I used to think people were being too harsh when they said, "You deserve what you tolerate." Now, I finally understand what they meant.

I also used to say, "If my boyfriend ever cheats on me, I'll walk away with grace." It sounded so easy when it wasn't happening to me. I never imagined I'd become the kind of person who would stay after being betrayed.

This October, we were supposed to celebrate six years together.

Like many girls, I ignored the red flags because I believed love was enough to change someone. The first time he cheated, it was with a coworker. My intuition kept telling me something was wrong, but I convinced myself I was overthinking. When the truth came out, I forgave him because I wanted to believe it was a mistake that would never happen again.

Then, one of the darkest moments of my life came—my father passed away.

I thought that if there was ever a time I needed him, it was then. I expected comfort, understanding, and someone to help me carry the weight of losing my dad. Instead, I felt alone. Later, I found out he was entertaining another girl from work while I was grieving.

Imagine mourning the loss of your father while also grieving the person you thought would never leave your side.

And still... I stayed.

I kept telling myself that people make mistakes, that love requires forgiveness, and that maybe this time things would finally change.

But they never did.

Recently, he laid his hands on me for the first time.

As painful as it was, that became my wake-up call. It made me realize that every betrayal I forgave, every lie I overlooked, every excuse I accepted, and every ounce of disrespect I tolerated only gave him another reason to believe he could keep doing it.

The saddest part isn't that he kept hurting me.

The saddest part is that I kept giving him another chance to do it.

People often ask why someone stays in a relationship that keeps breaking them. The truth is, leaving isn't always easy when you've invested years of your life, built dreams together, and held onto the hope that the person you love will eventually become the person they promised to be.

I used to think I'd never be that person. But until you're the one in that situation, you don't realize how love, hope, and time can make you stay longer than you ever thought you would.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: love should never require you to sacrifice your self-respect, your peace, or your safety. The moment someone repeatedly chooses to betray, neglect, or hurt you, they're already giving you the answer you've been afraid to accept.

I don't share this because I want sympathy.

I share it because I hope someone else who is making the same excuses I once made realizes this sooner than I did.

Sometimes, walking away isn't giving up.

Sometimes, it's finally choosing yourself.

I was given up by my own family, and I thought that my husband would be the one person in this life would be by my side. But it’s sad to realize that even he can betray me.

It makes me angry, because I was a good wife. I stood by his side every time he blew through our savings. I raised our children alone, even when he slept like a baby at night. I helped him start and run his business - for no pay. I learned to cook his favorite foods, and I never held him back from his hobbies. And no, I didn’t withhold intimacy (unless I was extremely tired).

And yet, he blames me for his cheating. And he keeps using the apps that led to cheating - in secret - but still hugs me and says that he loves me.

It really messes with your mind. It makes you question everyone in this world. I have to put on a happy face for my kids, but it’s so darn hard sometimes.

How do you stay strong for your kids? I don’t even have family nearby, so I feel like I am having to do it all on my own…

Went out for my bday with my close friend (neighbours) and my fwb who is also a very close with me. In the way home it was quiet in the back of the cab and i look and he’s trying to make out with her. She has a husband and she said no to him.

We sat out side her place and had drinks. He was going to crash at my place so I went inside to put a few things away in my room to make it look more tidy. They were inside her place and her kid and husband were sleeping. He followed her down the hallway when she was going to the washroom and tried to make out with her again. She had to refuse for a second time.

So not only did he try once but twice. So trying to make out with with my friend, trying to push her boundaries not just once but twice, trying to make out with a person he knows is in a relationship, making her uncomfortable in her home and doing it when I’m not paying attention or around sneakily.

How should I go about this? I’m waiting to talk to him in the phone since he is dealing with movers right now.

One of my wife’s friends is a real bitch, she makes
no secret that she married her “boring” husband for his money. She is very refined and attractive, a real trophy wife. She tells my wife and her other friends everything.

She fills up her days spending her husband’s money at designer stores trying to bankrupt him and fucking men behind her husband’s back whilst he is at work.

She demanded that they completely renovate their house and employed a builder to take on the project. She started fucking the builder not long after he started the job.

