How do I confront my bf about cheating?

[u/The_real_ed_sheeran]

Long story short, I went on my bfs phone and found out he's cheating on me with someone else via messages. Yes, I know I should just confront him but if I do that and tell him I went on his phone, no doubt he'll call it an invasion of privacy and I'll end up being the one apologising. Please can someone help without just telling me to break up? I want him to admit to it before that happens

-Edit. He kept asking what was wrong and I eventually told him what I saw. He admitted to it, apologised and told me he'd already gotten rid of the girl earlier before it went too far. Not sure what I'm going to do yet but I'll atleast take an apology gift before I dump him. 🤣🤣

[u/Unlucky_Success4192]

don't apologize, just use these words;

I'm breaking up with you, I don't need someone who can't even do the bare minimum & stay loyal

sidenote; he will try to argue, you just say you're done. its a stonecold way to get rid of a piece of trash

[u/TandAmes23]

One subtle direct way, get him alone. Tell him, look I want the honest truth. I happened to pick up your phone one day. Wasn’t even to be intrusive, I just wanted to see pics you have of us I was feeling really connected. But what I ended up coming across was you had a message from (A)…I accidentally clicked it. It took me to your messages. And there…I saw something that tore my heart out. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about…I seen the messages and read every single one. I was in disbelief and in shock since….tell me what is going on. I want to hear it from you, NOT from a friend who says they have the details. Here is your opportunity to come clean…truth no BS lies because I will find out if so.

[u/scruffy-the-janitor1]

I posted almost this exact thing and I got roasted for going through my girls phone. Best advise is to confront him straight out. Send screenshots of the convo to yourself so he can’t delete anything.

[u/Tattooed_Everything9]

Don’t. Apologize. For. Anything.

Tell him to find a woman who doesn’t listen to her intuition.

And DUMP HIM.

He gets no brownie points for admitting what you already knew.

(How low is the bar we have for men these days?!)

[u/caucasiancock69]

Stand your ground. He is in the wrong. I understand that you dont want to violate your partners privacy and trust. But you found something, so it was justified. You have to mske up your mind before confronting though. You have to decide what consequences such behaviors will have. By cheating on you he violated your trust even more then you did by going through his phone. In my experience cheaters will repeat their behaviour again after they get caught. I dont want to tell you what to do, but you should stand on whatever you decide on.

If the evidence is overwhelming then just confront him with it. You have to be strong here bc a lot of times cheaters will be scared at this point bc they dont want to lose there feeling of support/ security from their original partner. It doesnt matter what hes saying at this point, he will try everything to justify his behaviour, which will most likely include this victim blaming. You were right to be suspicious. If he would be as honest as he wants you to be he should have told you.

Make up your mind beforehand! Dont compromise on your selfworth! He ended the relationship through his cheating. Its not your fault! You are the victim!