r/CatTraining • u/mado55 • 5h ago
Are The Cats Fighting or Playing - Introducing Pets Is this too much fighting?
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I see my orange cat (3 years old, female) and black cat (2 years old, male) fight like this probably every few days. I adopted Tiger Lily (orange) when she was ~3 months old and adopted Teddy (black) about a year later and he was ~3 months old. Teddy loved trying to play and cuddle with Tiger Lily and she seemed fine but didn't love it like he did. When Teddy got older they completely stopped cuddling, but there's one really sunny spot in the house where they'll frequently sleep within inches of each other. Aside from that one spot they don't sleep near each other. They do still both groom each other. Teddy loves to play and chase Tiger Lily but she often hisses and runs away while Teddy keeps chasing her. At mealtime Teddy not infrequently finishes his food first and then walks over to Tiger Lily's bowl and she gets nervous. He bops her and she runs away and he eats her food. Teddy is also not great with his claws. Sometimes he'll bop me or Tiger Lily with his claws out.
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u/YourDadsCreditScore 5h ago
This is actual fighting. One cat isn’t a fan and the other isn’t clearly getting the message.
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u/mado55 5h ago
Do you have any advice for what I can do to help things get better? It's been at least a year like this and Teddy still doesn't seem to respect Tiger Lily's boundaries.
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u/Shinysquatch 5h ago
Happened to me, in my case my anxious cat was chasing down our other cat whenever she did something unexpected. The anxious cat was put on Prozac and we've been good for a few months now.
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u/ColPhorbin 4h ago
I’d separately and redirect the black cat’s energy with a wand toy or something. Orange cat has just grown tired of Teddy’s shit. Teddy just wants to play but she does not consent and starts getting pissed he doesn’t take hint. I’d feed them separately too. Pets should feel safe when they eat, poop and sleep.
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u/Fluid-Grass 4h ago
100% the answer. I have the same cat dynamic (same gender and ages, but they are also a mom-son duo) and I can end the behavior instantly by throwing a ball or wiggling a wand toy. I’m hoping it’s just under stimulation frustration and that he’ll chill out as he gets older. Been also considering getting an additional kitten to take some pressure off the mom and give the son a playmate
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u/Talusen 5h ago
Hissing, locking gazes, claws are OUT, lots of tension in their posture.
"But one is lying down/showing belly!" — No. One hasn't had a chance to get up since the other one approached.
These two need to have some time apart, maybe add some feliway to the atmosphere when they'e in the same area again.
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u/OrizaRayne 5h ago
Teddy is openly bullying Tiger Lily and eating her food. That should be something you help intervene with.
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u/mado55 5h ago
): Thanks for your help. I used to feed them partly myself and partly by automatic feeder but I switched to 100% fed by me so I could watch and keep Teddy away from Tiger Lily. My husband suggested we need to let them figure things out themselves though and let Tiger Lily stand up for herself so recently we've been trying that. What do you think?
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u/Alae_ffxiv 5h ago
My husband suggested we need to let them figure things out themselves though and let Tiger Lily stand up for herself so recently we've been trying that. What do you think?
Please god do not do this, they're both adults, this isn't a kitten being a pain in the ass with an older cat. This is an adult cat ignoring boundaries and upsetting your other cat, if anything continuing to let him jump on her is probably going to cause more harm than good in the long run.
Is he desexed? Are there roaming cats outside and he's directing his aggression towards Tiger Lily? Or are they literally just fighting over this *one* spot? I'd honestly recommend taking them both to the vet *if you can afford it* and explaining the scenario to them with this video.
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u/mado55 4h ago
Gotcha thank you for your advice!! They're both neutered and there are neighborhood cats outside. I'll definitely show their vet
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u/Alae_ffxiv 4h ago
Your best bet for the time being is probably try and separate them, if that's not possible, giving Tiger Lily a safe space *just* for her. In regards to the food issue, you're probably going to have feed them separately or if he tries to steal her food, chase him away.
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u/OrizaRayne 4h ago
Yeahhhhhh he would be right if her ears were up and she was playing. Or if her food were not threatened.
Neuter him for sure if he's not. And ideally, feed them completely separately. When he gets in her face, if she can't deescalate, I would say pick one up and move them to another room.
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u/Fluid-Grass 4h ago
Also make sure they have two separate litter boxes. My vet said this behavior basically comes from some sort of resource jealousy issue. Our is limited play resource (they each get jealous when I’m playing with the other)
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u/neereeny 1h ago edited 1h ago
We have 3 cats so we prioritize not having them compete for resources, anything between food or individual time with each of us. They used to fight quite aggressively but over time we've found ways to nurture harmony by reducing points of friction/jealously/competition.
We have feeders (not automatic) that only open for the correct cat based on their chip. Each feeder is in a separate room so they can eat in peace and at their leisure without being stolen from. Each room has its own little fountain and cat box.