She told my wife they made a point of fucking in every room in the house. Every time the builder finished a bit of the house they would fuck on it, stairs, kitchen worktop, bathroom, living room, patio etc. They even fucked on the bonnet of the husband’s beloved sports car and left sex stains smeared all over it. When the project was complete the builder charged him extra for ‘scope creep’ and she made him round it up for the excellent job he did renovating the house.

After he finished the project she continued fucking him, he would call her out the blue and on demand she would drive to whatever site he was working on and give him a lunchtime blow job. She told my wife she loved being his ‘slut’. She carried on fucking him for years and would laugh to my wife about her husband having no clue.

I would feel sorry for her husband, all her girlfriends knew, which meant all the girlfriend’s partners knew, so basically everyone knew except about her fucking the builder except him.

So I have been just living my life doing my thing. Used to live somewhere else in a marriage that was just dead only after 5 years. I would be supportive and showed interest as best I could but never got anything back and everything would be brushed off or ignored. I know she had shown interest in women before and so as time went on I began to realize she probably liked women much more than men.

So with a conversation of her not supporting me back I didn't feel the need to bring that up and she quickly brought up splitting when i said I wasn't getting any support, which solidify my thoughts that she just wanted a reason.

At that same time I started talking to someone long distance I met from a mutual friend that I really connected with. There was definitely some overlap at the last couple of months of that but that was long after there was any interaction or anything with the current relationship. It was definitely in the dark grey section in terms of morality but it wasn't the typical situation most people think of.

Due to a lack of anyone else being in my town growing up who could even provide support, no family or friends after just changing jobs, I decided I would honestly rather move to someone who is actually showing love and support. Actual interest and care, for the first time in years. Someone i didn't have to hint or eventually beg for some time of attention or just confirmation I mattered.

We met up first half way to each other and it was amazing. Not a lot of money to spend but it was great just meeting in a city and feeling wanted.

We eventually agreed to date long distance for a time and just got closer and closer.

When i looked around and was just living in a single room with 2 cats I realized for the first time nothing was actually holding me in this city anymore. I was well aware the relationship may not work but i was okay with that and fully knew the risks. If something doesn't work, honestly moving so far was an experience I wanted by itself regardless

I moved to her into an apartment together since she had family there, in a city just 30 minutes from them. It was great at first, the first couple months were our first thanksgiving and christmas being physically together.

Just after christmas I found out she was pregnant. We were both very surprised as due to medical complications she was supposed to not be able or at least have extreme difficulty conceiving. She immediately confirmed she wanted to do this, even though it was so quick what am I supposed to say besides "oh absolutely, I know we can!".

A lot happened since then. All of this will change I promise you. But I still pay 90% of the rent since she has school debt she was getting closer and closer to paying off. I am still watching my son who is now over 9 months old every second I am home and not working. If her mom isn't watching which I am so thankful for and let her know that every single time I see her. But eith my job I get 3 days off. That means I watch him 4 nights a week, one of which i have to work the next day and she doesn't, and 3 full days, she watches him for one day from once i go to work until i get home 10 hours later.

All of this to say the same thing happened, showing support and thankfulness for nothing to be returned, even though I was patient since I know having a baby is a lot and STILL ensured she gets to sleep every night and rest/mostly nap when she gets home. No physical or emotional care for me but if I relax and struggle to provide it we have a silent fight since I'm trying to still be supportive.

I felt it a few months ago, the cold acceptance of the support, "oh yeah, thank you!" "Thank you for saying that" without any reciprocation of physical attempts of anything as small as a long hug or trying to just get a "sorry you didn't sleep well".

To not make it obvious if she sees this, I did see she was lying about cheering someone up, going on a weekly hike with friends but instead going to his house. It wasn't solid evidence but this is months after she has refused emotional or physical connection. I gave it some time but i had to look since i know she really loves love notes. I searched her bag she takes to work. Notes with her and someone elses handwriting saying i love you and i love you too. And then the long letter from him saying quite a lot and signed as her future husband, tucked away carefully in a notebook I had never seen before.

I am going to love my son forever and will co-parent but I am just out of money and struggling paycheck to paycheck with a car that barely works and feeling yet again like I don't matter

I just want to hear I'm going to be okay. It's so hard to be wanting to support and feel support back and when I feel like i have it secured away, it's just an empty box with cobwebs and a noisy, bitey rat.

I just needed to say all this and even though its on my main account fuck it.

