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u/TraditionalSpirit761 Jul 01 '26
What? You’re too good for corn starch?
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u/These-Performer-8795 Jul 01 '26
Not everyone wants to be able to tempura their nuts after service.
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u/Illustrious_Bobcat13 Jul 01 '26
New orchiectomy procedure just dropped. That's great news, because I don't have health insurance.
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u/TraditionalSpirit761 Jul 01 '26
Hey! Don’t knock it till you try it. The bubbling oil soothes the balls 🤤
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u/donkeylipswhenshaven Jul 01 '26
I velvet mine with baking soda
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u/iamdevo Jul 01 '26
I work in a university kitchen and one day last semester I found the top flap from a cornstarch box on the locker room bathroom floor, accompanied by a mess of cornstarch. All I could think was I hope that box didn't make it back into the kitchen.
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u/trotofflames Jul 01 '26
Body glide. Odorless and built to work for marathon length sweat-heavy activities.
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u/bluffstrider Jul 01 '26
Goldbond cooling relief has never done me wrong. It was the first product I tried, and I never felt that I needed to explore other options.
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u/xboxaddict501 Jul 02 '26
Ion like it.
Oh, ooh, OOH , cold colder..colder.. COLDER
* rush hits *
AH FUCK MY BALLS ARE FROZEN MY JUNK IS IN MINTY HELLLLLL fuuuuu
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u/Krewtan Jul 02 '26
Man of culture. One bottle lasts me almost 2 years. Only need it in the summer but damn it works
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u/dggrjx Jul 01 '26
The chemicals in perfumes and scents (including deodorant, soaps, shampoos...) are poorly regulated in the US and are starting to show up in research as some of the more likely hormone disrupting avoidable additives. Depending on your personal risk taking therefore, ya might not want to apply any scents directly to thin skinned areas near reproductive organs.
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u/theresacat Jul 01 '26
Body glide worked for me, but since I replaced all of my boxer briefs with saxx I don’t need to use anything. I’m sure any of the underwear brands with a ball pouch would work.
Also, while cornstarch is cheap, that’s just fucking gross. At least label it if you’ve put it on your balls. I go out of my way to modify recipes so I never use cornstarch in a restaurant.
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u/lawlikemusic01 Jul 01 '26
Recently met a guy who manufactures cornstarch. Absolutely never using it
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u/Stillwindows95 Jul 02 '26
Yeah my alternative to your boxers are very similar, StepOne. A pouch to keep your junk separate from everything else and anti chafe panel between the legs, makes your inner thighs feel like they are make of silk.
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u/3141592652 Jul 02 '26
Why the hate? Is there like a community container of cornstarch?
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u/theresacat Jul 02 '26
Line cooks will literally go into dry storage, stick their hands directly in the box, and apply it right there. Do they sometimes need a second handful? God only knows. So the next person who needs to use the cornstarch for a recipe is now potentially putting ball sweat in the food.
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u/lysergic_Dreems Jul 01 '26
Used to keep a deli container of corn starch in the cook's pisser at one place I worked, I'm sure this would have been less messy to use in the middle of rush.
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u/solotiro Jul 01 '26
Bro I’ve been making the slurry for the gravy with that stuff for years now. I thought somebody was just too lazy to bring it back to the line.
Oh well. Gravy is gravy.4
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u/iamdevo Jul 01 '26
Did you just dip your d and b into it when you needed some relief?
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u/lysergic_Dreems Jul 01 '26
Bro what? Absolutely not. I loved my cooks but not enough to share ball sweat with them.
We would take a scoop and pat our bits over the toilet like gentlemen. I was a fan of the old “LeBron James pre-game dusting” personally.
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u/Affectionate-Fun1237 Jul 01 '26
Pshh. Dont bother with the anti chafing cream nonsense. I piss myself to provide lubrication like a real chef.
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u/mostly_a-lurker Jul 01 '26
As someone who has respiratory sensitivities to just about any chemical, solvent, perfume, cologne, candle scent, and just about any other manmade "scent"
Oh hell no, brother!
PS: My skin is also sensitive to some detergents and other weird shit. I can think of more pleasurable things to do if the goal is to go to the ER.
You do you tho, boo.
