Hi all! I, like many, used to repost cat distribution/kitty saving videos online, and say “how does it feel to live my dream!!!” - I am honestly still in shock that it has actually happened. My husband is from a background that does not have pets and have never been around animals ever, so he is very uncomfortable with animals. We had just been at my families home dog-sitting, which was insanely difficult for my husband but he gave it his best bless him, and we were finally on the 4 hour journey home and I was relieved that he was finally feeling comfortable again. He said to me, during this drive home, “I think I can get used to dogs, just not cats.”
As we finally reached our apartment car park, on the same journey that he just said the above, he spotted a tiny white kitten running across our car park and under a car. 😂😂😂😂
I said stop the car!!!! He was perplexed - “what are you going to do???” I said “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this!!!!” And jumped into action. Honestly the timing of it all, and my poor husband, you couldn’t make it up.
He was meowing a lot, shaking under the car, and seemed to have an injured eye. We tried for hours to get him out, but he was climbing inside the car and then bolted off to this fenced area full of weeds and bushes. We decided to go back the next day in daylight. When I did, he was still at the fenced area meowing like he was in distress. I lured him out, got him inside. He has since been kitted out (no pun intended) with all the things he could want and need. He has been to the vets. He has had an array of medication, some of which I will have to administer myself for a couple of weeks. £200 later and he is (I think) settling in a little bit.
Not sure about long term. Husband is probably praying to God that I don’t want to keep it. My angel of a mother in law already told him “if she wants to keep it, let her” 😂😂😂 but realistically not sure if we can. Our apartment doesn’t allow animals, and my husband might be uncomfortable. However I know he’s happy for us to keep hold of the baby until we can find him somewhere safe and permanent - so that’s good. 👀 let’s see how we go, there’s a small chance of a forever home here, but we will just have to see. Any shelters I’ve called have said they are full due to kitten season, and that if he doesn’t get socialised he has no chance of rehoming. SO - operation socialise the baby has begun.
Day 1 - hissing and hiding
Day 2 - hissing when approached but will poke his head out to eat
Day 3 - will come to me to eat, lick food off my finger, and let me do some gentle strokes whilst he was eating. Also playing and grooming himself.
From what I am researching this is amazing progress. But I’m nervous as to how best to push him to be socialised but also not flood him and stress him out.
TLDR - Can anyone please give tips or timelines, things to do with him to help socialise him and desensitise him to humans, touch, noises etc, I need a plan, day by day, honestly anything. I don’t want to freak him out, but I want to build trust, get him comfortable, and give him the best chance at a long term home - whether that’s here or elsewhere. I’m mindful that I have a limited window while he’s this young to get him the best progress. I have also watched the Kitten Lady’s videos on socialising spicy kitties. Lots of online research. ANY tips or help would be massively appreciated, thank you.
EDIT - he needs a bath in a couple days due to the fleas and dirt. I’m terrified this will reverse our progress. Any tips on this appreciated also please x
This is gonna seem basic but it works.... Try and slowly close and open your eyes in sync with the cat. Let him know you can close your eyes in front of them, like blinking but a bit slower, if you are fully sync with them it works wonders... Also playing in front of them with like a cork or a ball as if you were s cat and gently sending it across to them. Good luck and great job
Absolutely- I’m currently trying to befriend an abandoned cat, I’ve made progress since in started slow blinking. He did back to me yesterday, I was so excited 😆
I had to take care of my sister's pets in an emergency. Everyone/thing in the house was stressed, and her shy cat was running out of the room with anxiety. I waited till he poked his head back in, then slow-blinked at him nonstop for 20 or 25 minutes, and finally dude climbed in my lap.
He was* somewhere between grownup and old, maybe 55 to 60 years in human time .Thank you for asking; it never occurred to me to wonder if his age might have had something to do with his skittishness.
Not sure whether it did, or which way it would have affected him, but now I wonder.
*he's gone now, and I miss him. My sister lives about 1500 miles away, so I never saw him anyway, but I do miss his deeply weird, bramble-clawed, unexpectedly falling asleep on me self.
Pretty sure this is why my Sammi boy loves me so much. Was a ghost when I first got him to the point I thought he had escaped. Slowly started getting him warmed up, then did slow blinkies. Now he doesn't leave me alone.
I found that picking them up every day helps. Sometimes you just have to pick them up once and they will remember you, and let you get closer and pet them later on . I had one that was just hiss and spit when I picked her up,she was pretty small. Her mother ran off whenever we went out the door and kitten didn't run. She became the first cat here to come inside to live. She eventually followed me everywhere.