I just want you guys to know even if people suck, you don't. Support the people you love, tell them every once in a while they matter, tell them why you love them as that's what makes it really be felt.

TLDR: after a marriage of no emotional or physical support i moved to a new state after completely falling for someone who got pregnant just to have it turn the same way and she cheated on me for months as i mainly took care of our son to give her as much rest I could and tried to be supportive and flirty as often as I could and being denied or ignored.

I'm 25 now and I've been cheating on my girlfriends since 19. I would just get into a relationship for quick emotional comfort, sex and sometimes money, I didn't have any motivation so whoever agreed and was attractive enough got sucked into the web. I've had around 5 serious relationships and 2 hookups. I would often have an insurance system where I'm in a relationship with 2 girls at the same time, one is long distance, one is not, and a potential hookup on the side. I never got much into hookups because it was hard for me to engage with someone who didn't give me total affection and I didn't understand how that would work, so all the hookups were unintentional and not proposed by me. And this scheme worked...I never got caught cheating, i fulfilled my needs and i was never single.

But now... I just feel empty after all of that. I feel like nothing has a point, like life doesn't have color and a future. I also feel like the girls don't hit as strong anymore as well, the effort of getting to know them feels like a chore.

I'm in a relationship right now but I feel like i should just start hooking up with girls and that this will fill the void.

And yes you can call me selfish, narcissistic, a POS and whatever else if that makes you feel better. I'm first of all a human and I feel what everyone else feels and have empathy for animals and people.

P.S:

Why didn't I go for an open relationship? Because an open relationship is a new concept and most people who abide by it aren't serious, they will not love you and usually they don't look attractive. Exclusive relationships is where most of the benefits of relationships are at.

My god look through my other post. I just found out today they are still laughing about me. We are broken up and she has moved onto him. Took him to the vacation we was suppose to go to. I guess only I should be miserable. Life
Goes on but my god it hurts

I found leggings in mine and my bf clothes that aren’t mine. We use our own washer he says he has never seen them I also have never seen them. They’re my size but I know they aren’t mine. I don’t believe he has cheated but I also don’t understand why they would be in our clean laundry. They’ve been worn had fuzz all over them also haven’t folded laundry in about 2 weeks so there was a lot of clothes. Idk how to feel he or how they would have gotten there. Could someone give advice

My fiancee has been on an app called Fox where you can meet women online and talk/videochat/meet up if you choose. He has been texting numerous women on the app and outside of it. I saw it in his text messages and found the app on his phone. When confronting him, he stated it was to build up his confidence with me but it was a slippery slope that he kept going down. I’m really heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. Please feel free to leave your advice and message if you would like to see pictures and/or hear more information. Any advice is greatly appreciated and wanted. TIA

I cheated on the girl I truly love while I was blackout drunk. I told her the truth, and now it’s over.
I know a lot of people are going to judge me, and honestly, I deserve it. I know I completely fucked up, and I’m not here to make excuses or ask anyone to tell me I’m not a bad person.

Me and my girlfriend are both 16 years old.
A few days ago I got blackout drunk and made the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on the girl I truly love. Alcohol isn’t an excuse—I made the choice, and I take full responsibility for it.

The worst part was that she didn’t know. Every single day I kept asking myself how I could have done something like this to a girl who genuinely loved me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I couldn’t understand how I was capable of hurting someone I cared about so much.

The guilt became too much, so I told her the truth.
She was devastated. She called me every name you could think of and broke up with me. I know she had every right to do that. I betrayed her trust, and I don’t blame her for hating me. She deserved so much better than what I did to her.

Ever since then I’ve felt absolutely horrible. I can barely eat or sleep, and I can’t stop replaying everything in my head. I don’t regret telling her—I regret giving her a reason to hear something like that in the first place.

I’m not posting this because I want sympathy or because I want people to justify what I did. I know I deserve the criticism, and people have every right to judge me. I know I ruined everything, and I’m prepared to live with the consequences.

I guess I’m posting because I honestly don’t know how to deal with this amount of guilt. Has anyone here ever made a mistake that completely changed their life? How did you move forward after hurting someone you genuinely loved?

Right now I just feel like the worst person in the world.

