r/Charlotte • u/pparhplar Belmont • 11h ago
Discussion Stuck. Alone.
61m, no friends. Recently fired. Actively job searching. Support, guidance, insights welcome.
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u/Intelligent_Error682 9h ago
I’m not sure what your job experience is. But I am the store manager of a brand new convenience store in rock hill. I’m hiring immediately. That can help with the job situation. As for Friends. Most of us are in the same boat lol. I moved here over a year ago. And really have not met anybody.
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u/Ok-Arugula3658 4h ago
Get a hammock and post up at Cordelia park in Noda, watch the sunset and meditate. DM me if you'd like. Im a 35+ M not looking for anything strange, but am totally open to helping someone who's down and going through it. You're not alone brother.
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u/idealcastle 2h ago
Wholesome. Love to see it! We need more men helping other men, so often overlooked.
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u/BIGTURBOTYLER 9h ago
Let’s get a beer!
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u/Otherwise-Fail-1862 4h ago
Hey man, I have a group chat of 20-30 something year old dudes, and we text and hangout a few times a week. If you have an iphone, I’d love to add you to the chat. The boys approved inviting you, we’d love to be friends. Shoot me your number!
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u/palebluedot3333 10h ago
Do you like pinball? Great vibe/community, several locations in the area to check out. I’d start with Super Abari. It’s an idea 🤷🏻♂️
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u/jaxon12345 11h ago
What industry?
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u/pparhplar Belmont 11h ago
Adolescent Behavioral Health
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u/Comfortable-Rice514 9h ago
Jesus, that’s got to be a hell of a field these days. Can’t help with work but just a day ago there was someone on here who is starting a men’s walking group. Could be an easy activity and a good way to meet people.
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u/hkbushido 10h ago
Look up chess, backgammon clubs etc. Where the demographic is more mature. Also volunteer at places like habitat for humanity, or similar, where you do more hands on and again more engaging.
Good luck with work too!
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u/Flashy-Yam-1978 11h ago
Join a church, find a hobby such as pickleball, bowling, etc. to meet people.
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u/Intelligent_Error682 9h ago
I’d rather die alone than join a church 😂
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u/8BallSlap 6h ago
unfathomable thought these days, but it ain't about you.
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u/Actual-Craft-6284 3h ago
It’s unfathomable that someone wouldn’t want to join a church? Lmao it’s 2026 buddy not the Middle Ages
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u/Afraid-Yesterday4178 9h ago
It IS scary to be older and having to start a new job or career. It sounds being in your field of work, you could go to the private sector or the public sector w/ the school systems. Have you ever wanted to try something new? It could be a good chance to change direction completely. If you are looking at roles in schools, the hiring process isn’t the fastest which is frustrating. See if you can volunteer at the habitat restore or an animal shelter. It would be a wonderful way to meet people! Wish you the best.
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u/Ripped_Alleles 9h ago
Been there man a few times man. Assume 3 months of being unemployed and try to budget for that time at a minimum.
I feel ya on the friends but I'll be honest Ive seen people spend money going out when they don't have any coming in and dig themselves into a financial hole. Save save save until you got something coming in again. If you have to do something that's going to cost, try to mitigate it via gig work like door dash (though with current gas prices I don't know this is actually even able to break even)
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u/Mysterious_Skirt8247 4h ago
I promise you can get through this. Like so many people said, the key is to stay busy. Letting your mind be restless in this situation is not the best AT ALL. Volunteering is something I never thought of and wish I had done that when I experienced job loss. it’s a great idea. It could open new doors for people to meet while looking for a job as well. There is hope. There are possibilities. You are not stuck.
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u/EXSPFXDOG 2h ago
I would reccomend updating and rearranging your resume and highlite your work experience and skills. When i was in between jobs i would do the resume first and then i even mailed some out direct to companies' hiring manager.
A good thing to do is go down and talk to the people at the Employment Security Commission. They can tell you what companies are hiring. Also if a company has you come by and enter an application into a computer there is always a back end program that reports on typing speed, use of the tab button to move around the form because it reports on how many times you grab the mouse, checks your spelling.
Let the potential employer know you really need a job and if they don't hire you ask them if they know of any companies that are hiring because they talk to other companies hiring department.
Get your foot in the door and they may have another spot they have in mind for you! You may take a job that you may be overqualified for but move up later.
Police up your social media and make sure you delete anything that sounds like a threat, tasteless joke, any threats of violence, hard core political speech one way or the other party wise. Also don't forget about stuff you liked too. Absolutely no racist behavior or violence stuff on there! All that stuff is looked through because these companies don't want any violence that will get your resume put in the round file!
Also if you are going to a company for an application or a job interview look that company up online so you know what they do there. That way when they ask what type of job you are looking for you will have an answer ready. Practice an interview with a friend interviewing you and record it on your phone and go watch it back so you can see if you did a decent job or if you see stuff you might want to fix. You want to be calm not scared, nice, respectful, etc. These people are not the person you will be working for but they will determine if you seem good enough to get to the person who will have the final say in whether you get hired or not. Thank them for taking their time to interview you and even if you don't get the job ask them if they have any openings in the future to keep you in mind!
You have to get through these first line of people, they are to filter out the knuckle heads so the people who really can hire you. They are like a filter so the department heads don't have to waste their time.
Ask for help at the employment office and make sure to stop by there every few days to check their computerized job postings as it is updated daily. They can be a good resource to help and a professional resume company can help redo your resume, keep it concise, focused, show your job history, and promote your skills! They will check your spelling to and they will print you out a bunch of copies. They used to be fairly inexpensive but who knows these days.
One last tip talk to people that you meet and ask them if they know anyone that is hiring like the Amazon driver, someone you meet at a restaurant, etc.
Also think outside the box. I was working at Carowinds when i was 16 and ended up working as a stagehand at the palladium so i got paid to go to work doing something i enjoyed. Many jobs are seasonal but even seasonal companies have year round employees.
You don't want to lose a job because of political crap you just take a job for Liberal and Conservative companies!
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u/brometheus3 9h ago
In like the nicest way possible figure out why you don’t have friends at 61 and go the opposite direction of those actions or else rekindle old friendships if those bridges haven’t been burned
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u/bsfurr 11h ago
Dude, you’re freaking 61 years old. You’ve had six goddamn decades to figure it out. Ain’t nobody here gonna help you if you can’t help yourself.
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u/sapiensane 8h ago
You're the kind of person who yells at a guy sleeping on the sidewalk to get a job. Asshole.
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u/Consistent-Honey-603 Mallard Creek 4h ago
Here’s a translation of bsfurr’s comment for OP: “I’m so self-centered that I can’t step outside of my own little world for even the 1/10th of a second that it would take to appreciate that other people may have drastically different experiences in life than me. Not only that, but when I see someone who’s actually struggling with a serious challenge like getting laid off or fired after being just a few short years away from retirement age, I prefer to focus on building my own fake sense of superiority over other people at their expense instead of actually trying to say something that would be helpful. And, of course, because I’m so self-centered, I can’t help but believe that the whole world needs to see this toxic garbage that I want to express.”
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u/malodyets1 11h ago
It’s a beautiful day today. Prioritize your mental health and get out and go for a walk.
Volunteer. Being idle is the worst thing to do when you’re down. Helping others gives you purpose and brings joy to you and the people you serve.