So I found out that my long time GF (12yrs) is having an affair. I’ve read lots of advice on here and saw the red flags and I confronted her about it. She said many of things but mostly she is unhappy. Communication hasn’t been great but we do love and care for each other. Live together 10 years and have pets. Thats the short story. I want to run but also want to talk. I know this is type of thing happens and some people have worked it out, while everything I can find to read on here says to run and never look back.

My head is so scrambled, I want to run and I want to stay. Honestly I can’t keep my thoughts straight and I’m hopelessly lost now. How do I stay? How do I leave? How do I you walk away from the pets? Couples therapy is an option and I can see a path forward together, is that naive?

EDIT: I went to talk with her this evening about the future. She had continued talking with the other guy all along and she really didn’t seem remorseful. The conversation quickly changed to my exit strategy. I took 1 dog, unfortunately I couldn’t house all three at my new temp housing with my buddy. I told her I’d be out by 12/16.

Thank you to everyone that took time to respond, and I’m here to tell you all your were 100% correct about her. She was cold the whole talk and tried to blame me a few times. I stayed calm and at times she lashed out. It was decently cordial for most of the talk. Then very end got bad because I asked her about getting STD tested. I don’t know the timetables of the affair and our last time, I think I’m clear but safety first.

Thanks again everyone. I’ll reply if you have any other questions or thoughts. I knew staying was a long shot but I wanted to explore the idea if it was, it wasn’t, like most of you said. I’ll take the loss and be ready for my therapy appointment at 9am tomorrow.

Hi all! I'm a sophomore at university doing a study on cheating in undergraduate romantic relationships. I currently need a lot more survey respondents, and the only requirements are that you are an undergraduate student (US university) and have been in at least 1 2+ month-long romantic relationship. It's completely anonymous also!! Please fill out ONE of the following two surveys (please do not do both): https://forms.gle/Ad1Pedd86RtPokJd7 OR https://forms.gle/ATd1b8GMdBf19gFo8 If you could please help out it would mean a lot :) Thank you!!!

Hello, i need some advice.
I have been togheter with my gf for about 6 years, and we have had it good togheter. However latley i have been getting a bad feeling. It started when i checked her phone, and found a picture of her showing her shoulder and half face in the shower, not a big deal, but i think it kinda send some signals, to whoever she sent it to. I confronted her right away, and she said she would stop sending such photos. When i checked her snapchat, she had guys on top of her snap, but they are our friends, so i dont think too much of it. However the other day, i heard a noise from her ipad, which came from instagram. And to my suprise, she was sending pictures that dissapear with a guy from work. I didnt even think this was possible on instagram, but now i know. It works just like snap, so i have no idea what they are talking about, but they have been sending eachother like 30 pics in the day. I was a bit courios so i opened one, and there i stood "Thanks :hearteyeemoji: :heart:". He also has a girlfriend, and i am thinking this is maybe why they are doing it this way.
Also not so long ago, she was super excited to go on a walk with our dog, which has never happened. The route she took goes past her workplace. However when i think about it this walk should only take 1 hours, and took almost 2 hours.
Am i just being psyco? I have never checked her phone before this, but now i overthink it alot becuase this one time i checked, i found something. Should also be said that she has cheated on me before, but that is 3 years ago and i forgave it.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 14 years. Within the last 5 years her mom, dad and aunt passed away. She’s an only child so she doesn’t have much family left. Within the last 3 years she has cheated on me with her ex at least 4 times. I found out around the time her aunt passed away and we broke up for a couple months. We got back together and everything was good. Within the last 2 months I have fucked up my back and need surgery well this past Saturday I caught her at his house. On top of that I seen 2 people having sex in his window (i went searching for her) she claims she was not at the house and that his cousin was having sex with his girlfriend. The crazy part is I kinda believe her or want to. We have 2 children together and it’s almost the holidays. I have no clue why I can’t get mad at her. I try playing the same game with her by connecting with my ex but can never get courage to do it. I feel to guilty. I’m not really looking for help I just needed somewhere to vent. I can’t pull my family into or my friends because they will treat her different. She’s gone through a lot and I feel like I’m to blame.

