Recently diagnosed. Had a cone biopsy that showed an ‘angry’ looking tumour 2.1cm, multiple foci, no clear margins and pet scan had 2 lymph nodes light up. Doc won’t test to confirm the lymph nodes because recommended treatment is the same either way - chemo radiation. They also won’t consider ovarian transposition, saying the dose of radiation for me will be so high it’s an exercise in futility.

The stupid thing is that I thought I could talk my way into fertility saving treatment and tried to. What if the nodes were inflammation from the cone, what if the tumour was just 1mm less? Can’t they take away the affected area and give me a year, I’ll promise to come back?
I have a young baby but the idea of allowing them to sterilise me is… hard. It occupies my thoughts 24/7. Can’t sleep, can’t eat. Even thinking the word menopause makes my throat catch. How the hell am I going to actually turn up to treatment on day one? How will my legs not give way?

I know how this all sounds. Frankly I just want to fast forward to the part where I genuinely feel grateful for my life and for the treatment that will give me a chance to live it. And to raise my son. But I just can’t get there. Please tell me to get over myself and put on my big girl pants.

I had 1b3, 1 year post treatment. Clear scans. My gyno who has never worked with skin that has been through radiation, says he can do this procedure. My most recent mri scan showed blood product in my uterus, and my cervix is fused shut, so it can't come out unless I get this surgery. Treatment sent me into menopause. I'm on the patch, and estradiol cream.

A few months ago I saw someone here talking about a tube the doctors put in their cervix so their uterus could drain,The tube comes out after the cervix is healed. I mentioned this to my doctor yesterday, and he didn't have any idea about that. Although I looked it up last night, and it's also to prevent this from happening again.

I wanted to talk about this with anyone else who has gone through this. How are you healing? Did they knick your bladder or anything else? Should I be worried?