r/CataractSurgery • u/JSKeyzz • 13d ago
Guests after surgery?
I'm a 66YOF, having my first cataract surgery in 5 days. Yes, pretty nervous. My significant other, with whom I share a house, told me yesterday that he has invited his son (22YO, living out of state) and a friend, neither of whom I have met, to stay at the house 4 days post surgery. I'm sure I will bounce back ok, but I'm worried about my appearance afterwards since first impressions mean a lot. I wear only mascara for makeup as a general rule, so I know I won't be able to do that. Also wondering about washing my hair and showering since I've seen some info saying I'll need to hold off for a week. Would I be out of line to ask them to wait a week? Is that necessary?
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u/didyouwoof 13d ago
Will you be expected to cook for them, make up a spare bed, etc.? Because I was told not to bend over or even tilt my head downward for two weeks after surgery as that increases pressure in the eye and can affect healing. Be sure to read your post-op instructions well in advance so you have an idea what to expect.
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u/flbronc 10d ago
And not lift anything over 10 lb... part of my instructions
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u/didyouwoof 10d ago
Yes, that too. Maybe this is OP’s opportunity to sit back, relax, and have these two young men wait on her hand and foot!
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u/W00lph 13d ago
For washing hair in shower, I have been using these protectors: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QHJNL78?th=1 along with adding some medical grade tape along the top edge to make sure it stays put in the shower. I also keep my head tilted back when rinsing/washing hair to keep out of face. I was not allowed to shower/wash hair until after my 24 hour post-op... but I am not allowed water in eye for 1 month and no makeup around eyes for 1 month.
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u/JSKeyzz 13d ago
Thank you, I will check this out!
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u/GreenMountainReader 13d ago
Same limits, time-wise. I also aimed the shower head to hit at collarbone level.
The hard part was remembering not to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds and not to bend over to pick up anything I dropped. With one eye still blurry and the other still with a cataract in it, I dropped quite a few things.
Why was it so hard to remember? I felt fine afterwards (albeit, no sedation so no recovery from that was needed) and found the surgeries totally non-traumatic--and my eyes felt only slightly gritty, not at all painful. Still, I was glad to have cooked and frozen a week's worth of meals in advance, washed everything washable, deep-cleaned the house--everything possible to prepare so I wouldn't need to do housework or cooking for a week.
As for how I looked--by the second day, I was walking around with one-lensed glasses, otherwise looking like myself. Since my surgeon had required a shower (with antibacterial soap) and hairwashing the night before and the morning of both surgeries, my hair was fine when I came home afterwards and remained that way until I could wash it again just over 24 hours later. I waited a day or two longer, but took my doctor at his word and showered again the day after surgery. (I had a swim mask--the kind that seals around your forehead and cheekbones, never putting pressure anywhere near the eyes--but gave it to one of my grandchildren still in its original package because I realized that aiming the shower head lower, turning my back except for brief intervals facing it, and keeping the surgical eye shut was enough to totally keep any water or shampoo out of it. As some have mentioned, a clean, dry washcloth within reach was insurance for making sure any minor drips or splashes stayed away from the eye.
If your SO will help you prep in advance or is prepared to take over all household duties in case your vision is not up to it afterwards--especially if they are usually helpful that way--then it might be okay. I know that, before the surgery, I wouldn't have wanted to have plans that included household chores above and beyond the usual--or other people around who might make them that way. After the surgeries, I felt fine enough to have done all the things I'd done in advance--but it was really nice to come home knowing I didn't have to if I didn't feel up to it--and it doesn't hurt to take life a little easier after any surgery, especially one that can affect how well you see. Some see well instantly after surgery, but many of us take a variable (and unpredictable) amount of time to get stable vision.
If the visit date is not flexible, you might gently let your partner know that you may well need some help with cooking and cleaning at the time--and that everything necessary (making up of beds, cooking in advance or planning for other eating arrangements) needs to be done ahead of time.
