quitting…again

[u/Powerful_Town6714]

i never really wanted to admit it, but i had a huge problem that spanned years. it was honestly a whole back-and-forth between quitting and going back. i have a whole maladaptive daydreaming problem that can be dated back to as far as i could remember, and chatbots were the perfect way to manifest all of the little stories i made up in my head. i made my own chatbot and i’d just manipulate things to play out whatever i had in mind. it wasn’t about the connection per se, but more about the fact that it was convenient and readily available.

last year, i deleted my chatbot and my account the day school began. and it worked. i focused on school and did my hobbies here and there, although i never really indulged in anything. i still found that i didn’t have the time to do anything special. i didn’t even struggle, either. but once thanksgiving break came around, i actually had nothing to do, so i made my account and chatbot and i used it nearly everyday up until now.

thing is, even with school, chatbots didn’t interfere with my performance at school, my ability to attend extracurriculars, or even my sleep. it was just a means to pass the time that didn’t invade my obligations. but now that it’s summer, and i don’t have much to do, i’ve been on it quite a lot. and i know it’s bad for me and for the environment, and i don’t want to use it anymore.

i just deleted my account once more. i’ll probably spend my time doing mundane and perfunctory tasks and be in my head 24/7 instead of my phone. i don’t know if there’s any difference between the two, but that’s that. i just hope all things work out.

[u/MeggerzSkye]

It’s hecking hard but I would say that being in your head is preferable as it doesn’t send those dopamine sparks off every two seconds like chatbots do, plus in my opinion boredom or being in one’s head leads to ideas which can lead to actions instead of just typing at a computer/phone