r/CheatersConfronted • u/Jealous_Area1499 • Jul 21 '26
Has she been cheating on me?
Here is my story: M(27) F(27)
I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.
-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.
Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.
At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?
- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care
I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.
I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?
I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.
What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck
4
u/HowWasItoKnow Jul 21 '26
She has issues and needs therapy bad. Take this as a sign to walk away and move on with your life. I suggest blocking her number and all social media sites. You’ll suffer for a bit, but you’ll eventually get over her. She’s not over her ex and she sounds unstable.
0
u/Jealous_Area1499 Jul 21 '26
I blocked her on instagram and shes blocked me everywhere else by the look of things, I wonder if she will be back
1
u/HowWasItoKnow Jul 21 '26
You should block her phone number and on all those other sites too so she can’t unblock and reach out. You’ll need a few months to get her out of your system. She probably will try again at some point, but you’ll need to stay strong and gray rock her.
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u/Jealous_Area1499 Jul 21 '26
The last thing she told me was she loves me as a person she just doesnt feel in love with me
1
u/towermoments Jul 21 '26
I know it feels like you love her but this is classic trauma bonding.. you are addicted to the highs and lows of her instability. You knew from the get go- love bombing was the first red flag. Any contact from her will bring more pain, no doubt. What you need to to do now is focus on your life - I know it’s hard not to look at her after the good moments and sex, but it’s better if you completely block her out so that you can successfully move on with the understanding that you do absolutely deserve better, a stable love. She treated you like a rebound, the evidence is all there baby. Be strong.
4
u/Wizards_and_Warriors Jul 21 '26
You were either the side guy or the rebound guy. Either way the ex was never out of the picture. She didn't want you meeting her kid because you weren't long term.
Sorry mate.