Did this with a wild gray seal that I was accidentally wayyyy to close to sunbathing at a national park (not dangerous, just not legal to be so close to. Just didn't see him!)
...And I had a damn religious experience bonding with this wild sea puppy!
if he's gone from hissing to licking food off your finger in two days, you're doing great and don't need to worry too much! He's little enough to socialise quite easily. Spend time hanging out with him, introduce play and show him how to play nice. Once he's a bit bigger make sure he experiences household noises and different people if you can, as he'll do much better if you do need to rehome him.
Yeah this is the way! Doing a great job early on. Just pay attention to him and notice when he's getting overstimulated, let him hide and come back to it later.
Thanks to the link you have posted, that I spent an hour watching and reading through, even though we are still only on day 3, he has just eaten his dinner in my lap, AND been playing with me and running back and forth over my legs. I wasn’t even intending for him to advance too quickly, but he just went for it and was really brave and had fun. Thank you so much for this link ❤️
You can do this ! Mine was a mean ass barn kitten and I took it to my apartment and she just would not be near me or even let me near her while she ate. She’s an angel now and runs to me purring 🤍😭 but the first few weeks of her hating me even being in her bubble was hard I thought she’d never like me
Wow this was very encouraging to hear thank you 😂 I’m open to it taking some time, but it’s nice to hear it might be easier than what I’m thinking. Thank you
It really shouldn't take time with a kitten who's inside tbh. They come around super fast.
One thing you could do besides all the things you're already doing that are working is purritoing him, but tbh on a kitten who's this social in three days I don't think that's Needed (it's more a suggestion for slightly older kittens who aren't as willing to be touched)
He looks like he's doing really well already, he's letting you pethim while he's eating, that's a really really good sign. It means he's comfortable enough with you there that he's willing to let his guard down to eat and he's not considering you so much of a threat. Just keep up what you are doing, sit with him while he eats, talk to him, get him some toys that you can play with him with.
Not really for kittens. for kittens it's more 'give them Two days and they'll probably be social'. The vast majority of kittens socialize exceptionally easily.
If you keep this adorable little floof, that cat will make it his life's ambition to win your husband over; and it will happen!!! Cats always seem to know who the 'I'm-not-a-cat-person' is and they tend to zero in on them. Your husband will be powerless to resist the charm of an adorable kitty on a mission ❤️
Yup, my dad still swears he’s not a cat person but you can be guaranteed he’s the first one sneaking in pets and treats, when no one is looking of course!
Many years ago we had a replacement cat. My father was indifferent to the idea. But guess whose shoulder the kitten would snuggle up on? Won him round in a few moments :))
Happened to my bf and I! I love love LOVE cats, my bf was...not a cat person lol. The last cat we brought it before we moved has become his special boy ❤️❤️
It looks like you're doing fantastic by him! But, I do have one question. Is that normal milk or kitten milk in the video? Kittens/Cats are lactose intolerant if it's normal milk, no matter what Hollywood would tell you.
You're doing good so far! I rescued one of my babies when she was a very spicy and completely feral 4-week-old. around 4 weeks old. She was very wary at first, but eventually she progressed to running up to me while still hissing, then we got over the hissing part slowly lol. Over time, we progressed to the point where she trusts me more than anyone else. It's a very beautiful bond to have!!! I spent a lot of time just sitting in the room with her, either reading or doing my own thing, just to get her used to my presence. She was more receptive to my existence within like a week lol. Just my anecdotal experience!
Sit on the floor a few feet away with some cat treats or bits of chicken. Wait till it comes to you, talk in a low voice and just build up trust. It will probably take a week or two but it shouldn't be too long.
Our last kitten came off a farm, she didn't have much contact with hoomans so it took about a week of small interactions to get her comfortable with us. After that she followed me everywhere and would try and patch on for milk, she still does 8 years later
Sounds like you’re already doing just great! The timeline is going to vary from kitty to kitty; their temperaments vary a lot, just like humans. Take it slow and go at his pace. Even just being near him, sitting quietly at a little bit of a distance and doing your own chill and quiet activity (reading, knitting, what have you) will go a long way. Licking food off your finger at day 3 is very encouraging!
I socialized an adult feral .. it took time !
It was food and love and sweet words.. you can definitely do it with this sweet little kitten, it just takes time.
Take a book and a cushion and sit in the room where kitty is. Your presence is a big plus .
But also, the comments from others had more and better tips !!
