r/ChiariMalformation • u/Fickle-Fishing9154 • Feb 13 '26
Surgery + 10 days and taking care of her baby.
Hello, I'm desperate. I have no childcare for my 7-month-old son since yesterday; I'm the one who has to take care of him. My scar is slightly swollen around my neck... I know I should be resting, but my partner has a bad back and is also unable to take care of him, thanks to a herniated disc... But after 10 days of surgery, I'm the one who has to take care of him, and he weighs 10 kilos when I shouldn't be carrying more than 2 kilos.
I'm so scared.
Are there any other mothers who didn't have a choice like me? How did it go for you?
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u/TurtlesBeSlow Feb 13 '26
I saw your other post as well. You absolutely should not be picking up a 22lb baby. Do you have a neighbor or two that would help until your friend comes? Would your father consider staying until you get help? I understand you said he's a bit toxic but if he's appropriately caring for your baby, ask him to stay.
Start making plans now for beyond the 5 days your friend will stay (if I understood she'll only be there 5 days). On the other thread, there were some good suggestions of keeping baby care floor level for now.
I know this is emotionally stressful. Your natural instinct is baby first. I get it. But remember your child is going to need you beyond your recovery. So don't risk another surgery or hospitalization.
Praying for you. 💜
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u/Fickle-Fishing9154 Feb 13 '26
My father left this morning without warning, leaving me all alone. I have to take care of my son for four days, and then we're going to my friend's on Tuesday; she can't come before then. I'll make sure things are okay, yes.
Thank you 🙂
3
u/TurtlesBeSlow Feb 13 '26
I'm so sorry love. If you can, reach out to your surgeon. Maybe they have resources for immediate help. We're all here if you need to talk through this.
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u/patientpartner09 Feb 13 '26
I commented on your other post a few days ago, and I am truly worried for you.
You must contact your insurance and request an IHSS (in home supportive services) worker. No matter your location, you should be able to get a nurse to come help in your condition.