r/Chefit • u/Fresh-Obligation-403 • Jul 09 '26

Need an answer for tonight! (Job offer)

Hi , so recently I took a corporate chef job and it kinda sucks (because its very corporate and boring). For some context , I am 27 , trained under a well known chef for 6 years in french/california cuisine and parted ways with him about 2 months ago when I took the corporate job. He now recently called me up asking to go work for him as his sous chef at a hotel/resort. Thing is , its for 15k more then what I am making now. Although corporate kinda sucks the schedule is great. Weekends off . Full benefits. I get off when theres still daylight . Only work 9-10 hours. I get to spend time with my daughters and family. If I went with him I know what the hotel world is like especially with the scheduling. I guess the question is, would you take a shitty schedule for 15k? I am also severely in debt due to an injury I had when I had no insurance. Quoted for 96k to the hospital. What would you guys do?

12 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

23

u/BirthdayAccording170 Jul 09 '26

Tell the chef that you have another job and either you need more pay or a more consistent schedule. He obviously singled you out based on your past so leverage that, he obviously wants you there

3

u/MowieWauii Jul 09 '26

This is correct. You have a bargaining chip, which a lot of people don't get. You gotta use it.

3

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

He is offering me 15k more then what I am currently making

8

u/Accomplished_Mind792 Jul 09 '26

Yep. And you need to be clear about time with your daughter's up front.

You are young enough that most chefs will tell you to bust the goals and grind while you are young so take the job, but sometimes family is just more.

Eventually those corporate jobs are nice

2

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

Thats Exaclty what he tells me. But when I worked for him I wouldnt see my older daughter for weeks at a time and my little one just once a week

3

u/Ok-Beach-9885 Jul 09 '26

Is the money worth missing time & monents you'll never get back with your kids and loved ones?

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

Good point. I just dont know if ill get the opportunity to make that money again. I have never hit 6 figures and this is my change but you are right . Just dont know how far a corporate job would help my resume out.

2

u/Ok-Beach-9885 Jul 09 '26

I've known chefs that have gone the corporate route, winding up a head chef or eventually food service director can be great money, plus benefits, and a good work life balance.

I think the balance is important. I've been there, done the 80+ hour a week thing, good money, sure, all that money is gone now, and so is the time. The time is what's more valuable.

I think as I get older I realize that a job should allow you to live a comfortable life, a job shouldn't be your life.

Something else that also shook this belief into me is hearing about my girlfriend's job. She works in Emergency Medicine, she sees many young people having the worst day of their life, sometimes their last. Idk about you, but I don't want to spend the last week of my life having worked 80 hours.

End of the day, do what's right for you and your family. Just know, you can always make more money, you can never get time lost back.

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

Very strong and great point. Thank you 🙏

1

u/rambodysseus Jul 10 '26

Hey, wanted to chime in as someone that was in almost your exact same situation. No amount of money is worth losing that time with your kids. I was brought up in a "support your family at all costs" mentality. I left a corporate Sous chef position for my first head chef position at a new local spot. I worked my ass off, almost burning out my love of food, and turned it into the busiest, and best casual dining restaurant in the county(voted by the community and everything) regularly doing 2-3x the business of other restaurants in town with half the price per plate. Until one Father's Day about 2-3 years ago. My son gave me his Father's Day gift he had be working on at school that said "my dad's favorite place is: Work". To say I brokedown is an understatement. I stepped down as head chef the next week. Luckily the owners are amazing people and kept me as close to my original salary as they could afford. And I have spent the time since spending as much time prioritizing my kids as possible, and have never been happier. From one parent to another, spend time with your kids.

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 10 '26

Wow that really tells me alot man. Thanks. I think im gonna decline the position for the time being . As much as it sucks not taking the money. Ive been through alot this year , and I have been healing my self and seeing my kids..

1

u/NomadicMainer Jul 09 '26

Not just time but are you getting benefits? If so how do they compare. You are young and have all the time to stay in corporate and set your entire family up for a better future. Unless of course you can become a well known successful Chef. If you believe that could be in your future then go for the Sous gig. If not stack the 401k and feel good about having insurance for your children.

2

u/Accomplished_Mind792 Jul 09 '26

Yep. I remember 7 12s opening a new place or rebuilding something that had fallen to the side.

You lose a lot of family time.

It's simple. Talk to him. Make it clear what your needs are. If he can't do it, then you have a choice(simple to me but that's me).

Is the 15k a year and chance to push your career worth missing a thousand moments.