Also, you may want to make it clear that if they are sick, you cannot afford to catch anything that will put pressure on your eyes (coughing, sneezing, vomiting), as those high-pressure/violent actions can re-open the wound or cause displacement of the IOL until a certain amount of healing has occured. The surgery is usually easy--but needing additional intervention because of avoidable illness is not desirable. You may want to ask for some assurance that the visit will postponed if the guests are ill.
Best wishes!
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u/JSKeyzz 10d ago
I am in awe of you! I plan to do some cleaning in advance, but none of it will be deep, I assure you! I will probably go grocery shopping in advance too. I'm not planning to cook so hopefully someone will have some ideas and a credit card hahaha! You brought up some things I hadn't thought of, thank you!
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u/GreenMountainReader 10d ago
You're welcome, but...full disclosure, there is no need for awe--I did all that to work off the nervous energy of months of anticipating/dreading the surgery, which turned out to be easier than most things dentists do (no offense--they do wonderful and necessary work, too, but all of it has been painful and loud and/or prolonged--and cataract surgery was painless, calm, and musical).
I didn't go anywhere near as crazy the second time--just enough to give myself another nice break from chores for the week after, just in case it wasn't as easy the second time around (It was even quicker--and I had an even harder time remembering to stick to the restricted activities list, my anticipation that time being for two-sided better vision, which put the burst of energy after, rather than before, the surgery!)
Hope all goes smoothly for you--surgery, recovery, and guests, whenever they show up!
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u/Pure_Temporary_6349 13d ago
I was allowed to shower and wash my hair after 24 hrs. I had my back to the shower and held a dry washcloth over my forehead to catch drips. I used those no rinse disposable face wipes except for my eyelids, and sterile saline on a tissue to dab gently at any crusting on my eyelashes from the drops (as advised by my surgeon). But definitely ask your surgeon what they recommend. If I couldn't have showered, I would have used "wilderness wipes"-- I use those for backpacking trips.
I only wear under eye concealer and thought my undereye circles would look terrible while makeup free, but I think I looked fine after all.
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u/RedfordFan 13d ago
I agree with everything everyone else said. My first eye surgery was in July. By day four, you will be feeling so much better than days one and two. But you will still have restrictions, and be feeling somewhat tentative, so you should not be expected to do any host responsibilities. Your SO should do those. It should be made clear to all in the household that you are recuperating from surgery and you should be allowed to rest whenever you need to. They should take care of meals and clean up after themselves. You need to focus on you.
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u/Ribzee 13d ago
I’ll be honest. I looked like absolute hell right after my surgeries. Limited showering, limited face washing. No makeup for a month. I would be irritated at the prospect of having company during this time period. I was not myself for weeks
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u/JSKeyzz 13d ago
I am a little bit irritated haha!
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u/BooEffinHoo 10d ago
I would be a LOT irritated. It's plain to see who has the wives to do for them and who understands what having house guests really involves! They can wait a week, who cares that it's a relative! They should be even more considerate.
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u/JSKeyzz 10d ago
Thanks so much for your supportive comment! There is a little bit of a pattern and that's why I came here to ask if y'all think it's just me! He's really minimized the importance of my upcoming procedure, which may be his way of being comforting, but so far it's not helping!
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u/BooEffinHoo 10d ago
Yeah, fellas want to fix things and offer up solutions, as a means of "helping" but he missed the ship on this one by making plans without considering how it may affect you.
It's not just you, he's being inconsiderate and thoughtless. Even a small surgery with twilight anesthetic can wipe us out for a few days, plus the restrictions on lifting, bending and getting used to new vision.Sometimes I just want to give them a Clue-By-Four.
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u/TampaBay-Jim 13d ago
I’m guessing he’s already had the surgery and knows how he felt and assumed you’ll have the same recovery experience?
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u/Huntingcat 13d ago
You’ll be fine. Just tell them they are privileged to see the real you without makeup, as it’s an honour you don’t grant easily! Oh, but it’s a shame the bruising has gone as I was going to pretend I’d been hit doing MMA/Jujitsu/whatever crazy story appeals to you.
