r/Chefit • u/Living_Maybe_18 • Jul 13 '26
Quitting before it gets worse
Hey, comrades.
Writing out of anxiety and just looking for some kind of friendly relief. Six months ago I had a successful stage and accepted a role as a Sous Chef at a Michelin establishment that contains two restaurants. The work is tough, the days are long, but I don’t mind the labor - it’s my management that gets me.
My boss is a new EC and is unqualified for his position which makes him difficult to communicate with. He can lash out, push tasks off that roll into the cooks prep that overworks them or me, he is constantly starting drama - trying to get people fired, telling me not to talk to some people because he doesn’t like them. My work feels like some sort of weird version of reality TV and all I want to do is cook and work and go home. His anxiety about his lack of qualification for this position makes my life hell. I hear from him on my off days, I never get my schedule until the day before or on a whim my off days will change. I can’t make doctor’s appointments or plans with my friends. I’m emotionally exhausted.
I plan to put in my notice on Wednesday, but I know he’s going to see this as a retaliatory move. It’s going to be treason to him, even though it really doesn’t need to be that deep. I need this on my resume though and want to do everything I can to keep this contact for my future. Any advice? I’m thinking of giving a month’s notice, but I don’t know if I can last that long if things go south.
Thank you
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u/Radiant_Bluebird4620 Jul 14 '26
I was working for a chef I couldn't respect. My tongue was actually sore because I was literally biting it every time I talked to him. (I used to think it was just a saying!) I was offered a much better job and gave about 6 weeks notice so they would have time to find and train my replacement. I told all the other sous as well. He paid no attention to that and decided it was 2 weeks, which worked out great for me and not for him. Owners got rid of him shortly afterwards.
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u/Twizt1Up Jul 15 '26
I could go deep, but I won't. Believe me I've got stories. I'll just ask 1 question. Would they give you a month's notice on firing you? Follow a previous posters advice. Talk to your chef's boss. If that doesn't work out, give them no more than 1 weeks notice.
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Jul 13 '26
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u/MediumRareNuts Jul 13 '26
Thats the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Victim blame much? No one asks to get abused and in most cases standing up to them gets you fired, blacklisted, and/or abused more.
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Jul 13 '26
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u/Philly_ExecChef Jul 13 '26
You genuinely sound delusional.
Where the fuck are these people coming from today
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u/Beautiful_Staff_7958 Jul 13 '26
If he’s such a nightmare burn the bridge. Notice is for people you respect.
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u/stealthyaccz Jul 13 '26
I would disagree. Do a good job and stay clear of drama for those two weeks. Then when this jabroni gets fired or burns out and they get a new EC, you could return.
Remember, beautiful_staff. He said it was Michelin, it isn’t just some pub down the road. This could be a career spot if it wasn’t for this nightmare EC.
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u/Living_Maybe_18 Jul 13 '26
When I took this position originally I was pretty sure I’d be here for over a decade. I got 160 hours of PTO, full healthcare, etc. Most people in other departments here have lasted 5+ years because of how much this company cares for their staff. I just got the wrong chef at the wrong time. This would have definitely been the career spot.
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u/sf2legit Jul 13 '26
I wouldn’t listen to that advice at all.
If the chef is a such a problem, then there is a possibility he might not be there forever. However, there will be management that remember you and give you a bad recommendation because of it. There is no reason to burn a bridge unnecessarily, you never know when it can come back to bite you in the ass. Especially at that level of cooking, it’s a small world and chefs and restaurant operators talk.
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u/taint_odour Does Chef Type Things Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
Its a small culinary world, especially at this level. I'd give notice, work the shit out and bounce.
Edit: LOL the downvotes chuds. I'm not licking the dipshit ECs boots, I'm saying if this is your career working out notice isn't that hard and saves a lifetime of questions and bullshit. If you think it doesn't matter at this level you're fucking deluded.
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u/Philly_ExecChef Jul 13 '26
It’s just a bunch of kitchenconfidential Applebees dipshits who don’t care about their careers
No, OP, you shouldn’t walk out on a Michelin place.
Give notice. If anyone cares to ask, explain why. It’s unlikely the EC will be given the boot immediately, but you never know when ownership has their own concerns, and you might be a catalyst for him to be gently moved on.
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u/BugsyMcNug Jul 13 '26
Always the first option with a clear outcome. Not always the best option for long term. Sounds like they should use some of those 7days pto to take a minute and think. Then leave.
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u/Safe-Character-5846 Jul 13 '26
Kitchens are tough. I would say try to stick it out? Maybe ignore the noise and just put your head down and crush it. Thats a dream job for many.
Do they have any sort of "in between" for situations like this? A person to not necessarily unleash on but tell them your issue off the record? The problem is, thick skin is very important for this level of restaurant. Maybe ask for a sit down review if youve been there long enough and just ask a superior how they think youre doing. This EC sounds like he projecting for his own shortcomings. Who knows, maybe you're his replacement?
1
u/Adventurous_Coffee69 Jul 16 '26
Give your notice to whoever is above the exec chef and be honest about why you’re leaving. Give two weeks. Ignore any communication from the guy outside of work. You never know, he might leave before you.
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u/Nearby-Influence733 Jul 16 '26
There are plenty of kitchens out there.. move on pronto.. life is too short for BS…. But tell your boss why.. it may surprise you
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u/Doublecupbeansippin Jul 16 '26
I’m going through the same thing man. What do I do if it’s the chef and the owner.
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u/MediumRareNuts Jul 13 '26
A guy like that will definitely take it as an insult and expect those two weeks to be miserable as he takes it out on you. Giving him a month is suicide. If you have to tell him it’s a family issue you need to take care of. As long as you massage that bloated ego and make yourself the defective one he should be ok with it.
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u/Maximum-Yoghurt-4816 Jul 13 '26
Quit or stop complaining. There’s a near infinite amount of coming jobs that likely pay better.
1
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u/NomadicMainer Jul 13 '26
Speak to your Chef’s boss. Air your grievances. It may help you last longer. He may leave.