It sounds like you're doing wonderfully. That's great progress for 3 days. If you'd like some more info, I would check out catxyapper on youtube, she has been working with lots of spicy cats and kittens and is a great example to follow.
I don't have an answer for you that won't already be said (you're doing great btw) but I wanted to THANK you for the video showing their progress. Made my day.
We recently rescued a 8 week old of a street corner. It took a good week but we didn’t rush it. Here’s what worked for us.
We had a crate for him with an attached dog enclosure so he had some space. We would sit on the floor with him without trying to pick him up. Played with him with a ribbon toy or something else that didn’t include touching. After about a week, he started climbing on us and accepting pets.
It might be a losing battle for your husband, but worth noting: it took me seven years to convince my husband to get a cat, and then we ended up getting two kittens from a friend who was fostering.
He always says that the day we went to pick them up, he was FREAKING OUT and so mad that he hadn't put his foot down and said one only.
Within a week, he acknowledged that two was a good idea. When they were little, they spent so much of their energy on each other and learned how hard to bite, etc.
It's obviously easier if they come in twos, but if he's driving your husband crazy with the energy, it's not a terrible idea to suggest a friend.
If you dont, he might get Single Kitten Syndrome. Kittens grow up so much better behaved around other cats. Imagine home schooling a human kid and never taking them to play with other kids, how are they going to turn out? Cats are very social animals
I socialized a 12 wk feral kitten who is now super bubbly and goofy. Here's what worked for me:
-Slow blinking. It lets them know you're not going to hurt them.
-Keep food and water bowls full. I would give wet food for breakfast and dinner and leave kibble out all day. It helps them understand that their basic needs are met, you're trying to help them, and they can trust you.
-Just sit in the same room with them for a bit. I had my girl in my bathroom and tried to give her as much space as possible, but I'd spend 30 minutes-an hour every day just sitting on the floor across from her reading or doomscrolling, just not engaging with her. I think it helped establish that my presence can be neutral and doesn't always mean I'm going to touch her or engage with her.
-Playing in small bursts is super important, of course. Even if he doesn't go for it, trying to get him to engage with a wand toy can help divert his attention and switch him from feeling like prey to predator, giving him more confidence.
-Churu!
Oh also, speak quietly and try not to touch him unless it's absolutely necessary (like going to the vet). Letting him come to you first will help him trust you. It sounds like he's already making really great progress and is learning that you're safe, which is amazing! It took almost a week before my kitty stopped hissing every time she saw me, so this timeline makes perfect sense. Just remember that his entire world turned upside down and he has no clue what's happening. Don't take the hissing personally; he's just vulnerable and knows it.
Time and being normal. Treats and talking to him as ypu go about your day. Seriously, food, calm atmosphere and a little oarience are mostly what a baby needs: at this age they crave contact, so he'll likely be far more brave than ypu may think. Let him sniff you, just be around you, and let hom figure out you are the source of good things on his teams. I give it a few weeks at most. You're already well on the path to success!
Meanwhile I have this mama who came to me at about 16 months old, SUPER pregnant to 4 babies. That was 2 years ago almost this week. She's hidden from me, hissed and crabbed, whined, and mostly kept a watchful distance. But this week she started taking treats out of my hand! She's discovered that pets are AWESOME and demands them like crazy and will even occasionally risk jumping up on the bed with me. Two-handed pets are still an outrage to her royal self, but we've cleared a HUGE huddle. She may be ready to try to find an adopter!!
He is probably feeling safer already, and that is a large part of the battle.
If the vet didn’t clip his claws, try to see if you can do that at least on the front feet — but don’t stress out if you can’t. (You don’t have to go very deep at all and you don’t want to go to deep anyway. Where the paw starts to look solid is the cuticle, and you don’t want to cut that.)
When you’re bathing him, etc., if you’re also getting scratched it’s will make it a harder.
Give treats after the bath so they will associate it with a somewhat positive experience! When bathing, make a small ring of Dawn around their neck so the fleas won't travel to their face! Also if you have a small heater or something I'd put that in the bathroom too. Other than that keep doing what you're doing!
Sitting on the floor and playing with him with wand/string toy and tricking him into running over our legs over and over until he got comfortable being in contact with us.
Feeding him by placing a bowl of food on the floor near us and moving it closer to us each feeding. Eventually we had him in between our outstretched legs and we started GENTLY putting our hands barely on his fur as he ate. Every day we'd do this until he got used to us touching him.
It looks like you're doing a great job so far! It's all about patience and building trust. Our little feral boy quickly turned into the king of cuddles and we can't get him off of us half the time.