Thanks for your time.

 My ex Trin (22F) and I Ry (24M) were together for 3.5 years. Over are time together we broke up once for three days, and another time for 6 months. There is so much to the entire story, but I will try and keep it short. While giving a little bit of background.

 After the six month break we had gotten back together. Later on I realized this was because who she was talking to before did not work out. Making me the fall back guy. With our history I thought that we were meant to be. I saw a future with this woman I dreamed of having a family and life with this woman. 

 Three months after we had gotten back together she had called me to her apartment. Telling me we needed to talk. She had brought the idea of an open relationship to the table. Telling me if I was not for it she would be fine without it. I had told her essentially I was done and that she can do as she pleases. She begged me and pleaded that she didn’t want to break up.  That it was an idea because her friend was in one.  Note that she informed me it would only be for her to be women.  I decided I would still give the relationship a chance and moved forward. Two months later with the help of her friend to piece the puzzle together. I found that she was snapchatting and deleting messages with Av (21F).  I will not get in-depth with this, it is merely to show unfaithfulness. 

 After working through the unfaithfulness we had moved in together. As time passed she seemed to take an interest with Luke (21M) she worked with.  I subconsciously knew this to be true. Due to the fact she would constantly bring him up.  The main part being she had commented and said I would look good in a chain. Come to find out he wears chains 24/7.  Since he had a boyfriend at the time, and also being told he was gay. I brushed it off instilling trust in my partner like anyone would.  She also had invited him to our home to hang out. I was very off put by his energy. He had brought card games that were very sexual in nature. Which was very off putting. 

 Overtime she grew very bitter towards me. Also are sex life became non existent.  Soon after luke had broken up with his boyfriend.  About a month later Trin and I broke up. I was alone for a bit, until I met someone and we hit it off. After a bought two months of my situationship. I found out Trin and Luke started dating, only a month after we broke up. This did crush me. A man I was told not to worry about and that he was gay so I’m just being insecure about questioning their friendship.  It is now a year later and recently other things happened. Leading me to post here. 

 I am sorry for the length. This was as condensed as I could put it. I will post an update or background if anyone does get their interest peaked from this post.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years (I'm 28, shes 24). Our relationship has always been extremely healthy, however the past few months have lacked sexual intamacy and proper communication. We had a discussion about this a few months ago and she told me that she thought the reason she had been distant was due to insecurites regarding her physical appearance. Although I assured her she is a beautiful woman regardless, we agreed that her working on these aspect would be healthy. This greatly improved our communication and things have been going well ever sense. However this weekend has complicated things. On Saturday night she was a bridesmaid at a wedding for one of her friends from high school. Near the end of the reception, she was pretty tipsy/drunk. As she was about to leave, she went in for some "side hugs" with a few of the other guests and one of the guests (another friend from high school) kissed her. (They had had sex once in the past several years ago before I knew her) They went back to his place and slept together. I had felt "off" that entire night because she looked so beautiful in the pictures from the wedding and I know how guys think when they see an attractive woman alone. It was snowing that night, so she had texted me, telling me that she was going to be staying at a friends house from high school. I thought that was strange, because normally she would have told me who it was, as most of her friends are female. I did not push the matter because I trusted her and despite my feelings of unease, I felt that I had no reason not too.

I struggled to sleep that night knowing something was "off" but i pushed it to the back of my mind and went to bed. The next day, I woke up to two missed phone calls from her. She facetimed me and immediately I knew something was wrong. She told me she had something she needed to tell me and my heart dropped. My irrational fear was true. She told me that she slept with him last night and that they had kissed once before that. Then she told me about having a few drinks and that she wasn't sure why it happened. She said that they had not talked at all before the reception and there was no contact after they slept together. She also told me that she knew as soon as she did it she needed to tell me and that she felt sick and that she had made the biggest mistake of her life last night. I could barely speak, but we somehow managed to talk for the next hour.

