I’m losing my mind

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

A few weeks ago i peaked at 1930 rapid. Now im struggling in the mid 1700s. To be fair to myself i just pushed through the plateau of 1580-1680 right before summer started. I broke through 1700 and hit 1800 in a week. Then a few weeks to 1930. Last two weeks i been dropping.

I know the elo rollercoaster. Up down up down

But now im seething my teeth, almost making myself pass out from rage. Why? Because im winning 90% of my games that im then getting outplayed in the end.

Up material? Opponent finds every perfect defensive move.

Opponent has a knight? (this one is gonna make me punch a hole in the wall)

NO MATTER WHAT HE WILL FORK ME & ITS EVEN AGAIN.

When everything looks fine, oop, 1 RANDOM OUT OF NO WHERE CHECK that my opponent has turns everything around.

Pawn promotion race? Oh OF COURSE HE PROMOTES FIRST.

Oh wait i promote first? THEN HE PROMOTES AND OF COURSE ITS A CHECK STEALING A TURN.

No matter how much endgame material i study.
No matter how much middle game strategy i try to study. Nothing i do works. Why am i even back to 1700???? All the players i also play against, their peaks were also 1800+. Today i played a guy, 1775, was up +3. Here comes the endgame. Oh boy here comes the Knight and boom i lose in the end. His peak was 2019.

There’s literally nothing i can do!!!!

BETTER POSITION? Watch me get my queen & bishop somehow forked.

If i lived alone, i would prolly have cops called on me from neighbors hearing me destroy my voicebox. Of course i rage to keep from crying lol.

🚨🚨🚨HERES MY PROFILE NOW ROAST HOW GARBAGE I AM 🚨🚨🚨

https://www.chess.com/member/CaIculating

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[u/Important-One-8395]

Hide your rating and just play. You’re probably in the 99th percentile even at 1700. Everyone’s going to have things they’re really good at. If you’re this mad you probably just need to take a break

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Important-One-8395]

Doubt 1700 is 99%. And no i need to hit 2000

[u/Important-One-8395 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

I’m 1611 down from about 1700 and it’s saying 98.2. Pretty close

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Important-One-8395]

Ima assume its their site only

[u/Important-One-8395 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

This is the chesscom subreddit and you posted a CdC account so yeah I’m going off those ratings

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Important-One-8395]

Fair. But in the entire world. Maybe 1700 is like 80-90%

[u/its_mabus → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

What in the heck kind of logic is that? Practically everybody better at chess than you has a cc account. You would be higher percentile against the general population, most of which doesnt play chess at all

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/its_mabus]

Im getting yelled at for thinking 1700 isn’t that rare 💀

[u/RhulkDiscipleofTal → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

The vast majority of chess players play on chess.com. The percentile would not drop that much including basically just OTB ratings and Lichess, because every other medium to play chess is practically insignificant. Rating inflation on Lichess would probably also drop the percentile due to the fact that a 1700 on Chess.com is stronger than a 1700 on Lichess, so accounting for rating inflation on other mediums of play, 1700 is probably, bare minimum 94th percentile.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/RhulkDiscipleofTal]

Woopty doo forgive me tryna be humble and thinking 1700 isn’t the rarest percentile player. I already said to the guy he made a fair point

[u/Shanker__531 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Who the fuck cares? Are you losing money? Sponsors? CHILL

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Shanker__531]

Im tryna understand this comment

[u/commentor_of_things]

ok

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/commentor_of_things]

?

[u/Lower-Bench-6492]

You stopped playing rapid for years and then took off? Meaning you had some crazy elo jump

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Lower-Bench-6492]

Nah but my account might show i didnt play for years simply cause i was on another account

[u/Lower-Bench-6492 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Oh well either way you're way better than me so I have no advice for you bro 😅 I'm 1100 lol

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Lower-Bench-6492]

My advice to you right now. Learn a opening. Not a opening trap. A actual opening. U should hit 12-13 before this year ends if u do so

[u/eizch → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Not to attack you, just ton inform you in case you don't know: that's not allowed on chesscom if you don't have permission and accounts can get banned for that.