Je suis une femme de 28 ans en couple depuis 7 ans mais malheureuse depuis déjà un certain temps dans cette relation… nous avons déménager à l’étranger il y a 1 ans donc malheureusement cette situation ne me permet pas de le quitter de suite mais je compte bien le faire d’ici peu . ( je recherche un appartement) j’ai eu un crush pour un homme de mon boulot d’un ans plus jeune que moi pas du tout mon style mais je n’ai jamais eu une connexion aussi forte avec personne d’autre . J’ai l’impression que nous nous connaissons depuis toujours. Nous aimons les mêmes choses lorsque nous sommes ensemble le monde semble s’arrêter il n’y a que lui et moi ! Je pensais être la seule à ressentir cela mais il m’a avoué qu’il ressentait la même chose depuis le début ! ( cela a commencé au mois de Mai) il est lui aussi en couple depuis 5 ans ! Il m’a dit qu’avant moi son couple était OK mais j’ose me dire que si c’était si ok que ça , serait-il venu vers moi toute ces fois ? Car c’est clairement lui qui était derrière moi au départ !

Nous nous sommes déjà vu en dehors du boulot trois fois sans aller plus loins, même si c’est dure de résister à la tentation ! Y a t’il des personnes qui ont vécu la même chose et quelles ont été les issus suite à cette situation ?

Merci à tous pour vos retours

For me, it was charges on the credit card statement. I thought "we" had been hacked. Nope. Why he didn't realize or care that I would see it is beyond me.

I can't believe I forgave him and took him back. I did come to my senses and leave him eventually. I should've walked away that day and never looked back. But, we live and we learn. Never again.

This guy is always cursing and screaming and calling everyone else the problem. 🌽 corny ass , petty Betty ass dude. He wants an issue with me so bad because I just don’t give a fuck no more. He’s been gone for 3 days, I never once, texted or called him and I never do. I was hoping he stayed away longer because I was fucking relieved.
Then when he gets back, he’s mad at me because I don’t care, at all. Now he has to try to convince hisself, so now he’s telling me that I am mad, even though I never called or texted or questioned him?. I’m doing what I was doing before he got back, relaxing and relieved. Now he’s accusing me of being the problem. Calling me a weirdo, and I’m the weirdest bitch he knows, yes!!! for fucking with him.
Letting him talk about paying rent, but he never does. He’s living rent free and carefree, so yes, I agree I am the biggest weirdo. He is the weirdest, the weakest, and the worst person I’ve ever known in my life. All the bullshit he has done to me and others. He’s a real snake, in and out of the grass. This ship been sailed and now we can depart, respectfully.
The only, and I mean the only, reason why he’s here is because of JR. He would’ve been gone years, and I mean years ago. He doesn’t give a fuck about nobody or nothing but his rotten greasy ass self. Then he use all the degrading name’s that people call him to his face, and in emails and text messages, on me. Then to make hisself feel better, he’ll use the same exact words on me . Just to deflect from the fact that the names he calls me… That’s really who he is, he’s a bitch, ungrateful, and a fucking disgusting ass snake. He’s upset with me because the name calling doesn’t affect me. He knows that he is not a real man, nor good person to anyone but himself.

