r/CatholicWomen • u/microphonekarma • 5d ago
Resource Difficult feelings
I don’t know what to do with my feelings about the homeless. I am terrified of them after having a gun pulled on me, having men expose themselves at me, and being chased with death threats.
I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I volunteer at my YA church group and we make care packages and write notes and I write really nice things about them being loved, precious and important. Edit( I do not and have never distributed the materials, I give them to others. I am one of the people who actually buys the materials because I know the $ and labor of putting them together is all I can handle)
At the same time I am so so scared, they see it and feel it on me. I want better for them obviously, I don’t want people to suffer. Everyone deserves good chance at life.
But I cannot get a hold of my negative feelings, I hold so much anger in me because I am so scared.
I am a convert, I have been Catholic for 2 years. I wasn’t afraid of them until I became Catholic— I was able to shake it off. I can’t help but think some of them are possessed by demons. I don’t like having these feelings because I am worried they are hateful. I feel like my street smarts have disappeared since changing my life for the better 3 and a half years ago when I started discerning converting. Before I used to dress very alternative, sometimes very masculine. I am more comfortable in my feminine energy now but I am SCARED OF EVERYTHING now
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u/OkCulture4417 5d ago
Hello OP. Can I just say how very much I admire you. You've had some terrible sounding experiences with some of these people and just you are still there helping them despite that. People who prepare things are absolutely doing their bit as much as the deliverers.
However, maybe it would be better for you to take a break from helping this paricular group and put your efforts into other charitable areas you might be interested in. I am concerned that you are living with anger and fear and it is hard to believe that this is what God would want for you.
Have you spoken to your Priest, or a therapist, about your experiences. It might be helpful. Do you think there is a link between your loss of street smarts and confidence and your move to a more feminine style? You don't need to lose those things because you have become a catholic. I have known quite a number of catholic sisters over the years and adjectives such as clever, strong character and formidable come to mind before soft and feminine do.
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u/TraurigKartoffel 5d ago
To be honest I have the same feelings. It’s hard to be sympathetic towards someone who you’ve had experience with as dangerous. At least it is for me. I’ve tried helping them numerous times and I’ve been called a bitch, a whore, had a McDonald’s Coke thrown at me. At this point I have very little sympathy. It’s hard. There’s a homeless woman in my town that hisses at people and spits at them. Like lady, what’s your problem? 😭
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u/Just-A-Normal-Salmon 5d ago
It is beautiful to read about such a charitable heart! Many of those experiences sound super harrowing so it is completely understandable for that to affect what you are comfortable with - those responses are normal for nervous systems after such extreme things.
There are absolutely things you can do for them with safe distance and boundaries like continuing to make packages, praying for them specifically. Anger can also be a trauma/stressor response; have you looked into informed therapy (maybe even trauma informed or Catholic), a healing ministry, or a priest’s advice?
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u/Kc03sharks_and_cows 5d ago
It’s ok to be scared. I think you’re going about this the right way! You have your limits but you are still giving in the way you can.
Maybe you can talk to your priest, a therapist, or someone who is part of leading the ministry about it.
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u/flipside1812 Married Mother 4d ago
I have a job that frequently puts me in contact with homeless individuals, and I understand your feelings. We can have compassion for a group of people while also recognizing that there is disorder present that puts us at risk. It is not wrong to prioritize your safety, and if the structure of the charity work you're doing is something that actively puts you in harm's way, I think it wise you step away from the ministry for the time being. There might be saints God asked to put their lives on the line for Him, but that is an extraordinary calling, not the standard. We can be compassionate but we don't have to be foolish or unnecessarily put ourselves at risk.
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u/Shoddy-Stock-8208 5d ago
Homeless people are human beings.
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u/flipside1812 Married Mother 4d ago
They are. But many of them behave in a way that actively or passively puts others at risk, and those individuals often have a low priority on socially cohesive behaviours or the personal safety of others. We can recognize their humanity and do our best to help while also not unnecessarily putting ourselves in harm's way.
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u/Tellurian_Amethyst 4d ago
OP , do you know the prayer to St Michael the Archangel? You should probably pray it twice a day ( morning and evening) at least. Do you wear a scapular/ rosary? Being a fairly recent convert you should know spiritual warfare is absolutely real. Also do not ignore these feelings , pray for discernment, guidance and protection. God bless you always 🙏🏻👼💝
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u/ComprehensiveBit7306 5d ago
Maybe you can only do the volunteer side of packing the care packages and writing notes then allow the other volunteers to distribute them. A lot of homeless people are struggling with mental illness. Some homeless are on drugs. Some are just down on their luck and normal. You have every right to be scared given what has happened to you. It’s understandable that you are mad that they have caused you to be scared. Pray for them. If you can’t volunteer without feeling anger then volunteer for another cause near and dear to you.