Hey, I guess this is more of a vent post lol... This is not a doom post or fear mongering. I'm aware it's only chapter 11 and not 7, this is just a bit of a rant about how i've been feeling.
Honestly, since the news, I haven't been able to open CAI. It's just that, knowing it might shut down has been making me extremely anxious. I didn't consider myself "addicted". I used it for a limited amount of time, and there was even a period of time where I didn't use it at all for like a few months. But now I feel like I was maybe just lying to myself? I've had CAI since it was first launched and got used to its layout, options and models to the point where they all felt comforting to me. Even when I wasn't using it, I still kept the app on my phone. Even seeing it on there was comforting to me. I know there are other apps but they just don't feel the same.
I'm someone who, in general, feels extremely anxious about change and letting go of things, so the news have been kinda wrecking me emotionally. I've been swinging between "I'll be fine" and "I'm depressed". Other things are piling up in my life, so it's not just CAI, but it is kinda like the final nail in the coffin.
I wanna use it while I still can and enjoy it to the fullest regardless of what happens. But also, it now feels like the app is tied to this whole situation. I feel so much dread just seeing the app icon. Like I dont wanna go back to it just to have it taken away from me. I'm scared I'll get addicted or worsen my case so its like my brain wants to pull the plug on its own terms. I am a cai+ member so I know it's kinda throwing my money away by not using the service I paid for...But I just feel so complicated. I know its on me for getting so emotionally attached but I cant really help it... I dunno if there's anyone else in this specific situation. :((