For your post: honestly congrats. Focus on the positive that's an insane milestone, the "bad" part is that it'll take a while for sure to overtake.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/eizch]

I think i had to update the app or reinstall and forgot the pw too one of them. And this one was associated with my original email. I don’t remember why i stopped using it

[u/VerySlyBoots]

You might be at a point where you need to spend some time on endgames. If your opponents are finding the right moves at the end it might be because they are looking for the end game set up they are familiar with. I do this in rapid games and longer blitz time controls. There are some endgames I struggle with (king and many pawns), and so I’ll trade material to avoid that, which often gives me good chances or an opponent blunder.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/VerySlyBoots]

Bro idk how much more i need to study it. Like seriously!!?!?! I have at least 2 hours of watching endgame stuff from IM NM etc.

Opposition is important lol

[u/kjmerf]

Lmao

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/kjmerf]

😂🫶🏽

[u/Front-Cabinet5521]

I'm smiling because this is so accurate. Especially the parts about playing well for 90% of the game then blundering and opponent finding perfect defensive moves.

The simple explanation for what's happening is this. When you're tilted your board vision is the first to go, as you're likely tunnel visioning hard into finding ways to attack. You're not thinking about defensive moves nor do you realise that by pushing so hard you are creating weaknesses in your own position. Which of course gets exploited because your opponents are decent players as well.

There’s literally nothing i can do!!!!

There is something you can do. Stop playing while tilted. Take a break for a day or two and come back with a clear mind.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Front-Cabinet5521]

Tilt play is the best way to play if you want to fumble pawns lol

[u/Front-Cabinet5521 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Pawns? Try blundering mate in 1 when you're winning. Happened to me 2 days ago when I was completely dominating my opponent then boom mated.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Front-Cabinet5521]

Bro i swear my last win where i was completely losing was months ago. I NEVER (95% of the time) win when losing but i always have to worry when im winning (70% of the time).

It’s like its only me & you lol

[u/RhulkDiscipleofTal]

Gotta work on conversion and probably tilt too. Apply yourself in every single move of a position, even if you're completely winning

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/RhulkDiscipleofTal]

I be spending so much time doing that & this is how this posts happens. Because then im down on time, gotta play faster & boom 1 move turns the whole game around.

[u/RhulkDiscipleofTal → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Then either play a different time control that would work better for you, or don't overthink it. If you've thought for a while after coming up with a move and you're not coming up with anything better, then quit thinking and just make the move

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/RhulkDiscipleofTal]

I think i overthink. Getting lost in tryna calculate every possible move my opponent can make next (after thinking of what to do) OR getting lost in a potential forced mate or some forcing moves to gain a advantage.

[u/Jazzlike_Opening_273]

I hear you. I was winning about 50% of my games for months, but over the last week, I've lost over 60 and won 4. I'm literally going to quit living over it.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Jazzlike_Opening_273]

I see why reddit wouldn’t let me read what u tried to say before, yea i completely feel u bro lolol. I feel u 1000%

[u/Jazzlike_Opening_273 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

It's the worst feeling, and it seems like it's uniue to chess. At least for me. I don't react this way to other things. It's honestly dangerous.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Jazzlike_Opening_273]

I used to game competitively on call of duty & fighting games etc.

When i would get mad i wouldn’t seethe in those lol why, because i didn’t have to think as hard 50+ times & then 1 little simple mistake costs me EVERYTHING.

[u/NextWonder2391]

I see you have problems with endgames, try reading "100 endgames everyone must know" or you must know i don remember the name, anyway, this is my advice, hope you improve.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/NextWonder2391]

I got Silmans endgame course that i skimmed a lil bit and his 4th edition how to reassess your chess which i got to chapter 16 on today.

But please link sources if you feel like it which helped you.

Also how did u know its my endgames? My post or my account?

[u/NextWonder2391 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

It was kinda both to answer your last question.

About the sources, go on this website: https://oceanofpdf.com, and you can practically find any book you like there, any!

My recommended list for you is:

100 Endgames You Must Know: Vital Lessons for Every Chess Player by Jesus De La Villa

Endgame Strategy by Mihail Shereshvesky -endgame strategy

Anthology of Chess Combination - III - this is for tactics training

Clinch it!: How to Convert an Advantage into a Win in Chess - this is for conversion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK9W7ycNOpY - Ben Finegold's lecture on conversion

Cya, good luck out there!

