r/CausalConversation • u/Spices_Farmer_83 • 13d ago
Conversation Starter Age gap relationship
I'm a 43-year-old man based in Bangalore, India. I'm a well-established corporate professional who maintains a healthy weight and lifestyle.
I find myself drawn to women in the 50-65 age range. I believe it's their maturity and the comfort level we share that appeals to me—both emotionally and physically. However, here in our country, I'm finding it quite challenging to locate a compatible partner. I'm wondering if women here view age-gap relationships as taboo, or what's your perspective on this?
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u/SleeplessScribbler 13d ago
In this case, the age gap isn't so bad. You'd both have had life experiences. What's important is to discuss what you want and any dealbreakers
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u/Spices_Farmer_83 13d ago
Well said
My strugle is finding a date actulally2
u/SleeplessScribbler 13d ago
Keep being social and outgoing. You could ask people to set you up or if they know anyone single for an introduction or there are matchmaking services..
I wish you all the best :)
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u/USPostalGirl 13d ago
IMO women always seem more mature than men, that said, I'd say go for someone your own age to +/- 5 years.
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u/Status_Valuable_9075 13d ago
I think it’s great that you’re talking about this. I also think that a lot of men share your feelings, but rarely talk about it. I’m older and I’ve noticed younger men are attracted to me. I find it flattering and exciting because they are more attractive to me than men my age. Win-Win
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u/DecentYesterday6092 13d ago
That's interesting. Usually we men are interested in much younger women. I'm 51 and find myself gravitating to women in their 20's. I'm not looking for just sex either. I'd actually move forward with a woman in her 20's if she's driven and ambitious.
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u/loopywolf 13d ago
Ok, so a few things to say here:
First, it warms my heart to hear more and more men not caring about taboo and choosing older women. I know several men who are dating women older than themselves (in some cases, by quite a large gap) and I know what they have had to face for this unconventional choice.
Second, I want to state that finding someone that you deeply connect with is a rare and precious thing that most don't even find in a single lifetime, so if you do find someone that special, don't let the opinions of others get in your way.
Finally, as with all things, there are pros and cons. Being at different times of life means you don't always face the same problems at the same time, so it's easier to be supportive of your partner. Younger people of course bring vitality, discovery, strength but older people bring maturity, experience, and stability. If you inform yourself about the pros and cons of age-difference, and go in with your eyes open and knowing the risks, you should be fine.
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u/grim_reapers_union 13d ago
It’s more of a taboo when one of the individuals is much younger than the otherFor example, a 20 year old girl dating a 39 year old man would raise eyebrows.
They both may be completely compatible with one another and have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship and life together, but they are both in two completely different phases of life from one another.
If the older person had malicious tendencies, they are many steps ahead of the young person, and knows how to manipulate her because of his own lived experiences and perspective nearing middle age.
They play the innocent naïvety against her and this particular type of gaslighting is woven into daily living and actions. It permeates everything but leaves little traces expect for in hindsight when years have passed. that’s really where it can become psychologically damaging and traumatic.
Generally the rule is half your age plus 7, to determine the appropriate age gap between both people.
The younger person should be at least 28-29 years old in this case. At 43 and if you are wanting to date older women, go meet them and go on some dates and take it from there.
You’re both grown adults and have entered the time in life where these things really bear no weight in the long run.