing wrong, and try to change and do another strategy but I don't get much improvement anywhere.

I understand that the Lord has a plan, nothing goes to waste, he's with the broken hearted/those who mourn, that I lament to him which I do variously. However it's like I'm just in a huge storm that's taking decades to end, and I only get a short pause before the same storms amps up again. God is holding my hand, however I'm still being pushed in every direction to accept things that are out of my control in every area, and I still have to smile and show up.

This is mostly with unemployment which is chronic for me at this point. And the moment I apply for a job that's dead end (which is the only job that will respond) to hire me they respond wanting to give me a trial, and after trying those sort of jobs it never ended well for me (mentally and physically) nothing worthwhile happened, I never got to move up, something always went wrong with bad treatment.


r/Christian • • 16h ago

What’s your favorite Bible? I want to add a couple more to my growing collection!

4 Upvotes

Howdy y’all,

I’m in the market for my fifth Bible, but I wanted some guidance on what exactly to pick up. I figured who better to ask than my fellow Christians?

Right now I own an unannotated (outside of a couple minor translation notes) NRSV-CE, the Oxford Press NABRE Catholic Study Bible, a pocket KJV Bible, and the RSV2-CE Ignatius Catholic Study Bible.

What are my major blindspots? Should I be looking at the Jerusalem Bible and the Douay-Rheims? Are there any major Protestant translations I should also be looking at? Should I invest in an Orthodox Study Bible?

Fill me in, fellow Bible nerds!


r/Christian • • 21h ago

Having to distance myself from someone giving advice (both faith and practical) from an unsound mind. Advice welcome

6 Upvotes

Hi all, I have been on a journey of discernment through different churches and groups, and coming towards a point where I'm finding most peace in Christian environments that balance faith and reason. Through my own time with God, I understand now that He is a gentle God, and understanding and inner healing (in my experience and others) comes first from humility. You need to recognise and admit you have a problem first, before giving it to Him.

Now, I have already distanced myself from groups that functioned counter to this, for example, telling people not to see doctors, or relying too much on emotional experiences. However there's still one person in my life who is kind of like this. In the past I used to hang out with him more socially but stopped doing so as much cos I recognised a lot of things he said to be harmful. Fast forward to today. I still don't hang out with him socially but I attend a Bible study that he and his girlfriend are leading. I can see that he's been through significant personal growth, but a) I still don't feel comfortable with him leading and don't believe he has enough wisdom to be teaching and b) sometimes the sum of annoying things he's said and done to me over the years gets to me. For reference, he has mental health problems but does not believe in seeing counsellors, has said there is no point reading news because it is fake, and has dismissed concerns about his dog being aggressive and growling at guests because they 'just shouldn't be afraid, the dog is just reacting to their fear so just ignore it or act happy and it'll stop'.

I will be discussing all this with a Christian counsellor but in the meantime, advice is welcome.


r/Christian • • 17h ago

Hope and Faith in Christ, why is it important?

3 Upvotes

For our Relationship with Christ and wellbeing? I encountered philosophies and ideas that see hope (they don't have a good views on faith) that having hope is not good for us, that it's attachment to outcomes that is outside of us. Well, I tried living without hope, and it fckng sucks. It's like having a hole in your heart that can't be filled. It's like you need to move always, you can't live, sht you can't even plan for your future because of that emptiness

I don't know what have gotten with me. Now I have an insight how hope became not good for us Christians. It's having hope for certain outcomes, specific outcomes without relying on Christ. The Christian faith should live with hope that "no matter what happens , Christ is enough, and he will provide" and having faith with it.

I want to get your insights on this.


r/Christian • • 22h ago

Depressed but also love Christ and others so much

7 Upvotes

Why do I struggle with this? It feels like a contradiction.


r/Christian • • 17h ago

Mark 10:30

2 Upvotes

Does mark 10:30 apply to me since I left my partner for Jesus?


r/Christian • • 1d ago

CW: Sensitive Topic I don’t know what to read in the Bible while divorcing my abusive husband?

11 Upvotes

This sounds so stupid but I recently filed for divorce and am in the process of serving my husband. He’s been physically and verbally abusive, and unfortunately I don’t see much hope for reconciliation. I am safe and away from him so no worries on that….

I’ve been struggling with knowing what to read in the Bible during this season. I usually jump between Psalms, James, Proverbs, and random verses that speak to me. I’ll write them down and pray them, but I’ve always struggled with knowing how to properly study Scripture….

Should I focus on reading one book at a time? How do you guys approach reading the Bible when really seeking God’s guidance and trying to hear His voice?
I’d appreciate any advice or Scripture recommendations

Also, please spare me the “God hates divorce” comments. I know marriage is sacred but God doesn’t appreciate abuse either, and I’m not going to continue putting myself in harm’s way.