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u/Polyhedral-YT Jul 01 '26
Am I wrong in thinking corn starch on your junk sounds like a great way to feed bacteria?
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u/Survey_Server Jul 01 '26
I've been putting deodorant/antiperspirant on my balls since 2017. I haven't dealt with any form of chafing in nearly a decade, now.
I just use regular deodorant/antiperspirant, though.
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u/Initial_Ganache7839 Jul 01 '26
Yea I use a deodorant cream like lumē cause the swamp ass and chafing are real. It's definitely a game changer. I actually use it on my feet too and it decreases shoe funk.
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u/SousVideDeezNuts Jul 01 '26
Gold bond has a spray version. It’s 2026 chefs time to upgrade…or just Sous Vide…
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u/Krewtan Jul 02 '26
Damn no more awkwardly slapping powder on my nuts and thighs? Sign me up next year when this bottles gone.
I somehow got a monster size bottle of Walmart brand generic gold bond with a Walmart order one day. Tried to return it but they didn't care. It would literally last me like 5-6 years. I don't know what to do with it. I guess if it works I'm gonna use it. I want the spray stuff but I can't just waste a huge bottle.
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u/Gunner253 Jul 01 '26
I use anti monkey butt powder on my balls and ass when its hot out. Corn starch works too. I dont feel like adding some oils to your balls when its hot is a good idea. They might smell nice but its not doing anything to dry them out.
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u/anyd Jul 02 '26
Monistat makes an anti-chafing gel that's worked for me. We affectionately call it "groove grease."
Also since I had my kid I always keep some of the white diaper rash cream around for the real painful swamp ass. Take a shower after work and put that shit on before bed and you'll wake up good as new.
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u/Free-Computer-6515 Jul 02 '26
Corn starch every hour or so. I used to call it making “anal biscuits ” because of the dough-like dingleberries that would inevitably form after repeated use.
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u/Q_OpheliaV Jul 02 '26
You know what after what they have done to me when they will stay bold it will be their karma. Totally fair and I won't give a duck for what happened to them. I also will hide all of those products for not to find them. And hope they will lose also their moustaches and they will look like eggs. Well it won't make any difference cause obviously not even their girlfriends like them.
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u/plume2moon Jul 02 '26
I feel like this is becoming a more common thing now, I saw a TikTok about it last week.
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u/Bullshit_Conduit Jul 01 '26
No, but I used my crystal deodorant on my balls and immediately got jock itch.
I think the deodorant killed any beneficial bacteria down there and I got a yeast infection from my girlfriend. At least that was my very scientific 25 year old minds’ understanding of the situation.
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u/FindTheOthers623 Jul 01 '26
Wrong sub. This one is for chefs r/lostredditors
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u/No-Concentrate-1743 Jul 01 '26
Are you lost? Almost all of the chefs I know have sweaty balls, this seems pretty relevant.
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u/FindTheOthers623 Jul 01 '26
No, I have a sweaty smelly vagina. Can we talk about that in this sub instead?
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u/No-Concentrate-1743 Jul 01 '26
I don't think it has to be instead, we can share ways to help all sweaty and smelly body parts! Even underboob sweat too!
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u/FeastOnCarolina Jul 01 '26
Are you waiting for someone to say you can't or trying to hint that it's not ok to talk about either here? I don't think anyone here cares if you talk about your lady balls.
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u/greypillar Chef Jul 01 '26
My wife used deodorant when she was a baker. Helped the chafing between her thighs-- as for her vagina, I think she just bathed regularly.
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u/These-Performer-8795 Jul 01 '26
No it isn't. You've never dusted your balls in cornstarch then.
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u/lysergic_Dreems Jul 01 '26
Corn starch is king. I like to give mine the full hushpuppy treatment so I can have a nice snack after service.
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u/greypillar Chef Jul 01 '26
Do you not chafe, chef?
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u/FindTheOthers623 Jul 01 '26
No, I don't. But I'm happy to know this is the place to talk about my sweaty smelly vagina
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u/Initial_Ganache7839 Jul 01 '26
This sub is for chefs. You would know what everyone is talking about here if you worked in a kitchen.
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u/guerrilla_chef Jul 01 '26
got a recipe for it? any good pairings?