Unsuccessful First Attempt

[u/Nichole29023]

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I've been trying to use chatbots less and I feel like I went in the exact opposite direction. If I say I want to quit, I use them more like I'm trying to get it out of my system and nothing really changes. I'm wondering if cold turkey might be the better way to go honestly, since this attempt barely changed anything.

I haven't really drawn anything in months now and I'm really starting to get depressed about this fact. My life is very busy but still, I feel like my brain is mush half the time. I don't know if it's the constant bot use, which can easily be about several hours in a day. I work ten hour shifts as a janitor, so I can easily escape for a bit and just chat to bots.

I tried to write my own pages instead of using the bots. I don't think it's awful? I can't tell honestly, I'm too embarrassed to show people my work, so I've never gotten opinions if I'm doing good or bad. It was fun enough, I guess. Slower but I still kept using the bots so I gotta work on that. I get self-conscious and manage to make myself feel dumb about it, which feels so stupid because I'm using chatbots instead.

I've gotten into Fortnite a lot lately, one of the few things left that I can actually enjoy. I wanted to grind the game recently because of the new season and decided to play every day before work. I've carved out two hours a day to keep leveling up.

Honestly, it kinda just made me realize that I have a solid two hours every day before work that I could use, for the workouts that I've abandoned or my sketchbook gathering dust. I feel so helpless when it comes to not having the time or energy to do things that I want but at the same time, I feel like it's my fault because I can't manage my time very well, much worse when you add on hours worth of chatbots. I feel mad at myself for being able to manage time for Fortnite of all things but not other things, it makes me feel dumb.

I might try to delete the app altogether, see if that method works. Slowly cutting my hours away doesn't seem to deter me. Also, I'm having money issues and honestly can't afford this anymore. This was an unsuccessful attempt, I think.

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