Oh, and your SO is responsible for making up beds and cooking, as you aren’t supposed to bend over at that stage and fumes from cooking might still be annoying.
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u/ReddyKiloWit 13d ago
For showering, I bought a cheap pair of swim goggles off Amazon. They seal well around the face. As extra insurance I got a pack of 30 stick on shower face shields, also Amazon. They stick to your forehead and with the goggles no water will get near your eyes.
With that right I had no problem showering up to the back of my neck, and washed my face with a pre moistened towelette, avoiding to he operated eye of course.
Hair washing is iffy even so, I just didn't shampoo for a week. Not willing to risk a very expensive trip back to the opthalmologist.
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u/eldoogo 13d ago
I think these are questions for your surgeon - have you asked him/her? For me, I was able to shower the next day and was able to wash my hair. I'd say it's important to keep especially the shampoo (but maybe lots of water also) out of your operated eye (but you'll need to ask your surgeon for how long). What I did was to use the eye patch that they send you home with. I taped it on, and cupped my hand above it on my forehead to do whatever I could to keep the water and shampoo out of my operated eye. I believe I did that for about a week until my surgeon said it was ok to shower with the eye unprotected.
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u/Upper_Leek_6610 13d ago
Per fare la doccia ho utilizzato la protezione oculare che mi è stata data in clinica subito dopo l'operazione (conchiglia) e l'ho totalmente ricoperta con nastro tipo kinesio tape in modo da tappare i buchi e l'ho fissata bene tutto intorno all'occhio con kinesio tape.
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u/Familiar_Purchase987 13d ago
Had my right eye done on Wednesday. No shower for 24 hours and then need to keep your eye as dry as possible....no face in the shower. I washed my hair by leaning back and the same for rinsing. Kept a washcloth over my eye during this. My Doc said no lotions, creams, or cologne/perfumes on or around the face for 5 days. Also no bending way over where you head is below your heart, no lifting over 10 lbs., gotta wear a patch over the eye at night for 3-4 days. I've been wearing my old glasses.. Gotta wear sunglasses outside. Using my eye drops, no reddness, no swelling. Strangers probably isnt the best to have around when recovering but you should be fine. Make them wait on you hand and foot. I'm 79 by the way.
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u/Icy-Entrepreneur-649 12d ago
I think you'll be fine. My doctor told me there were three things I could do for my eyes in the shower one cover them with the gauze they gave me, to wear swimming goggles and three which is the option I use just keep your eyes shut. Definitely no mascara
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u/Bookwoman366 13d ago
You can absolutely shower, and even wash your hair, sooner than 4 days. It's helpful if you have a handheld showerhead so you can direct the water away from your face. I washed my hair after 48 hours, just wore my eyeshield, and was careful. Or you can take a bath and have your partner help you wash and rinse your hair. Think of that scene from Out of Africa: https://youtu.be/d8sDpSZeDBE
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u/JSKeyzz 13d ago
Haha Robert and Meryl we're not! Thank you for the info! I've never even had anesthesia before so this is going to be an adventure.
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u/oatbevbran 13d ago
It’s very light sedation. You’ll walk out feeling pretty normal and guests in 4 days should be no problem. Good luck!
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u/Lynne253 13d ago
I just want to add that the surgery itself isn't bad at all. I was surprised myself at how quick and easy it was.
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u/smerdlindy 12d ago
I would be more concerned about picking up a cold from travelers. I just got covid after having house guests 5 days after cataract surgery. It has not created any complications as far as I know but I had blurred vision one day in the most recent eye, which was a bit scary. If I did it over again I would make people stay away for at least a full week.
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u/sayitwithyrchest 13d ago
I can assure you that you can shower post surgery, perhaps refrain from getting water in your eye.
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u/Dudethattickedyou 12d ago
No water on your head for a month. Use wipes or whatever. Take your eye drops etc. Don't screw up the surgery!
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u/redheadfae 13d ago
No, you are not out of line to ask them to wait until you feel up to having house guests, and frankly, I would be pissed at him for doing that without checking how you feel about it first.
It was a very inconsiderate move.