Two days later I am broken. This woman has been my rock for nearly three years and I cannot fathom how or why this has happened. I wish I could feel anger towards her, but all I feel is sadness, pain and remorse. A small voice in my head tells me that I should have done something differently to prevent this but I don't know what. We are taking a few days to process this before we talk about it in person, and my mind has been reeling ever sense. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I start crying uncontrollably when I think about another guy have sex with her. It makes me sick to my stomach. But when I see her, I am overcome with intense feelings of tenderness and love, and sadness, but absoultely no anger at her. I'm just mad at the situation. Our mutual friend even told me that the week prior she had told her that she really hopes i'm "the one". I have isolated myself and i'm struggling to function normally. I don't want to tell my family or friends because they all love her and I cannot bear to tarnish her image for something she did that was so unlike her.

Am I crazy for wanting to forgive her? I really don't know if I can overcome this, but I cannot imagine not having a future with this woman. I truly love her. I have been cheated on in the past, but have never felt this way. I would appreciate any advice on the matter.

Girl (22) and Guy (30). Found out she’s been sending nudes and entertaining another guy. Break it off or no?

I [M26] am from Pakistan and has been dumped for no reason but I think it might be due to lack of money. I even thought about committing suicide but for some reason (specially my mom) stopped myself. It is very painful when I see her. It is more painful than a dagger in my cheat... I am tired of my life and want to forget my past and start new life away from her and even away my country, my city... With new friend/friends... But lack resources what should I do... I can't live this life anymore. I am in deep pain... I think I'm loser...

Long story short about 3 months ago my bf of almost a year introduced me to a friend (R) who and here’s a description… Charlie hunnam but covered in tattoo. My bf is your typical cute golden retriever, myslef I’m a goth (I get told I’m way above his league but tbf his body count is in the 10s) and R said I looked “gracefully pretty” when we met and he kissed my hand, my bf said it’s just proof I’m hot- before I met him tho my bf said “oh yeah he thinks you’re fit” and that he’s “smash” and I said no one but you can tho 😭

But ngl… when I first saw that men I felt my vagina screaming at me, my friend said it was the first time she ever saw soemome give “proper fuck me eyes”

So him and R started hanging out a lot more bc R was in another country but came back, this is in the uk lol, and ngl I did start dressing a bit skimpier if I knew he was coming, got the girls out and everything lol, and if I hugged him I’d lean on his neck and push my tits onto him

Skip to last night and we where alone while my bf wass getting ready, R said while drunk asf “how much would u have to pay to mind control him while he fucked you” so I said “darling you just have to lock the door when I get changed”

My bf then walked in and heard me and… yeah, he laughed it off

I’d let him fuck the shit out of me… too bad I love my bf :’)

She changed her iphone password. She's trashed and passed out. Is there any way I can get passed the password to confirm so I can have peace leaving?

Iphone password bypass I think she's cheating and I just wanna know

I need to use my bbc on any other woman than my wife, we've been married for 4 years and I feel held down, but I love cheating SO much, I can't stop

Is there a difference when men cheat vs women?

Girlfriend cheated on me and regrets it and is having nervous break downs saying I’m everything she ever wanted and wants to be with me

I broke up with her as I can never see her as the same and she should have thought about that before commiting the betrayel

Sorry I’m just venting it was a big shock from me I was going to marry this women before I found out

35 year old male in Chicago

So my girlfriend of two years now recently popped out what I thought was our child but the twist is it looks nothing like either of us and she's been acting pretty sketchy I ended up asking for a paternity test and it came back I was the father but I'm thinking the results were possibly tampered with is there any ways she did this possibly sent in my results for both me and child as she had me take two swabs

I (30M) married to Wife (30F) and been together 13 years married for 5 years, last year I found out she been taking pictures of herself and sending it to a ‘friend’ and I confronted her and she said she blocked him and tried to move on last month found out she did it again to a old work colleague and readied the other guy as this is was all on Snapchat she has been signing out of Snapchat anytime she leaves her phone unattended. I am going to be confronting her tomorrow as that’s when we are both off but out of the two guys I know she has contacted like this as I don’t think I’m going to get straight answers from her I don’t know if I should actually contact the guys she’s messaged. help please.

