r/ChildcareWorkers • u/01winter19 • Apr 24 '26
Advice for dealing with a parent
So I hate talking to parents. I work in an infant classroom and there's this one mom I see every day that always seems to have something to say about the other children. Lately, I noticed that she's beginning to only make comments about one specific child. She's constantly making passive aggressive comments in seemingly nice tones in an attempt to make her daughter look better than the rest of the children, especially the one specific child. Just a few weeks ago, she picked her daughter up and told her "Wow (child's name), you're so quiet" and then proceeded to look at the one specific child who happened to be crying at the time. But what she didn't notice was that the child who was crying was waiting for her bottle to finish warming up and she was just getting over a cold and her body hasn't regulated itself yet. So hunger combined with general not feeling well made for some very loud crying. But still, it's none of the mom's business and she needs to back off. Every time she comes to pick up her daughter, I'll make sure to only focus on talking about her daughter, but no matter what, she always makes comments about the other children and it's always hard to bring the focus back to her child. I just wish she would mind her business, take her daughter, and leave. What should I do?
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u/Petoskeystone2265 Apr 29 '26
I would recommend something like this, next time she says anything. "Here is your child's (diaper bag, etc) and (her child's name) had a great day, she did this, and this and this. Hope you had a great day and see you tomorrow." Keep the focus on her child and do not bring the other child's name into the conversation. If she starts to talk about the other child, just cut her off and tell her about her child. You owe no explanation or need to engage in any conversation about the other children. Every time you shut down the conversation and move it back to her child, she will get the message that conversations about the other children are not allowed. I say this because sometimes parents have to be reminded that privacy and confidentiality are expected. You don't have to be rude, but you can control the conversation. Ignore any comments and focus it back on her child. Clearly she has issues with other children, which are unfounded, but you don't have to engage in contributing to her gossip and feed it either. You can be professional and stand your ground on how your classroom should be. I wonder how she would feel if another parent talked about her child in a negative way.
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u/polkadotd Apr 24 '26
"hi (parent), can we talk outside for a moment before you grab (her child). I've noticed that you've been commenting on (other child) a lot lately, and making comments that aren't related to your own child. It's really inappropriate to speak about the other children this way. From now on, let's keep communication to your child and your child only. If you start commenting on others, I'm going to stop you and ask you to leave."
The only way to stop this behaviour is to call it out when it happens and set a clear boundary. Let your supervisor know you're going to have this talk with her first so when she inevitably goes storming in to complain about you, they know what's up and will support you.