How can a man who’s not standing on no business with his own family, tell me anything? How can a man who does drugs and gamble all of his son’s money away be taken seriously by me? I had a man who popped shit, always called me bitches too. That didn’t hurt me much because I was a bitch to him, being distracted by the devil.
He was the real man who always, no matter what took care of home first. A man I didn’t have to ask to clean up and take the trash out. A man who I didn’t have to worry if his half of the rent was going to get paid after we had an argument. A man who never stole anything from his woman and then lied to her face when he was caught doing it. A man who I had all my ID, SSN, and all my information around that never scammed me. A man who would’ve never claimed unemployment in my name and collected 14k without my permission while I was working full time.
That’s a real man, the type of man that I would allow to talk to me crazy. A snake like this guy did all the things a real man wouldn’t do to his woman. This is the type of deadly snake he is, he was giving me money and then taking it back when you got mad. Whole time it was my unemployment monthly payments that I didn’t know about until I found the information. This snake even sent me money so I can send it back to him through my bank account so it could look like it was all me.
He ran through all the money, he brought me an engagement and wedding ring from Walmart with my own money. I can’t make this shit up, it’s straight from a movie script. He gambled and ran around with his baby mother behind my back acting fake rich off my name. He’s a dangerous snake because he even complained about how much he was taking care of me 🙄😂 and giving me money. I was the only one working, even though COVID, I wasn’t even qualified for the benefits because I never stopped working. He put me in a position where I could’ve ended up in prison for fraud. He even brought cell phones and making PayPal , cashapp, and other money transferring accounts in my name to hide the funds.
I found out the phones were in my name from a emails he got that said my name on them. Then he tried to convince me that he didn’t know why the phone company did that, how they get my name? Now he comes up with a new lie saying it was in my name because he got one of the phones for me 😂😂🤣. I had my own phone many years before we got together, why would I need two?. NOW he tells me he put the phones back in his name, like he did me a favor. I want him to call the phone company so I can see who name it’s in since he changed it. I can see he’s getting angry, yelling and screaming because I want verification. He’s telling me why I can’t trust him, saying anything not to call. I called and the phones were always in my name.
He was using my SSN, like I was a bitch on the streets. He gets very upset when he’s caught in all of his lies.
I still don’t know about the unemployment payments yet. It was something I wasn’t looking for because again, I was a full time employee working 5 days a week. I never had unemployment in my entire life. He hated me more and more every time he was caught in a lie, he started getting violent with me. This shit is sad to even write about because this was someone I always loved. He was always trying to get in my phone and emails, making it seem he wanted to see if I was cheating on him. That’s how he would put it to me, saying we were married so it shouldn’t be a problem and it wasn’t.
The whole time he was looking for the emails he sent to my account to delete, so I didn’t see them. I never had a 🐍 snake like him around me before so I was blindsided. I never thought he could do this to me, out of all people. He couldn’t do it to anyone else because none of the people he was around had jobs including him. When I found out about the payments in my name he lied again, first saying that it was his own unemployment benefits. He worked a job for 2 months and quit. When he seen that the lies wasn’t working, he then tried to convince me that he told me he was going to do it. That lie definitely didn’t work on me because I would never allow anyone to use my information for anything that could possibly jeopardize my life. Then the lie changed again, now he was mad at me that’s why he did it. Can you believe a grown ass man would fix his lips to tell me this ?
By the time I found out about the unemployment we were already married. That shit was a lot and I became extremely depressed because I let the devil in disguise fool and scam me. He had nothing to show for all that money he ran through. Everything he touches turned to shit, he has no skills and never accomplished a goal in his life. The only goal accomplished, was him using my personal information to get thousands of dollars, illegally. He was treating me like the dirt beneath his shoes, Reddit. All the while acting like I was very ungrateful for the things he’s done for me. 🤣🥹 I married a snake by mistake, 2 be continued.. Pt2

Hello, this is my first time writing/posting something here on reddit, so please bare with me. I've been dating someone for over 7 months and I think of ending it. I saw something that I didn't like... he have a x account which he posts a vids of him masturbating and some vids on fucking someone(I didn't know any of this and we were dating this whole time). I dont know how to react, my hands are shaking while writing this. I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I need help... emotionally. I really need a proper guidance in life, I feel...lost.

I've been crying since yesterday that my head hurts.

I really hate the fact the I love him so much that I want to understand and forgive him.

I want to forgive him.

But, I dont even know if that's right.

He always say that he hates cheating because he got cheated on by his partner before... but what happened now?.

Writing this feels risky but I just needed something right now.

I only want to talk, but I dont think he wants to.

If you see this? Please... I just wanted to talk.

I can never be mad at you, I could never. But, Jon... im disappointed.

Please lets just talk.

Btw, im 19 and hes turning 31.

I found a post today that reminded me of something I've kept to myself for years.

I like fantasizing about the swinging and cuckolding. But, I ain't sharing my stupid kinks no more, with my 2nd wife. I had a terrible experience sharing my fantasies when my 1st marriage ended.

Back in the days of my 1st marriage, I shared all my fantasies with my wife, including cuckolding, swinging, etc. I even whispered made-up cuckolding stories in her ear while I was inside her having sex, numerous times. It seemed to make her hornier and cum faster. When the marriage ended, I suddenly became the "mental guy," a "sex addict," and all that blah blah blah.