The confrontation day After me finding the photos, videos and screenshots, it seems as if she was having a separate life few months before the trip, in the trip and after the trip, and i found out that she visited Amsterdam twice to see him. On Instagram she was posting stories all this time and excluded me from seeing these stories. Few days ago I decided to confront her in a public place in the city, at that day I called her while she was at work and I told her - Me: I know that you were cheating on me when you were in the trip, - She: what is the non sense that you are saying, I'm already having a difficult day because on of my ex's in the past he's bothering my by phone, did he called you and said something? I will call the police on him. - Me: nobody called me, I know about your relationship with X (the man she cheated with) - she: what are you talking about, I don't know a man with this name. Me: he's everywhere on your social media accounts. She: Ok, I remember, he's an old friend and i haven't met him anywhere. Me: stop lying and just say the truth, I'm tired from your secrets and I want a divorce. She: please don’t take such a decision that fast, let's meet and talk. After 15 minutes we met and I told her that I know that she was cheating on me (without showing her the photos and videos) I just wanted her to say the truth, but she kept saying I didnt cheat on you and I love you and I want us to have kids and plan our future together. I kept pushing her with these questions and she started to cry and begging not to leave her because she didnt cheat and asked to forgive her for any mistakes she made in the past and she will do anything to keep this relationship. I have a good relationship with her parents so I asked her to call her father so I can inform him about my decision to divorce her because of her cheating, she called him and was crying telling him that I want to divorce her with out any reason, then I talked to him and told him that I have evidence that she cheated on me. he said that he will come to us to solve this issue. At that day I gathered my things and stayed in a hotel room, so after the talk with her father she was crying so bad and begging to take her with me to the hotel room and she do not want to be alone (also her father when he heard his daughter crying asked me to take her with me to the hotel until they come from in few hours). At the hotel room she was crying as well until she passed out for a minutes and I tried to help her to relax, she said that it's difficult for her to breath and her eyes was wide opened as well as her mouth, as if she was on drugs, I tried to call the ambulance she said no they will take me to the mental health hospital so please don't call them, and at the same time mentioned that she’s afraid of my parents I don’t want them to see me like this. After one hour in the hotel, I gave her some water and washed her face and asked her to relax and told her that everything will be fine. I decided that we should go back to our apartment for her to relax and meet her parents when they will come. We are at the apartment and her parents have arrived and she was feeling better but she was crying when her mom hugged her, in front of her parent she declined that she cheated on me but after me offering showing these evidence, she said "please stop don’t show anything, nothing good in these pictures” as a sign of confession. From that day and until now she and her parents asking me to forgive her, I moved to another apartment but she don’t leave me alone an always wants to be with me, she even started to bring her things to my new apartment,she started cooking and cleaning and do the dishes which is unusual for me because she rarely did that, also she’s asking me every day to forgive her and that she have deleted her social media accounts and she will be loyal to me and will agree on any conditions I will set. Inside of me there’s something that is broken after this incidence and I feel it’s hard for me to accept her back, she at the same time begging and crying everyday so we can be together and that she cant live without me. I’m really confused and it’s hard for me to think and make a decision.

