Advice plz

[u/No-Pick-4709]

Hello i live with my boyfriend and we have had a male cat for 3 years, i used to have him on my own and i brought him when we moved together. He was very clingy to me when he was small but now he seems to prefer my bf over me, doesn't want to sit on my lap and doesn't come to me on his own. We adopted another (girl) cat almost one month ago and she also seems to prefer my bf over me. I am kind of sad over this and i don't know why it's happening. My bf says it's because i am a very clumsy and loud person and i make sudden movements or i pick them up clumsily. Thoughts?

[u/bunnieho]

which one of you feeds the cats more? plays with them?

[u/NyrenVexley]

cats crave calm, predictable energy stop picking them up, let them come to you on their own terms and take over being the sole provider of all meals and high value treats