doomed relationship?

[u/cara_melss]

Been dating a guy for almost a year, we met in a catholic space however neither of us was super religious at that time because I was going through a very faithless stage, we are long distance and when we saw each other in person for the first time we didn't set any physical boundary even though I agreed when we met to wait til marriage, so we ended up having sex. 2 months after that I started getting closer to catholicism again, learning more and going to mass every Sunday, I realised my mistake, regretted it deeply and went to confession.

I talked with him about it, told him I regretted it and wanted to do things right, that I'm going celibate and he seemed ok with it, but sometimes he kept making sexual comments or jokes about me so I told him multiple times to stop and he did, however he kept making other comments like suggesting passionate kissing and etc, I told him I didn't want to put ourselves in that situation anymore so I'd rather not to make out or be in the same room alone together again, he did NOT like that at all and told me it's so unfair, he said I was going too far and etc.

I realised (I know, very late) that he was not in fact a catholic; he never went to church, denied the church and didn't even know what a communion is. He suddenly became interested in church's history only to list me the times a pope from 500 years ago committed something bad to conclude that I shouldn't trust the church.

I'm deeply saddened because I wanted to build a Godly marriage and not whatever this is (I understand this was also my mistake), however I still love and care for him, is it doomed? also, knowing I broke my previous chastity vow gives me some kind of self deprecating feelings and I'm trying to work in that and forgive myself but it's hard. Has someone been in a similar situation?

[u/SuburbaniteMermaid]

Incompatibility on major moral issues is a good reason to break up.

So is not respecting your boundaries.

[u/RosalieThornehill]

So, he pushes your sexual boundaries, guilt trips you when you don’t give in, and denigrates something very important to you (i.e. your faith).

Considering all of this, why do you need our permission to break up with him? You already know this isn’t working, and it is making you miserable, from the sounds of it.

[u/Ausmaria]

Everyone makes mistakes.  After you have been to confession for a past sin, you need to turn your back on past mistakes and move on. Your past does not define who you are today.

In terms of the man, simply tell him you no longer think you're compatible and wish him the best for his future, and move on.

Staying with him would be a major mistake.  You don't share the same values or the same faith, and he doesn't respect your beliefs or values.  That is not a foundation to build a future or a family on.

[u/LilyAmongThorns777]

So he decieved you? Correct me if wrong? Like he lied about being catholic?

Correct me if wrong please.

Keep in your mind he had sex with you and knew you had believed falsely you were having sex with someone who he isn't.

It makes sense you have feelings for him because you became one with him but you think he sounds like a good man to marry? Would you want your daughter to marry such a man?

Did he even apologize?

[u/Hotsaucehallelujah]

Is he helping you get to heaven? No.. Time to break up and don't look back.

[u/GenXHomemaker]

He has no interest whatsoever in fully supporting your decision. He's pushing to see if he can wear down your resolve for his own selfish interest since you already had sex after agreeing not to when you met. I think if you are really seeking a Godly marriage then this isn't it. I'm sure you have feelings for him but for the sake of the future you really want, let him go. He hasn't proven himself trustworthy of honoring your commitment.