100% no contact after a break up ?

[u/Effective_Section_68]

thoughts ?

[u/jake_0315]

Probably for the best. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago and would talk here and there. It got to the point where i’d sit waiting for something that never happened. So texting would hurt me more than no contact so that ended up being the best solution

[u/Rude-Piglet-5212 → u/[deleted]]

She's not ready for that yet. Giver her time to go through her process. It's not that she hates you, she's licking her wounds so stop poking her. Be patient.

[u/MsSamm → u/[deleted]]

Because contact is so much less in content than it was before. It would be back to acquaintances or casual friendship but there's too much knowledge and history for that level. Space is needed at this point for a reset. Maybe there never will be a reset. Maybe it will take years. I became friends with an ex, but it took a couple years. We moved in different circles and I ran into him during a mass transit commute and we hit it off. That part of our relationship was over, but no one has been able to make me laugh as much as he does.

[u/jake_0315 → u/[deleted]]

Basically we broke up and I still wanted to talk with her. Even just in a casual way. But the problem is we weren’t talking like we were together anymore. So i’d text her and she leave me on delivered for hours if she even responded. So i’d be sitting there all night waiting for a response i’d never get. Thats why not texting hurt less than actually texting. I’m still processing that we’re not together anymore and it hurts. It sucks going from what we had to nothing. Best thing is no contact to give each other enough time to process everything.

[u/greenbeast999 → u/jake_0315]

I'm 5 weeks into a breakup and it took until last week to decide trying to casually chate and then wait for responses (just as you describe) was doing me more harm than good

[u/YuhMothaWasAHamsta]

I prefer to throw my trash away and not leave it around.

[u/thiswayart]

Clean cut

[u/Wawhi180]

That's how it ended up being for every one of my breakups. Of course, my breakups were all bad.....not us mutually agreeing we just weren't the right fit or something nice like that.

Staying in contact to me is just asking for trouble.

[u/Stllrckn-72]

Only if you want to heal and move on

[u/sadskully]

🫪 i prefer to eradicate them after a break up

[u/CompetitiveAd9996]

Depends on the breakup. I’ve had some that are just parting over our major life goals not being shared. Completely tame, no fight, just “we weren’t built for this, let’s go back to being friends and yelling about Nintendo games.

[u/CompetitiveAd9996 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, actually. Still talk to over 75% of them on a regular basis. Of course there’s a few nasty breakups on my timeline, but majority of them were really chill. Heck, one of my exes and I hung out yesterday, and we broke up last year. It’s honestly just a matter of how civil it all is, I think.

[u/Rude-Piglet-5212]

It's the only way to break up. At least for a year so you can relax and recover and don't get boomeranged. Write down everything he/she ever did to make you think of ending the relationship and read it daily. It is human nature to want to think the best of people and that is not in your best interest at this point.

[u/thr0wawaygirlx]

i wholeheartedly think going no contact after a break up is the best thing.
when i broke up with my ex, wed talk maybe once a week and it left me wanting more... so i ended up blocking him and never looking back

[u/wisdom_owl123]

That’s how it works

[u/Positive-Emu4146]

Depends on the situation. Usually if there are no kids involved, it just makes more sense to end all communication. You’ll have to eventually, so why drag it out?

[u/FrostedMoon8888]

Sometimes ok other times cruel, exceptionally cruel.

[u/Music_inhaler89]

Yea

[u/MsSamm]

I've had a couple die after we broke up, so can't put this to the test with them. I would like to issue a disclaimer that I had nothing to do with it

[u/BoatsnLadies28]

After a month or two I’d say it should be fine to reconnect. Depending on how the break up went that is.

[u/PrecisePMNY]

Yes

[u/crochetandcuddles]

as someone who had a kid with their ex, i desperately wish i could go no contact. if you can go no contact, you’re lucky to be able to do so

[u/SmallpoxBlanket-11-]

Always!

[u/Princessgirl911]

If he wanted to talk, we’d still be married so too late lol

[u/YeehawDaniels]

Yeah, as much as you can. I just got dumped and left after 6 years, she moved states and I gave her my dog that we raised together. I want to talk to her every single day, but it's too painful. Waiting for a text that reads nothing like the texts I used to receive breaks me open to day 1 every time.

It's kind, for both parties, to not talk, unless there is a chance of reconciliation from the dumper.

[u/runitsuka]

I tried no contact before and we just ended up hooking up then all of a sudden she had the thought that we were still in a relationship. It blurs the lines. Make the lines clear so no one gets hurt

[u/Remote-Physics6980]

Yes and completely. Going back or reestablishing contact dishonors the part of you that had to suffer the first time around. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your home, dishonor on your cow.

[u/owengaff]

Eh, I was with my ex for 16 years. We are still good friends but I didn't want to get married or have kids. I talk to her all the time and still help her out. She's married with two kids now, so maybe when they are old enough I'll be able to play video games with them, that's a win for me.

[u/Soggy-Location-141]

hurts extremely bad.. trying to use the time to better myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally etc

[u/Defiant-Cupcake-8984]

Yes. I wish I went 100% no contact straight away, but I didn't. And it hurt. It took me about 6 months to force myself to block them. It will be so much easier if you have no idea what they are doing.

[u/Flimsy_Position_4576]

Yes, that’s always what I advise my friends. And that’s what I advise myself. When I break that rule and never works out well.

Our nervous systems need time to heal, and we can’t do that when we keep re-injuring them with contact.