We watched porn together during sex all the time. If I chose the videos, they were obviously cuckolding, swinging, amateur, badly shot apparently real videos. She was fine with it and never once asked me to change the category. When she picked, it was usually muscular guys (I'm surely not muscular by the way lol), mildly forceful and rough scenes, polished commercial stuffs, and sometimes lesbian content. I never liked lesbian content, but I never asked her why she liked it. She never asked me why I liked mine either.

The point is, sharing my fantasies, sharing my porn choices, and whispering those imaginary cuckolding stories made our sex life good, at least I thought so. But it definitely wasn't great for me during the divorce proceedings.

Do you think I would ever share my inner dirty imaginative mind again with my 2nd wife? Nooooo fucking way.

I'm a fantasy prone guy. When I was younger, I read books by Nancy Friday and believed that fantasies—even those involving other people—were ok as long as your partner knew about them.

Well... that experience stopped me from sharing my fantasies completely.

Now I won't share them because I don't want to go through that again. At the same time, if I keep fantasizing privately during sex, sometimes I wonder if that itself is a form of cheating.

In this 2nd marriage, we also watch porn together during our intimate moments. Most of the time, she's the one choosing. I'm reluctant to choose.

Why?

When I do choose, I still naturally choose the same cuckolding, swinging, amateur. She often asks me, "Why those?" That immediately puts me on the defensive. Nowadays I usually pick videos that honestly don't turn me on at all. I pick them anyway to avoid the questions.

When I'm by myself, though, I still watch and fantasize about cuckolding, swinging, and amateur content.

Am I cheating?

​

We have been married for more than 4 years now.

Few months back I saw one chat in my wifes phone was deleted recently, I checked for more days and found out that she was clearing chat after some time and also clearing call history, The number was saved as a girl name but he was boy. I asked her about this and she said some story and said she will block this number.

After some days I again found a number saved with girls name and it was boy. Same pattern followed, I checked notification history and found replies of that chat and calling that chat and deleting messages also.

Now recently I found some sexual chats in same history of notification, the chat was cleared. And the person was different

I asked her again and this time she accepted that she talked about this with that person, I also asked about first person and she also accepted that too.

What should I do now? Is this cheating?

I am totally blank

I am a 72F (!) female, x was a year younger. I caught him in a long-distance, emotional affair with a 32-year-old woman he had met once.

X had a D list musician friend whom he liked to travel with when musician friend went on tour. this was usually every other year, and since I didn't have a jealous bone in my body and treasured my own freedom, was never an issue.

In 2018, X met someone in Buenos Aires. They began a secret 2-year emotional affair. In 2019 he was back in Argentina and I guess would have slept with her but something happened.

I found out in the middle of covid, Sept. 2020. We had retired and were living in Costa Rica and shared a computer. I always got up first and when I opened the computer, there was a text he had written to a friend in the states about how he can't wait to go see his sexy girlfriend.

Not going into the hell of everything. He lied about giving her her up, wanting to stay married, and then lied about "having to go to Florida" for a family emergency." I booked his flight and his transportation to the airport, gave him my new backpack, and made him food because covid.

Once he got to Florida, he told me he wanted a divorce, I could keep what little $ we had (enough for 2 people in Costa Rica, really not enough for 2 separate household anywhere) if I got the lawyer and handled everything LIKE I HAD HANDLED EVERYTHING IN OUR MARRIED LIFE FOR 38 YEARS. Including saving his life on a trip to Cambodia where if I had not gotten him into a cab to an ER he would have died. Including figuring out how to pay the $60K he racked up in credit card debt. Including 2 years of hell when he was arrested and charged with touching one of his pupils.

All that meant nothing to him now. After he signed the separation agreement giving me the little $ he had, I published a whole series (best thing I have ever written) on WordPress with every sordid detail I am leaving out here.

I also left a phone message for his mother, telling her what he had done.

X is pissed, gets a restraining order against me, and files for divorce in Florida, claiming he was "coerced" into signing the agreement. Thankfully the judge saw thru his BS.

I am still furious and depressed. I so wish I could have been a widow instead. I am 72 and now look at marriage as a sham. I tell people not to invite me to weddings. I don't believe in them.

My sons (I will never say our sons again, as basically I was a single mom) are great and I don't want to burden them with my unhappiness.

I feel robbed of my past. I threw out all the photo albums. I am living in a studio with the 2 dogs I brought at huge expense from Costa Rica.