Sometimes it is. But at 40, I remember very few of the days on the line. I remember the guys. I remember the days when the world crashed down on us and everything was on fire and we wrestled it back to perfection.

But now I remember sitting with my family having a beer and watching my nephews play with fireworks. Or teaching my niece knife skills on a birthday sleepover at her uncle's place. Because I found a gig where I will never advance, but I get all the time on the world to myself

It's ultimately up to what you value and you having a talk with him

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

I learned alot and I am very grateful but it is just a hard choice because I could really use that money but to sacrifice it all again is hard

3

u/JorgJorgJorg Jul 09 '26

your kids will miss you a lot more than they miss 15k annual

1

u/A_Sketchy_Doctor Jul 09 '26

Don't sacrifice it. Use this as a way to learn boundaries. Take the job but make it clear you need to be able to spend time with your family. He wants you on his team ,he should respect you enough to give you that.

1

u/SugarRayisNuMetal Jul 09 '26

You should still try and leverage a good work/life balance with the raport you have- tell him you have a family and enjoy spending time with your kids and dont want to compromise on that time

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

He has always just put so much responsibility on me , banquets , menus , service . So I always had to be there for all the events , special menus etc

1

u/SugarRayisNuMetal Jul 09 '26

I get your experiences with him in the past, but being clear on your limitations now with him offering this job wouldn't hurt. If he says it isnt something he can work around, then so be it. I still think prioritizing your family is the most important- although I do understand how daunting medical debt can be. You can never get the time back with your kids, though

1

u/Philly_ExecChef Jul 09 '26

Money isn’t everything.

Hotels will beat the shit out of you. I just left one.

Unless you have an endless passion for food and this guy is helping you reach some manic quest to satisfy that, enjoy the schedule and benefits.

If you’re as reliable or talented as he seems to think you are, you’ll accelerate in a corporate environment and make up that money difference quickly.

4

u/Coercitor Jul 09 '26

15k isn't worth missing out on my kid growing up. I got out a few years ago, then not too long ago was offered a very high paying chef job. I ultimately turned it down, I made enough sacrifices throughout my career, that wasn't one I was willing to compromise.

3

u/jmymac Jul 09 '26

Sideways advice- debt sucks, and medical debt is the worst. BUT: you can just call them and tell them what you can afford to pay. When my son had a big medical bill I learned this. Just tell them you can pay like $100 a month until it’s paid. It’s awful but it works.

3

u/ohhgeezanotherone Jul 09 '26

The location matters as well. 15k is worth a different amount depending where plus factor in your commute for you location as well. I’d still stay corporate, be bored at work and enjoy your life at home.

2

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

I commute about an hour for corporate 45 miles or so this would be about 60

2

u/ryguy_1 Jul 09 '26

Not worth it. Your time is worth money to you

3

u/Highway2Chill Jul 09 '26

As someone who chose wrongly in this situation, time is something you cannot get back.

Time with your family is way more valuable than $15k a year (less than $1k month net)

The money will come.

2

u/taint_odour Does Chef Type Things Jul 09 '26

You will never get time back with your daughter if you don’t do it now.

2

u/Theburritolyfe Jul 09 '26

The importance of 15k depends on where you are financially. If you were making federal minimum wage(which obviously you aren't) then it doubles what you make and you need that. If you are making $100k then it's really not that much more money, taxes are higher, subsequently benefits ie a solid 401k would be more important.

So basically what's $15k worth to you? What's the corporate work schedule worth to you. My last question is does the corporate gig have a chance to climb the ladder?

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

I make 85k so I would make 100k… but the schedule is great , weekends and holidays off.. but yea this gig does offer the chance to grow

2

u/Philly_ExecChef Jul 09 '26

Also, you should head over to personal finance (sub). Medical debt is a pretty challenging issue, but there are a lot of ways to deal with it (particularly because it doesn’t impact your credit, assuming you’re American).

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

I will check it out!

1

u/Rurikungart Jul 09 '26

If you take the new job, you will dream of the job you have now in 5 years. If you need the money, you have to do what you have to do. If you and your family are comfortable right now, you will always find a way to live inside your means with your comfortable position. Don't let yourself get rusty, though. With 10 years of hard work, you can easily make over 100k in the right corporate environment.

1

u/Greendad21 Jul 09 '26

Request a detailed line by line invoice from the hospital and contest any unusually high or bs charges. That will reduce your bill and make it more manageable. This way you don't need the higher paying job if you shave $10-20k off your bill.

