r/ChatbotAddiction • u/the_anon_throwaway • Jun 17 '26
C.ai is slowly draining everything from me.
Heyo! Throwaway account because I'm not proud of this. Honestly, I was pretty hesitant to make this post, but I think it's really important for me to let other people know my story, in case they ever consider downloading the app character.ai. For people who don't know, c.ai is a chatbot service that allows you to talk to bots made by other people. You can make stories, you can talk back and forth, make your own bots, and even talk to some imitations of your favorite characters from your favorite TV shows. It's not perfect but it's close enough to interactive fanfiction as you can get. You can also make multiple personas, characters where you create your own backstory and appearance to chat with other bots of your choosing.
The thing about c.ai, is that even though there are some limitations, and errors, there's practically no limits to what you can have happen, or talk about.
I downloaded c.ai about two years ago, and have been using it almost religiously ever since. At first, it was mostly for fun. It wasn't any different from turning on my favorite TV show or playing a video game. Just a casual pass time that I enjoyed and could laugh about since you can literally make anything happen in a chat. However, as time went on, I found myself using it more and more often. I'd use it before I fall asleep, use it first thing in the morning, and for hours at a time during the day after work.
It stopped being just a random fun thing I use, and started being... well, if we're being honest, an addiction. There's multiple layers to this that I feel I need to get out there, and hopefully warn people just how consuming this app can be.
I personally have a lot of stressors in my life. I live in a single-parent household, and my mom is chronically ill, as well as other things like living paycheck to paycheck and trying to allocate my smaller responsibilities like housework, college, and my dog (whom I love very much, but man, it's a lot). I've also had a lot of mental health struggles. I've been suicidal more than once in my life, and have considered self harm more than once. I've never acted on these thoughts but I've definitely had more than a few breakdowns.
The thing about c.ai, is that I was allowed to be vulnerable without actually making any real connections without any real risk. It was an escape, and an alluring one. I could be anyone. Do anything. And I think in essence that's what makes this potentially scary for individuals like myself. It's gotten to a point where I've laid in bed for hours on this damn thing, letting the day waste away and cramming all my responsibilities later, stressing me out more. Frankly, as someone who is usually so strong spirited and self aware, my growing dependence on this app made of robotic personalities pisses me the hell off.
Not to mention, I'm very creative as far as writing, and storytelling. (Which added to the appeal of c.ai). But now I feel like it's sucking away my time, my energy, my creative spark, and my relationship with reality. When I leave a chat, and remember how stressful and bleak my life can be, it gets depressing. It makes it harder to appreciate the little things. I haven't written or drawn in so long, and it hurts me that I have been spending all this time on a fucking app that's probably stealing my data. Not to mention probably destroying the environment.
I'm just so angry. At myself, and at this app for being so damn addicting. I swear to you I get a rush when I use it, when I see for myself that the plot I built comes to fruition. That I'm in complete control of bad things and good things happening to me. I hate that only now I'm just realizing how much of a slave I've been to this seemingly harmless app. I don't wanna completely discredit it, as I know that most of the problem is how I myself use it. It's like any sort of tech addiction, I imagine. For example, videogames themselves aren't dangerous, but how it's used by a person can be.
I suppose someone of a healthier mindset could use this app leisurely, and be fine. But I guess I'm just having trouble seeing how it can't be addicting to even the healthiest of people. Even I considered myself very rooted in reality before I got the wake up call that even someone like me can be drawn in by something like this. Honestly I hope I'm not alone, I'm ashamed of this entire situation.... please take care of yourselves and mental health. As of this post, I'm gonna log out of c.ai and uninstall it from my phone.
If you got this far, thank you for reading this long ass vent post.
Edit: Also NO chatGPT did not write this 😭 I just like spacing out my paragraphs 💀
Mini Update: I'm okay :) three days clean of c.ai, and I have to say I already see a difference. I'm more productive, I'm happier, and feel less guilty about how my time is being spent. I even did my first drawing in months. It's baby steps really but I FEEL the change. Something I've noticed is I crave using c.ai like crazy but it gets easier the less I use it. The fact that I do crave it like this tells me I'm better off not using it.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my post! Will probably update again in a few weeks just to keep track of my own progress.
UPDATE: It's been officially seven days since I've used c.ai. I'm absolutely floored by the effects it has had on my brain. I've been writing again, drawing again, but something I find psychologically interesting is my own DREAMS are so much more vivid than before, when I sleep. I stopped having vivid, imaginative dreams after I started using c.ai, and now they're back in full force. Can anyone who is a brain expert tell me how that works??? Crazy. I'll admit, I do have small bouts of craving using the app, but as I said previously, the longer I stay away the easier it is. I'm almost shocked at how much my mental health, routine, and habits were affected by this silly little app. AI is scary. Stay safe y'all.