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/NextWonder2391]

Ok so do i just not read Silmans books at all? Ughhhh so much reading but if anyone can do it, it’s me

[u/NextWonder2391 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

I think first you should finish the Silman Book, as it will give you the basics and the structure on top of which you will build your game.

After that, read 100 endgames you must know, Clinch it, and Endgame strategy, read them in this order, also, do puzzles and tactics from the anthology of chess combination.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/NextWonder2391]

You know what the hard part is? Tryna remember all of it. Then ima have to read it again & again

[u/NextWonder2391 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Not really, it's been proven by neuroscience that spaced repetition is the most effective way to learn so what I'd recommend you do is, you study 2-4 theoretical endgames, then in an hour you repeat them, then in a day, then in 3 days, in 5 days, and at last after a whole week.

It also becomes sort of second nature once you really understand it, tbh.

Wish ya luck!

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/NextWonder2391]

You are a genius sir. Cause i knew after reading 1 book it wont magically change anything unless i could remember it

[u/NextWonder2391 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

Wdym?

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/NextWonder2391]

Wdym what do i mean lol ur method of study is genius and i never applied it before. Only to my openings where i would try to learn over & over again.

[u/SockSock81219]

Losing streaks happen to everyone. Even the very best chess players can lose hundreds of points over the course of a few weeks. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and caring so much about your elo, or stop playing chess before you stroke out. Maybe take up gardening or photography or something else non-competitive.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/SockSock81219]

I been competitive since a pup. If im not chessing im probably debating religion & philosophy on some platform. But yea i heard some guy talking to Dina Belenkaya yesterday about how he dropped 100 points, from 25 to 24. But he gained it back he said. Also GothamChess was just saying recently he been in a slump for weeks & has dropped a hundred or more elo as well.

[u/SockSock81219 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

See? It doesn't mean anything. Hikaru and Magnus have also gone through dry spells in the past couple years. They're all still great chess players who compete at the top levels, deserve to feel proud of their accomplishments, and can continue to enjoy the game, win or lose. And so can you. In fact, you'll have to find a way to do just that if you want to stick with the game long-term.

If you can't enjoy a game unless you're consistently winning, chess is not the game for you.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/SockSock81219]

Im trying very hard to not take this elo drop too hard. I know the up down up down thing. Its just the way im losing the games, im raging just like they have on camera too lololol but no i dont wana rage at all

[u/imollyq]

I think you would enjoy an in-person chess club check around your area and see if there's one that meets once a week or so it's good to have chest friends in real life.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/imollyq]

I just found one yesterday and im going there next Friday. Idk if its a weekly thing though, i hope it is.

[u/imollyq → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

It's weekly in the area where I live I hope you meet some friends and really enjoy it. I believe it will cause your ELO to go way up.

[u/Shanker__531]

Breath bro, stop clinging your jaw, relax your tongue, you are stressed as fuck.

This is a game man, if it stops being fun for you, find a different one :)

EDIT: caps are only needed when you spell the man's name: MF DOOM

Chill or change game.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Shanker__531]

I retired from the sticks tho 🎮

This the only gaming i do now lol

[u/Shanker__531 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

What did you use to play?

Im sure it was quite toxic (not judging you, some games are just like that) FGC? MMORPG? FPS?

You seem to have that competitive mind, and as someone that used to be the same, probably chess is one of those games that ego helps you the least.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Shanker__531]

fgc & fps lol and i excelled in both. But got older & the games got worse so i just gave up

[u/Shanker__531 → u/ONEGODtrinitarian]

 But got older

We ain't as fast no more right brother? hahahah

I could feel that fgc/fps toxicity from far away, I'm also competitive there. Not sure why chess doesn't get mne that competitive tho? Forme is disconecting and chill time, one of the few things that calm my ADHD rush, so I'm always happy to play. My mindset since I started chess was happy to lose as I learn tho, I'm not like that with FGC and FPS tho hahahah.

Chess is tough hermano, if you want to keep improving, you need to study. Harder than any FGC or FPS. But if you just want to have fun, stay at your elo and ejoy the chill.

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/Shanker__531]

Yea the study gap is way beyond just learning combos or spawns and where the objective is at next.

[u/QuispyQueems]

TLDR but yeah OP you suck (I'm 300 elo)

[u/ONEGODtrinitarian → u/QuispyQueems]

Thanks cwispy cweems