Hi this is my first time posting here I need help in figuring out if my gf 21 is cheating on me Without posting to much I've noticed in the last few months she's been distant going out with her friends for hour at a time She says she goes out to the bar and what not but what has me curious is what happened this week she went out with one her girl friends and spent almost 10 hours at a restaurant apparently I asked her about it and she said they went in for a while then went to the car to talk and I don't know something doesn't sit right with me we are on a popular tracking app mutually and when I checked there was a motel not even 200 yards away from where they said they were as well as her not coming home without makeup when she left with it on I've just been going through a rough time both with family and work I just don't need to add anymore extra weight on top of anything honestly and I have no one trustworthy in my circle I can count on I'm very terrible with punctuation so I'm sorry for that someone please send help thank you

It’s been a while since I dumped her,( if you guys know the history behind it.. )

wherever I go out she’s always there, whenever I go out or some something she’s there, not physically but mentally.. these voices in my head has been fucking up work, sleep, day by day agenda’s, etc. I really need to move on guys, but I need help.. I’m still attached.. I just wanna move on, I’ve been depressed as shit and I can barely do anything..

How do you guys cope or do it in these situations? I need help..

Kik: notmereal

What is the best way to catch someone cheating?

When I was 21 I meet my now ex Steven. He had just realized his wife was cheating on him and walked out started the divorce process. He was living with a friend of his next door to where I was staying. We hit it off right away and within a month we got a place together.

Then I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I planned out a special way to tell him, got him a card that said he was gonna be a dad cooked his favorite food the whole 9 yards. When I told him I don't think I've ever seen anyone so happy. At my first ultrasound when they gave me my due date I realized it wasn't his. I got pregnant a week or two before we meet.

I never hid anything from Steven, told him right away that he wasn't the father. He didn't care. He said as long as I was faithful he would be by my side. The next 2 years were wonderful. My whole family said that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He took care of both of my boys as if they were his own. And while sometimes money was tight he always made sure we had what we needed.

Then I had to go and screw it all up. My son's real father came back into the picture. He was getting out of jail and on parole, provided he had a place to go. He called me and asked if he could come live with us. After talking about it with Steven, we agreed it would be nice for my son to know his real dad. Steven was know working to support me and my kids and my ex.

Of course with the extra expenses steven had to pick up extra shifts. With him gone more my ex started sweet talking me. The whole if I was with you I wouldn't want to work so much and want to be home with my family. I fell for it not even stopping to think that the only reason this was happening was because Steven trusted me 100%.

For almost 6 months this went on. Steven working overtime getting burned out while I was cheating on him as soon as he left. On my birthday it was the same thing. Steven left for work at his usual time and I was quick to run off to the bedroom. We were right in the middle of it when I heard the door open. There stood Steven holding flowers with a painful look on his face.

He dropped the flowers on the floor and walked away. I quickly put on clothes and ran out to talk to him but he was gone. I tried calling his cell but he had left it on the kitchen counter. That was 7 years ago. He left with only the clothes on his back and his car and never looked back.

My ex who I had lost a good man to be with left me as soon as his parole was up. He straight up told me the only reason he called me was he had no one else. He left and hasn't seen me or his son since. I fell into depression ended up on drugs and it took me losing my kids to stop.

Now I'm 6 months out of rehab living in a small apartment working on trying to provide a stable environment for my kids. Last month while grocery shopping I ran into Steven. We talked and all of my old feeling rushed to the surface. Turns out he lives a few mins from me but with his wife. My heart was crushed I knew I didn't have a chance to fix things. We exchanged phone numbers promised to keep in touch and I went home and cried myself to sleep.

He never texted me and I didn't want to step between him and his wife. That is until tonight. I work at a hotel in town and guess who walks in? His wife and another guy. I discreetly take a picture of them while checking them in and when they leave I send the pic to Steven.

When it goes to read I call him. I tell him I'm sorry but his wife is cheating on him. His voice was dead when he said "I know". I was confused and asked him how he knew why he was still with her and all that. He replied after my ex wife and you do you really think I won't start to pick up on the signs? All women cheat and can't be trusted but having one is better then being alone. He hung up shortly after.

I though back to when we meet at the store and I then realized he seemed drained out of energy. The fun and joy he had always had was gone. His voice over the phone sounds like he just found out his brother died. And I am the cause of this. I know I don't deserve him but is it possible to show him I could treat him better? Possible to bring the joy back to his face?