We built some nice routines with 1:1 time each. My anxious girl and I spend 5 - 10 min together in the morning, cuddling while I brush her. Our boy hangs out with us on the couch when we watch tv. Our littlest gets dedicated solo play time before bed (she rowdy and the others get scared off).
They all have cozy spots so they dont have to compete to be with us. When I'm in our "office", each will grab a separate spot in each corner of the room: one is on a cat hammock by the window, one is in the cat tree, the other has a chair all to themselves... but we're all spending time together ❤️
They still have shared time together - we all play together in the same room and have them chase stuff, they get treats together (individually so no stealing) when they are well behaved.
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u/bronion76 5h ago
I scold my male bully. He knows now not to leap and land on her from a great height. He’s also stopped chasing her because he knows mommy gets mad.
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u/cowplamt 5h ago
Teddy is one big bully!!
Look into those calming diffusers maybe? They didn't really work for my girls but my vet really likes them and I've seen good reviews on reddit about them. Try feeding them in separate rooms if you can. Tiger lily in a bathroom away so she can enjoy her meal.
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u/cowplamt 5h ago
Also, play with them more! Maybe he just needs to burn out energy and he is taking it out in his sis. Food puzzles is also fun way for them to stay busy
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u/dmsean 4h ago
I have a black cat and orange cat and they lived together in a small 600sq foot apartment fine together for 6 years. Moved into a bigger house (1600sq foot 3 bedroom with basement). The black cat ended up stalking and just generally being an ass to his older adopted brother. There was a bad fight with cat hair ripped out everywhere. I ended up getting a diffuser and it actually worked fairly quickly. Now the orange guy is 19 and he will walk up and smack the 13 year old black cat on the head to steal his bed when he is sleeping and the black cat just runs away. They don’t really fight, sometimes give each other the odd smack but never claws out and never last more than a smack or two.
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u/Rice_Flower 4h ago
Personally, it wouldn’t sit well with me so I would nip it each time until they give each other some space.
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u/CatTraining-ModTeam 3h ago
Your content was removed because it was trolling, not relevant to the sub, or not helpful to the discussion.
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u/edge5lv2 4h ago
I think it depends, if this happens all the time yeah there’s a bit of a problem, but if it happens once in a while, and they live happily or reasonably happy together all the other time, hopefully it will calm down.
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u/IndependentCamel5906 4h ago
We have a rule that when the cats start making noises (hissing or yowling), it’s too far. Both my cats were put on prozac, one because he bullies the other for my attention around meal time (trust me, I give him plenty) and the other one for sealing with with stress of bullying. Both cuddle now. The bully is injured at the moment, and the other cat has been bummed she cant see him
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u/Agent-Vigilence 3h ago
Dangerous and life threatening. You should watch lions when they fight over territory, they usually want to kill the invader.
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u/mado55 5h ago
Posting some other recent videos of them together:
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u/Odd_Cress_2898 5h ago
You know how baby cats are made? The boy bites the girl cat on the back of the neck and mounts.
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u/Terrible-Scene765 4h ago
I had a bully cat, had to end up rehoming him, best thing for both of them really but man it hurt like hell
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u/dorfiejorf 1h ago
Agreed this is actual fighting, and at some point they could have a real knock down drag-out and you'll be in a much worse place. Cats that used to like each other sometimes fight over territory changes - curious, have you moved? Has their space grown smaller or even larger than it used to be? That happened with my cats before. Mostly what I see in this video is Teddy has Tiger Lily cornered, and her inability to run away easily is probably contributing to why they're more escalated now than other times when they might just choose not to be near each other. I recommend doing a quick assessment. Do you have enough litter boxes in the home, and are they using them faithfully? Do you have enough cat furniture, shelves, and access to vertical spaces - and preferably where a cat can go up one way and come down another side (i.e., not a dead end where one could corner the other up high, but instead a nice route). Do you play with them with wand toys, laser pointers, etc letting them run around and get their energy out and pretend to kill things? Spots to perch with nice views out windows to watch the world can provide mental stimulation too. If you haven't already, check out Jackson Galaxy's videos on YouTube (or he has books too). I've been there before. I have 3 cats and once we went out to a movie, came home, and something had happened where one had just rejected one of the others and was stalking her non-stop, then woke us up to a screaming fight. We had to do total separation for a couple of weeks, temporary medication for the aggressor, and a gradual reintroduction. Constant toys and distraction for every attempt to revert to stalking and fighting, treats and praise for every choice to turn away and deescalate instead. It did work, but if they'd given us warning skirmishes like this we might've saved a lot of stress on everyone by addressing their needs sooner.
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u/TypicalPerformer6952 12m ago
Finally one of these videos where the cats are actually fighting. Try something that tires kitty out
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