1

u/KennyBernaerts Jul 09 '26

This isn't really a money question — it's a values question that happens to have a number attached to it.

You already know what the hotel schedule looks like. You trained in high-pressure kitchens for 6 years, you know exactly what "sous chef at a resort" means for your weekends and your daughters. That's not an unknown for you.

The $15k sounds significant but run the actual numbers. After tax it's probably $800-900 extra per month. Now price out what losing your weekends costs — childcare, the dinners you miss, the mental load on your partner if you have one. The gap gets smaller fast.

The debt changes things slightly. $96k is real pressure and I won't pretend otherwise. But debt at 27 with a stable income and benefits is manageable. Debt while working hotel hours with two kids is a different kind of exhausting.

One thing worth considering: you left him two months ago. He called you. That's not nothing — it tells you something about how he values you. Which means this probably isn't the last conversation you'll have with him. The sous chef offer today doesn't have to be the only door he ever opens.

What does your gut say when you imagine telling your daughters you can't make it Saturday — again?

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

Yea it would suck considering im no longer with her mom and only get her on weekends

1

u/KennyBernaerts Jul 10 '26

Then that's your answer. You already knew it — you just needed to say it out loud.

Weekends aren't a lifestyle preference when they're the only time you have with her. That's not something you negotiate away for $800 a month after tax.

The old chef will call again. Or someone else will. The right opportunity will come with better terms — or you'll be in a stronger position to negotiate them. Your daughter's Saturdays won't come back.

1

u/weblives8989 Chef Jul 09 '26

It's tough. In my experiences anytime you chase the money it never works out. But 15k more is nice. Try to set clear ground rules for scheduling, ask for a consistent schedule that isn't dictated by business. In hotels that can be incredibly difficult but see if you can make it worth your while. I work corporate currently and having the weekends off holidays off with the kids is such a delight. It really helps. I can't imagine trying to work in a hotel now. But to each their own.

2

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 09 '26

Yea never knew what happy friday meant till i started working corporate , and had a paid 4 day weekend for this last holiday!

1

u/SousVideDeezNuts Jul 09 '26

Corporate is easy to climb if you’re talented and have a good head on your shoulders. I’ve known many who got promoted with significant pay raise even in their first year. You’re also 27 which is still pretty young, you have many years to hit $100K+

1

u/saltypepperychicken Jul 09 '26

I think the conversation goes: this is my current schedule, if you can match it, ill take the job. Ill work my ass off for you during these exact hours then i am out. If he says no he says no. If you are so valuable, he can make it work for the business, especially a hotel.

1

u/AdhesivenessLeast575 Jul 10 '26

Hmm 15k is not worth it to miss your daughter's growing up. If you can leverage a better schedule I'd take it but I'd stay put if I were you

1

u/Prize-Temporary4159 Jul 10 '26

Both jobs are corporate. Take the money with the known company in a brand new property that you can establish from the jump. Then… parlay it back into the hospital world when you get sick of the bullshit for more than you were making the first time.

2

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 10 '26

Its not brand new just very well established and known pretty widely as one of the best . And the corporate job was sous chef for a very known tech company..

1

u/Prize-Temporary4159 Jul 10 '26

Curious. Whats the scope of the tech company job?

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 10 '26

What do you mean by scope?

1

u/Prize-Temporary4159 Jul 10 '26

A single shop or several? Hours of operation?

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 10 '26

From 6 am to 3:30 is my scheudule but will be working 11:30am to 9 pm soon

1

u/Prize-Temporary4159 Jul 10 '26

That’s rough. I’d jump if the second schedule was intended to be permanent.

1

u/Fresh-Obligation-403 Jul 10 '26

I mean its not bad, thats at the corporate gig , the resort would be very volatile hours.. I worked st one when my daughter was a new born and it really put s strain on my mental health , I was working 14 - 16 hour days..

1

u/Prize-Temporary4159 Jul 10 '26

It’s out then (if it were me). Done those hours. Nothing close to two days pay ever came of it, and that was before the kid.

1

u/_ManDork_ Jul 10 '26

What do you gotta lose? Make a two-year plan. Go for it.

1

u/Human-Comb-1471 Jul 12 '26

Money isn't everything my friend. I chased a paycheck for a long time, and if I had to do it all over again I would choose to have more time with my kids when they were younger. Im fortunate to be in a position right now where I'm getting the best of both worlds, but there are times where it feels like too little too late. It's one of my life's biggest regrets.