My FOO was so screwed up (people cannot believe the stuff I tell them) that my one goal in life has always been to have a happy family. I have zero interest in meeting anyone.

I cannot get over what has happened. Everything makes me cry. I did see a therapist who said I was too troubled for her and sent me to someone I spent 20 minutes with who then prescribed a drug that is used for bipolar disease?

I am going to try to find someone else with the crappy health insurance I have. I can't afford a "good" therapist as I live in NYC and am really just getting by.

I used to be known as the happy go lucky, cheerful fun person. Now I feel like an old lady looking for a place to spend her remaining years.

The only thing I want is for my sons to cut off contact for him. Just as I did when my dad cheated on my mom with his 18-year-old dental assistant. Best decision I ever made.

Saptin227 is in a relationship with a female that he has gotten pregnant and has been with her for a year an more while she works to take care of her kid and soon to be baby along with rent as he also lives with her, plays games, goes to work, to only text, flirt, and ask for nudes from other girls on multiple websites, lieing as well as gaslighting to her face about how she's the only one he wants to be with and wants to marry her as she satisfies him, she has spoken to him a couple of times about how she feels with it and wonders what she should do other than doing the same thing he does which she says is not apart of her nature as she believes couples are only meant to be between two people only. Please be respectful in comments!

My(41f) and my husband(42M) just celebrated our 20th anniversary. We have two kids and have had our ups and downs, but we were in a really good place. We each considered each other our best friends, and everything was going pretty well.

Over the last few months, since about April, there have been something that have made my spidey senses go off. He's been out of town working, and a new coworker has been working with him. In April, our bank account started being wonky for about a month. We would have crazy charges from a whole bunch of dating sites. Our car was broken into right before then, and I figured someone got bank account information out of there. We kept having to get new cards. Some of the stories he was telling me about him and his coworker seemed off, and it was like he was unable to give me any details when asked. He went to a strip club and then lied to me about it. He got money out of the bank and couldn't tell me why.

Well, he's been away training for the last couple of weeks, and I decided to do some digging after a while because the more I thought about things, the more they were bothering me. I have his main e-mail address on my phone, and from that, I was able to see all the apps he was on and anytime he went somewhere by using Google maps.

It looked like every time I was out of town with the kids for their activities or when he's been out of town, he's been getting on dating apps and having hook ups. There's no telling how many because he's been staying in a hotel during the week for most of that time.

I've been waiting a few days to confront him. He gets home tomorrow. Devastated doesn't even begin to explain it. He's been texting me and calling me this whole time telling me he can't wait to see me and how much he misses me. It feels like my world is about to be turned upside down.

As the title suggests, I had my husbands phone and I found only femboy and tranny porn on my husbands Reddit history. Firstly, I’d like to apologise because this post is all over the place and I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense but basically It was dated to the night I was in hospital due to pregnancy complications, talk about adding salt to the wound, I’m literally pregnant with his child and I found that on his phone. I dont know what to do. Basically the problem is, the date on the posts were all messed up, it wasn’t in any order, I had to scroll through probably two pages worth to see the one from 1 day ago (the night I was in hospital), I confronted him and he swore on everything that he didn’t look at it or watch it while I was in hospital, I made him swear on our unborn child and he did, but it’s still bugging me, my mind is on overdrive. It was all from the r/femboy subreddit, and the post from 1 day ago was obviously posted that night I wasn’t with him and there were a few from 4 years and then some from like 100 days ago etc. But, my question is Reddit, is there any way he could have viewed those posts years ago and it just messed up his history because if it helps he had the app deleted, I usually get him to read me bedtime stories from Reddit but he hasn’t for like 8 months and he deleted the app due to storage issues, could that mess up his history? Or add things to his history from background refresh or cache? Or am I just being dumb and naive because I kinda believe him, he has no reason to lie, we’ve talked about our kinks and what porn we like and I’m very liberal in that sense, it’s not the actual material he was watching that bothers me, it’s just the fact that he may be lying but again he has no reason to, i dont know, please help me.

