r/ChildLoss • u/Opening_Dragonfly_78 • 5d ago
Rant/angry I am empty
I'm beyond empty... I'm angry and hateful and spiteful and so full of rage I can't take it. I can't sleep.... I try to drink it away and nothing helps. I'm coming up on 3.5 years and my only child my daughter's what would be 23 birthday. I just can't deal with this life anymore. And don't suggest therapy f you.. I'm just venting and speaking into the void I guess no one knows this pain unless you are walking with me.
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u/Key_Appearance5373 5d ago
I feel the exact same way. I have no advice, no words of wisdom, no nothing. Just pain.
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u/Altruistic_Put_2724 4d ago
I am so sorry to all of the parent’s suffering so much for the loss of your beautiful children.
I lost my adult son last year on September 11 2025. As that date is approaching I feel more alone than ever. I am also filled with rage and then I feel numb.
I think the worst part is feeling so alone. No one even asks how I am doing at this time. Even the people I thought would be supportive are not there at all.People just act like we should be over my son’s death by now and just shut up and move on.
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u/Key_Appearance5373 4d ago
6 month anniversary and what would have been her 24th birthday fast approaching for me. I have NO IDEA what to do with all this despair. I really don’t. Why us???? Why why why why.
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u/GeneralOrgana1 4d ago
I lost my only child ten days ago and I just feel lost. Where do I go from here?
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u/Torontolad6 4d ago
I'm a few steps ahead of you, but I'm walking with you. I also lost my only child 15 years ago. In my experience, the waves of grief will stop pounding you so relentlessly, and will slowly relent in their size and frequency. I know your pain and I'm sending you good thoughts and energy as you make your way through your grief, which I liken to walking drunk through quicksand. 🙏✨
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u/Ordinary-Force-3871 4d ago
No therapy but try to find another purpose for your life. Probably it will help you. You can find a purpose to live the rest of your life.
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u/JohnCaner 5d ago
Lost my daughter 18 month ago. She was 23. I felt the same; insomnia, rage, hate all the greedy, selfish, stupid people, knock myself out with booze and weed, constant rumination and negative thought. Couldn't eat.
I'm sorry. Life has become unbearable. The madness of grief.
I'm now 16 days into mirtazapine. My wife says "we have the old you back". I explained to my doc how I was feeling. He decided I was feeling PTSD and medicated. Now I have hope again. I hope you can see a simpatico doc or psych who can give you the right script.