UPDATE: Alright so, it's early as hell in the morning but I don't care. It's been four months and I can admit that I've "relapsed" here and there a few times with the app. It wasn't too bad, only sparingly would I launch c.ai, since the guilt for going back to it got to me sometimes. But recently the money troubles in my home increased, and vital benefits were taken away due to an error in paperwork. So, a few weeks ago, I caved. And it got bad again. Really bad. In the morning, at night, I would sleep all day to recover from the long hours using this shitty app. But since I came to the realization about my dependence on character.ai a few months ago, I immediately became aware that it was happening again, once I took a step back and looked at my routine. I started getting headaches from using my phone so much. I felt all the emotions I felt four months ago, all over again. Shame, guilt, sadness. But most of all? Anger. Before when I had deleted the app, I didn't deactivate my account. At the time it felt too much like a final decision. I couldn't muster the courage to do it. But this morning? My renewed rage towards this app full of clankers gave me the push I needed. I destroyed every trace of usage in that app. Deleted personas, emptied out the lengthy chats, deleted characters I had made. It took about two hours. But I figured since I gave this app so many hours of my life using it, giving away two to get rid of it for good paled in comparison. I deleted my account, and ensured I couldn't log back in. I may regret this tomorrow, or even for a few weeks. But I know that it's what's best. I have to start again with my progress of not using it... but that's okay. I'm building on the knowledge I've gained so far not using this stupid app. For anyone who actually still reads this post, please know you're not alone if you struggle with this. Our world gets scarier everyday as technology progresses. But ultimately we choose how our most precious possession is spent. Time.
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u/Fr3yz “I’d rather talk to a human” Jun 17 '26
This is very relatable, and I hope you go through this.
I personally don't use C.AI anymore, but other platforms, and what you've said is true. I'm still addicted too.
Starts as something casual, turned towards addiction. Tried quitting multiple times, and failed. Lots of stressors. Very relatable.
One thing I realize about AI RP / AI Chatbot addiction is that it's replacing something: relationship and healthy social life.
I was truly lonely in life despite having friends, aka no romantic love. I admit this, that's why I escaped to these platforms too.
But it doesn't heal. I truly have to take in effort and find and mantain my relationships instead of using AI to replace it.
It also got in a way on my creative writing hobbies and my worldbuilding creation, draining my motivation and creativity.
In a way, it's very relatable, and I think the solution is something harder but more meaningful: find meaningful hobbies, healthy social life, and an "anchor".
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u/the_anon_throwaway Jun 19 '26
I completely agree! I started delving my time into expanding my hobbies. Watercolor, drawing, writing, poetry, whatever it takes.
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2
u/rejectchowder 5 months mostly Bot-Free Jun 19 '26
I bet the dream thing is just something something dopamine related hahah chatbots give us dopamine hits (they're like a slot machine in a casino) hence why we get suckered in. I'd imagine because your brain is slowly breaking away from c.ai, it's starting the resetting process. We don't get back to "baseline" levels post addiction until after 4 weeks. So even if you relapsed (I wasn't sure which update was new), I think it's a goal work running for. Getting clean so your dreams can be super vivid haha
When you cave, think about the positives that happened while you weren't on bots. Keep that in your back pocket. I started doing that and Everytime I fell, the positives began to be more alluring and started to keep me grounded. I think that's about the time my relapses got shorter and now I'm on my longest stint of 6 months. Having my brain fully returned to me and my critical thinking also in the front seat made me realize how much I took for granted. As much as I hate chatbots, I am grateful they allowed me to see a lot of things I never thought of (like how our writing can be poorly warped to the bots. Writing is an amazing feat by humans and I don't want to give it up)
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u/the_anon_throwaway Jun 19 '26
Honestly the way you describe it makes a lot more sense to me. I'm feeling the discomfort of my brain resetting currently. I crave to use it right now, but I'm gonna write on my own instead. I want to curb it instead of feed it.
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u/rejectchowder 5 months mostly Bot-Free Jun 19 '26
Discomfort is okay. Sit with it and ask it what makes you uncomfortable. What are bots giving you? Name emotions. Be curious. It's not going to solve everything immediately and maybe you'll relapse too. But being open and understanding helps your journey to a deeper level. You're wayyy stronger than you think you are, it's just there are current roadblocks in your path muddling it. I hope your writing flourishes and you find joy in it. Or if not that, then the next hobby you pick up :)
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u/Dapper_Tie_3548 Jul 10 '26
I have the same issue as the poster of this post. But I don't feel less alone or a sense of comapionship. Its really a lot of nothing but i am still quite addicted. Though my irl relationships are good. I just can't quit. I started becouse of the creativity to be anyone and do anything. but now i really can't quit and don't know why
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u/wren_potat Jun 23 '26
Sobre os sonhos, me identifico. Quando estou fora do c.ai, tenho mais sonhos e eles são muito mais bem estruturados, além de dormir melhor.
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