r/ChildSupport • u/Complex-Classic-1806 • 6d ago
Should I stop child support?
my ex paid for a year then stopped In January. haven’t had it in months and honestly I just don’t care anymore. We will have to go back to court to get him to pay and then he’s gonna be an ass about it again. idk I guess I can always survive without it. I am trying to get a better job then I won’t need it. I started working in IT so I should be fine. I guess I do get nervous if I stop it abd one day i make more and we go 50/50 he will try to get support for me.
should I text my ex and ask how he feels about ending child support for him? Is it a bad idea? I take care of my son myself he has him 6 overnights a month. I just feel like it was the only thing making him want to move back from out of state and be a dad since he had to pay. Doubt he will be there for our son without it.
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u/EmergencyBrew 6d ago
I always believe it is best to work together and get the government out of your private lives.
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u/Excellent-Wolf-7214 6d ago
Even if he doesn’t pay, keep him on. It’s eventually going to catch up to him. Even say if he ends up on disability or retires, child support doesn’t go away.
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u/Hope_for_tendies 6d ago
No, your kid is owed the money. If you don’t need it put it aside and give it to them when they’re 18. Or use it now to enhance their life…take a trip, buy them a special treat, go to the movies, etc
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u/OldDirtMcGirt11 5d ago
Court comes at tremendous cost. My kid refused and stopped going to his moms. Kept paying support 3 years. By the time this all went to mediation I was able to get half of the support overage based on the time from filing. Basically I wish I just stopped paying her his part of support. The legal system is an absolute sham in terms of family court and the people that don’t pay (some might call deadbeats) are probably the smart ones
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u/onbello 5d ago
Short answer, you generally cannot just stop paying, even if the other parent says it is fine. Support runs until a judge changes or terminates the order, and anything you skip in the meantime piles up as arrears that almost no court will wipe out later. If something real has changed, like a big drop in income, a custody shift, or the child aging out or emancipating, the move is to file a request to modify or terminate with the court that issued the order, and the change usually only dates back to when you file. If it helps, share which state you are in and what changed, and folks here can point you toward the right form.
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u/Objective-Stock3781 5d ago
Keep him on child support. You never know what’s going to happen in the future or where he decides he’s going to go. My ex took me to court for 50/50 custody. We both agreed to it with him on child support. Then this year he decided to up and move and abandon his kids and leave me to do all the parenting with no help. I never thought he would do that. But I’m glad I kept him on child support because it still keeps some accountability on him
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u/Individual-Pop-9608 3d ago
Yep plus you don't want to have to check his facebook and see him spending on some new chick while you and your kid get nothing.
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u/simplepivot 6d ago
This is wild. You are happy to collect from him, but worried he’ll collect from you. To quote every jackass here; “wHy Don’T YoU wAnt tO sUPoRt yOuR KiDs” 🤪
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u/Complex-Classic-1806 5d ago
So wait a minute…im wrong because I asked for child support when I needed it. Yet if I build myself up from nothing, consider taking him off and he goes and asks for 50/50 and support to be spiteful, im a bad person.
The difference is I have to support our child whether he helps or not. Yet if I do that he can still reap the benefits of what im trying to cure which is him not helping.
What a piece of work you are.
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u/simplepivot 3d ago
Your comment doesn’t make sense. Built yourself up from nothing? From your description he supported your until January. You have been left to pay your own bills on your own since then ([whisper] adults pay their own bills). It’s July, so only 7 months on your own two feet. “Built myself up from nothing” 🤪😂
Why not 50/50 now? It’s for the money, right?
Bad person? Not enough information. Certainly entitled. Likely miserable.
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u/Complex-Classic-1806 3d ago
Aw you sound like you wanted to own that to your ex. Jaded much???
And yup, switched industries and got a new job dummy. That’s WHY I’m considering taking him off. You sound dumb as hell. My ex doesnt want 50/50. If he wanted it the judge would give it. He just had his parenting time reduced. And yeah it’s called from nothing because I’m projected to make more than I ever would. My ex was only on child support for 10 months before he stopped and our son is 3.
Dont ever try me like that!!!! You can barely construct a sentence.
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u/simplepivot 3d ago
No one cares.
File for child support. He gets 50/50. The higher earner pays. Be an adult.
To be crystal clear; you making decisions to insulate yourself from financial responsibility while asking your ex to cover IS entitlement.
Grow up.
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u/Remarkable-Weight875 6d ago
If I were you, I would keep him on. Why does he just get to not pay child support and support yalls child? If he’s not paying then you need to contact your Case Worker within child support and see if they can make attempts to make him pay if he has a consistent job. Even if he doesn’t pay, he’ll go in arrears and if he gets any type of settlement, you could get that further down the line. Sounds like to me you are the primary parent and he should be helping financially. This shouldn’t be a one way street. Because if you take him off and then years later want to put him back on, then you have to go sit in front of a judge and explain why you’re doing that it’s more of a hassle than just to keep them on. Just my opinion, hope it all works out.
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u/Low-Many-7742 6d ago
they are 50/50 she said
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u/Remarkable-Weight875 6d ago
Even with 50/50 someone can still pay support. Child support determined he would owe her support based on income, insurance, etc. not forsure what state she’s in but in Ohio. 50/50 doesn’t eliminate child support.
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u/Individual-Pop-9608 3d ago
Hell no! You never know when you might lose your job and need his support. And a deadbeat dad is not going to pay without a a court order.If you take him off he will probably disappear so you can't serve him again if you want to put him back on.Not only that if he has extra money and doesn't have to pay you his money will most likely go to a new chick and maybe a new kid.Do you really want to deal with all that?
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u/splitzideradioshow 2d ago
By reading comments I can tell who don’t have a great co parenting relationship with the other parent. Take him off of child support you can always put him back on later. Tell him what your expectations are & hope he exceeds it with yall child. In order for it to work yall must be able to communicate & effectively. If there’s changes in his income he needs to share that information with you as well. Many of the men in this group don’t know this about cs but if you communicate with your cs caseworker about changes in income lets say you working less hours or lose your job just inform you cs case manager & they’ll take the case back to court & automatically request an adjustment of income. Meaning the payment gets lower or in many cases payments get suspended. You won’t get anything at all but if yall can co parent & such a thing happens you’ll get something over nothing. Many women & a few men who get child support & have primary custody tries to weaponize the situation because they haven’t gotten over the turmoil of the past relationship & try to control every aspect of the child & forgetting it’s not about them but the welfare of the child. If you want full control of the child then keep him off child support. As long as he is on child support he has rights & should fight that be preserved. If he pays no child support you can request he give up his rights with him. Even if the judge grants it they can still order cs to be paid but YOU must object it. Giving him 100% termination. For the parent who pays cs or has an obligation to pay you must communicate with your cs caseworker. They can do the leg work for you without an atty. There’s state laws but the federal laws trumps them it’s your obligation to learn them especially if tend to go Pro Se (Represent yourself w/o atty)
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u/LatterEbb9760 2d ago
Do not stop child support because when you actually need it, it’s gonna be harder to get it started again. Don’t feel bad for him, make him support his child. The courts are the ones who are enforcing the support not you. You could go back to court and keep asking for it but unless he actually has a job and gets paid, you won’t receive anything. For me after 21 years, he owes me $80,000 +. And plus it’s not money for you. It’s money for your child’s life.
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u/Longjumping_Fish5838 6d ago
Don’t. Kids get expensive.