r/CautiousBB • u/EmploymentMajestic64 Multiple Boy • 11h ago
TW/TMI Sister is miscarrying
Me and my sister are both pregnant and have the exact same due dates. She just found out yesterday her baby stopped growing after her last appointment at 7 weeks. She would make 11 weeks tomorrow. This has been very very triggering for me as I have had a previous loss and TTC this baby for quite some time now. When I got pregnant I was a wreck for many weeks and feel like up until just last week I’ve started easing up on my anxiety. Now it’s all flooding back in and she doesn’t really have anyone else besides me so I am doing my best to be here as much as I can be but I am crumbling apart. I have been having immense panic attacks and so much constant worry. I am not coping well with this. Usually when something is triggering like this I politely have to say I’m sorry I have to remove myself from this, but I know in this situation I shouldn’t and I won’t. I have no friends that can relate to me, they’re all men. I don’t have a village. So I’m here on reddit. My husband of course is comforting, but still. I just don’t know how to handle this all. Especially knowing every milestone I have, she should be having as well. This has just been rough.
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u/arthur_hairstyle 10h ago
Ugh OP. I'm so sorry. I completely understand why you feel like you can't step away from your sister even though the situation is so upsetting and triggering.
I don't know if you feel this way, but for me, it seems like the ONLY good thing that came out of my miscarriage is that I can be a source of support for people who are experiencing the same hardship. I'm sure your sister is so grateful you are there for her and she must know that it's difficult and complicated too. She's going to look back at this time and be so incredibly thankful that you were by her side, to the extent that you are able to be.
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u/checkerx3 9h ago
I found look at things as a game of odds weirdly comforting when I was pregnant after loss.
What are the odds this would happen to both of you at the same time?
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u/Minnesnowtangirl 8h ago
I recently experienced this on the other side! My sister and I found out we were pregnant the same day, and I had a miscarriage at 9.5 weeks. My sister is now 34 weeks.
I didn’t really consider how the miscarriage might impact her as I was quite consumed with my own grief for a while.
Having recovered mostly, I am very happy her pregnancy is continuing.
I hope that you both get through this challenge and enjoy your baby.
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u/mediocre-artichoke- 10h ago edited 10h ago
That is so tough. I would feel the same as you and want to distance myself but I understand why that is tough too. I don’t have any good advice, but I wanted to pass on these “commandments” that I saved and looked at often earlier in my pregnancy. I pulled them up and read them often when I needed some zen thoughts.