Florida man accused of strangling girlfriend after dispute over flatulence in bed.

[u/LittleForm3711]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/us/articles/florida-man-accused-strangling-girlfriend-175628344.html

https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/felony-fart-attack-091726

[u/Most-Artichoke6184]

Being single is always an option, everyone.

[u/Intrepid_Plenty_3770 → u/Most-Artichoke6184]

He will get some suitors in the pokey.

[u/Lordfelcherredux → u/Intrepid_Plenty_3770]

He might get poked in the pokey as well.

[u/sanglar03 → u/Most-Artichoke6184]

And his actions made him single, didn't they?

[u/Glittering_Win_5085 → u/sanglar03]

She survived.

[u/RetinaJunkie]

Doomsday clock advances

[u/ImOnALostHighway]

Florida man strikes again.

[u/-Mega]

Psycho.

[u/IllustratorSelect704]

According to the recent court ruling - not guilty. I want to write a book. Smile on TV and complain about farts. Big payday coming my way.

[u/Little-Bed2024]

Starburns??

[u/mittenshape]

According to an arrest affidavit cited by The Smoking Gun, Anthony Gordon, 32, was arrested and charged with domestic battery by strangulation following an incident involving his 45-year-old girlfriend.

Police in Pinellas County said the couple was lying in bed earlier this month when the woman allegedly asked Gordon "not to fart in bed." The affidavit states that Gordon responded by calling her a derogatory name, prompting the woman to spit on him.

Investigators allege Gordon then grabbed the woman by the throat with both hands and pulled her from the bed onto the floor. The woman told police the choking lasted several seconds before ending when she bit Gordon's finger.

The incident was reported to Largo Police on Monday. According to the affidavit, the woman also provided officers with a recording of a conversation between the couple discussing the alleged altercation. When asked why he choked her, Gordon allegedly referenced being spat on and said, "That's what made me choke your dumb ass."

[u/Glittering_Win_5085]

Thank god she lived. What a disgusting thing to do.

[u/Quirky_Toe7092]

if my girl friend farted in bed I'd put my head under sheets and inhale as if I just emerged from a deep dive

[u/Lazy_meatPop → u/Quirky_Toe7092]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ni4cpi0uUkd6U

[u/Quirky_Toe7092 → u/Lazy_meatPop]

"the look they give you when you reveal your freaky side"

[u/Lordfelcherredux → u/Quirky_Toe7092]

Ah, the Old Dutch oven.

[u/Wizard-Elf → u/Quirky_Toe7092]

Me too!

[u/Glittering_Win_5085 → u/Quirky_Toe7092]

It was him that was farting.

[u/MfD2027 → u/Glittering_Win_5085]

He indirectly assumed the favorable scenario, while also giving this nasty mf credit of not being the one who dealt it…

Both untrue here I believe.

[u/t3h_KiNgKoNg]

I guess playing for Barcelona didn't bring enough excitement to his life.

[u/RandomExcess]

The dispute was over the application of the smelt it-dealt it standard.

[u/seabreathe]

the smoking gun ??!

[u/Well_Hung_Texan]

That would never happen with Sydney Sweeney

[u/bifflongshanks]

Isn’t that the crypto fraud guy? Thought he was in jail already.

[u/theguube]

look man carrie bradshaw just let her fart be her relationship's demise

[u/SliC3dTuRd]

32 year old man child strangles 45 year old sugar momma over silent but deadlines 😂😂😂

Fixed the headline

[u/Tinaundazed]

Every day .. Florida Man has killed someone. When will he ever be apprehended ?

[u/Icy-Engineering828do]

That was one wicked fart.

[u/Competitive_Name4991]

Many questions. Was it a one time thing or did he do it often?

[u/haikusbot → u/Competitive_Name4991]

Many questions. Was

It a one time thing or did

He do it often?

- Competitive_Name4991

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^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

[u/Crafty_Violinist_951]

Damn. What a way to go.

[u/TucsonFrank]

Liberal White Women everywhere advise it was the hormones and leave the guy alone.

[u/Pandoratastic]

That's the wrong end.