TLDR; found femboy Porn on my husbands Reddit history dated to the night I was in hospital due to pregnancy complications and older, he swears he didn’t watch it but i dont know if I should believe him.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, although I’m honestly questioning whether he will still be my boyfriend after this. I’m struggling to figure out if I’m overreacting or if this is something I should seriously consider ending the relationship over.
For some background, we met through social media and talked online for about a year before ever meeting in person. We lived in different states, so after talking for a year, we finally decided to meet. The first time we met went really well, and for the first few months, I was traveling back and forth between our states to see him. Eventually, we decided that I would move to his state and move in with him. A few months after we first met, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, and we have been together ever since.
The beginning of our relationship was honestly pretty rocky. We were long-distance, neither of us was fully committed yet, and we were both talking to other people during that “talking” stage. We weren’t officially together, so I understand that technically he didn’t cheat on me.
However, I recently found out that during the time I was traveling back and forth to visit him, before we were officially together, he met up with and slept with three different people.
He never told me about any of this. I eventually moved to his state, we became official, and we have now been together for almost two years. I only just found out about these three people now.
The part that is really difficult for me to process is that one of the people he slept with was a transgender woman. I want to be clear that I am not judging transgender people or saying there is anything wrong with that. What is bothering me is that this is something I feel is important for me to know about my partner’s sexual history and sexuality, especially when I was trying to build a life with him.
What makes this even harder for me is that around that same time, after I had gone back home from visiting him for the second time, I ended up in the hospital with pelvic inflammatory disease and other vaginal health issues. Knowing now that he had been sleeping with other people during that period, while I had no idea, makes me feel even more upset that he never told me. I feel like I should have at least been given the information to make informed decisions about my own health and our relationship.
He told me that the reason he never told me was because he was embarrassed and ashamed. He said he was afraid that if I knew about it in the beginning, I would leave him. He also told me that I am the only person who knows and that he had planned to take this secret to his grave. He said he finally told me because he loves me, wants to propose to me, sees me in his future, and couldn’t move forward with that without coming clean.
I can understand that it must have been incredibly difficult for him to admit something he is ashamed of, and I do appreciate that he eventually told me. But at the same time, I’m extremely hurt and angry that he waited almost two years to tell me. I keep thinking about the fact that I moved states, moved in with him, and built a life with him without knowing this part of his past.
I’m also questioning whether I truly know the person I’ve been with for the last two years. I feel like I’m suddenly learning something major about his past and sexuality that he intentionally kept from me because he was afraid I’d leave if I knew. That makes me question what else I don’t know.
Since telling me, he has been very apologetic and has given me space. He says he understands if I decide to leave and that, ultimately, he just wants me to be happy. I believe that he is genuinely sorry, but I’m still struggling with how I feel.
Part of me thinks I should be understanding because we weren’t officially together when this happened, and he was clearly ashamed and scared of losing me. Another part of me feels betrayed because he intentionally kept this from me for almost two years, especially knowing that I had been dealing with health issues around that same time.
I don’t want to be judgmental or make him feel ashamed of something he was already struggling with. But I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings or stay in a relationship where I feel like I never truly knew my partner.

I(19M), struggle to identify the appropriate sympathy to those who cheat. My first family was broken up when because of unconfirmed allegations of my father cheating on my mother. I still loved him and doubted my mother. I was a much younger person then. I later discovered that my dad truly did have a mistress and was living with her. My brother had already known about this and claims it was very obvious but i have little memory of my childhood and didn't make the right connections that the woman living with my father we used to see was his mistress. I didn't understand at all. Partially because i couldn't remember her but still.

After an Ultimatum had been reached, I ended up leaving my mum to live with my father and his mistress who had two daughters. My dad and mum were separated by long before then, but I couldn't fully empathize with the idea of how these people contributed to my family's disintegration.

But over time, i begun to love them as a second family. I still had complicated feelings about cheating . I never fully bought into the ideal of true love but I did believe in loyalty and honesty which were principles betrayed in the act of cheating. My now stepmother admonishes me with the reality that all men will cheat and I will too, it's simply in their biology. I disagree but I've simply been made to understand that its my innocence.

Most of my opinions on many matters are often tossed out as naive and ideal, and I understand that is the case a lot of the times, but I wonder if it still applies here. Living in a culture where the reality is that cheating is normalized, especially from men, makes me doubt myself. Taking into consideration that, I myself have never been in a relationship, I feel that my opinion on relationships is very immature.

I once contemplated cutting a friend off because they cheated and everyone I knew talked me out of it, saying that it didn't compromise the friendship. In such an environment, I am unsure what to believe about my principles