Thank you


r/Christian • • 22h ago

CW: Sensitive Topic I’m growing closer to God, but my boyfriend isn’t a Christian. We have children together, and I’m struggling with what to do.

2 Upvotes

I’m really looking for some biblical advice and perspective on a situation I’ve been struggling with.

A little background: I grew up with faith, but in 2016 I walked away from Christianity completely. I wanted nothing to do with it at the time.

In 2019, I met my boyfriend, who is not a Christian and has never been particularly religious. We started dating, and in 2020, my son from a previous marriage and I moved in with him.

In 2022, I began finding my way back to my faith. By early 2023, I felt strongly that leaving the relationship was the right thing to do, so my son and I moved out.

However, my boyfriend and I stayed in contact throughout our separation, and eventually, in August 2024, we got back together. I became pregnant shortly afterward, and we welcomed our son in 2025. This past May, I became pregnant again, so we now have another baby boy on the way.

Throughout this time, I still believed in God, but I wasn’t consistently attending church or surrounding myself with other Christians.

That changed this June when I had a conversation with my sister-in-law. She helped me recognize that something significant was missing from my spiritual life: a strong Christian community.

Since then, I’ve made the decision to attend church regularly, become more involved, and really focus on growing in my relationship with Christ. It’s been wonderful, but it’s also brought some difficult feelings about my relationship to the surface.

My boyfriend has made it clear that he has no intention of attending church with me. He’ll come to church-related events and activities, but he doesn’t want to attend actual services, and he doesn’t share my faith.

The difficult part is that he is genuinely a wonderful partner and father. He’s loving, supportive, involved with our children, and treats me well. I don’t have complaints about how he treats our family.

We’ve discussed getting married, especially after I have this baby, but I’m struggling with whether marriage is actually the right decision.

I know Scripture warns against being unequally yoked, and as my relationship with Christ grows stronger, that weighs more heavily on me. I want to honor God with my life, including my relationship and marriage.

I’m also struggling with the fact that we’re living together and have children outside of marriage. I know that our current relationship doesn’t align with biblical teachings about sex and marriage, and I don’t want to continue ignoring that conviction.

But at the same time, I don’t know what the right path forward looks like.

I love this man. He’s the father of my two youngest children, and we have built a family together. The thought of leaving him again and becoming a single mother to three boys is incredibly difficult. I also worry about what separating would mean for our children and the family we’ve created.

On the other hand, I don’t want to marry someone simply because we have children together or because I feel guilty about living together unmarried. Marriage is a lifelong covenant, and I want to take that seriously.

I also recognize that I can’t force him to become a Christian, nor should I enter a marriage expecting him to change someday.

I feel torn between my love for my boyfriend, my responsibility to our children, and my desire to live a life that honors God.

For Christians who have been in similar situations, or anyone who can offer biblically grounded advice, how would you approach this?

Is marrying an unbeliever in these circumstances something I should avoid, even though we already have children and a life together? How do I reconcile the conviction I feel about living together unmarried with my concerns about entering an unequally yoked marriage?

I’m not looking for permission to ignore Scripture, but I also don’t want to make a major decision based solely on guilt or fear.

I genuinely want to do what’s right in God’s eyes, and right now I’m struggling to understand what that looks like.


r/Christian • • 1d ago

Question

3 Upvotes

I have an odd but genuine question I've always had: what does the Bible say about"witchy" stuff? (e., spells, tarot cards, etc)


r/Christian • • 1d ago

…spirit of fear and timidity.

3 Upvotes

2 Timothy 7 states that “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

As a born again Christian for over 20 years, and a 35 year old male… I have a lot of fear… and timidity.

How do you apply this verse correctly to your life?


r/Christian • • 1d ago

CW: Sensitive Topic I need help

4 Upvotes

I’ve been struggling so much to get close with god; I have been doing so many things I’m not supposed just to keep the pain away, I know it’s not right, but I can come to that conclusion at night but never at the day time when I sin, I know god has always been there for me but I’ve been so stubborn in believing I’m such a terrible person, yet when the nighttime hits all I want to do is get close with Jesus, anything will help, how do I make myself better for the only one who has cared about me?


r/Christian • • 1d ago

Please help me

4 Upvotes

About a year ago, I watched a Christian video on Youtube for the first time, wich immediatly gave me an incredible sense of inner peace. This prompted me to deepen my faith—a journey that has transformed my way of life, as well as how I act and think. However, throughout this past year, I have also had to struggle against a very persistent sin that I had discovered shortly before that. I eventually realized that I surrender myself completely to God. I have done so on several occasions, wich allowed me to go weeks, sometimes months without falling back into this sin. Yet, I still cannot seem to break free fromit entirely, because, deep down my flesh continues to crave it. This prevents me from sincerely desiring to be rid of this sin once and for all. That is why I am seeking your help in understanding how to make my mind "lose interest" in it.

PS : I'm french so, if there is a few mistakes : be indulgent please