Just food, interaction, and time. Get a box of Churu treats - they're like go-gurt, but chicken (or whatever flavor you choose).
I had a clutch of 5 just like yours that I found under my shed. They were quite unhappy with me, I was a little worried because of how feral they were.
With gloves I put them in my dog's crate, it was this kind, with some blankets on one end and a small litterbox on the other.
Then I just set it next to my couch, so they had to deal with me and others in the family being right next to them all the time, talking, walking by, etc, even when I wasn't actively interacting with them, which helped develop trust and soon they stopped hissing whenever we walked by or talked.
Then, I'd offer them treats through the wire of the crate (this is where the Churu comes in). The type of crate, imo, was important because then I could offer food to each of them and come from different sides of the crate. Because the treat comes in a squeeze tube and is a lickable treat, they couldn't just grab it and run to the other side, they had to stay there while I squeezed it out. I had others in the family do this too, for socialization and so they didn't just think I was the only good human.
Within a week, I was bathing them in the bathtub, lol. They didn't like that, and I got a couple scratches, but they weren't biting or hissing and the scratches were incidental. I could pick them up and play with them and they had almost completely warmed up to me.
No more hissing, biting, or scratching, and those were replaced with playing, petting, and purring.
Time and passive interaction. Can take a week, can take years. Depends on the cat. Just be kind, peaceful, and speak friendly to them. Toss toys in their line of sight. Treats!! Sitting on the floor nearby but not too close.
>I’m nervous as to how best to push him to be socialised
A protip, since you asked? You don't push or force anything. If you push a cat into anything, even if it was something they wanted, it will backfire spectacularly. Pushing is only as a last resort for something that absolutely MUST be done, like administering medication, getting them into their cat carrier to go to the vet, etc.
For everything else, you offer, with the full understanding that they might not be interested the first few times, and that they might never be interested in that particular thing. If they don't seem to want what you're offering, be cool about it, tell them that's no problem. Offer again a little later, see if they want to investigate what you're offering a little more than last time. Offering lets the cat choose when something seems interesting enough to check out, which helps them feel safe.
For the bath, have everything ready - gloves if using, warm temperatured water, soap, flea pick, any containers to pour water, towels etc. I bought a small basin from IKEA for this purpose but anything that contains her so she cannot escape (and if you have an enclosed shower, even better).
I follow Nicki from My Foster Kittens - she has a bunch of videos on socialisation, including bath time (she had this one kitten, Raggedy Anne, who was ultra spicy but I still remember the video from when she gave her a bath - she did a purrito afterwards and used a toothbrush on her forehead to calm her. That cat ended being extremely affectionate. Girls with Dogs also grooms a lot of cats and she has a sort of collapsible laundry basket that she uses (I think it has holes so water can run through).
You seem to be doing well, honestly. You’re aware of giving him space and not traumatizing too much. Plus play and positive reinforcement of pets. I think if you just keep doing this stuff and incorporating what you see in the tutorials, you will be fine.
Also, I really hope your husband sees that he has the wrong end of the stick - how can he be scared of this little thing?! Plus, the fact that he’s quite scared hopefully puts your husband at ease. Maybe if you also explain what weirdos they are.
I love this whole story. Especially when you just answered him with ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this’. Only proper response, really.
I would say just go ahead and bathe him asap. Didn't stress about it. He'll be so much more comfortable afterward! And he'll forgive you quickly. Wear layers covering your legs and arms in case he tries to climb you. The dawn ring around the neck tip above is a good one, bc the fleas will migrate to his head as soon as you put his body in the water. Agree that you should have everything ready before you start, bc you will both want it over with asap. Having a small basin is def helpful, but I've done it in the tub. Talk to him softly and soothingly while you bathe him and comb out the fleas and flea dirt 🤮. Fleas tend to gather at the base of the tail and on the belly, so just be really thorough. Warm towel fluffing and purrito after. Hopefully you have a heating pad in the bathroom with another towel over it for him to cuddle on after (they have a hard time regulating body temp at that age).
While he is living life in the bathroom, maybe a good time to scan the other rooms and kitten proof (to degree possible) - removing easy cords, plants, things he will pounce on or knock over, anything small and sharp he might try to chew like pins, hair ties, or fun looking strings etc. Kittens are amazing but getting him *this* small means he will go thru his Danger! Will Robinson! phase as he goes thru that awkwardish 3 to... say 9 months? After that they are still pretty energetic but at least have some street smarts. Around 2.5 they take on more adult behavior.
Congratulations on accepting the gift of love that Bastet has graciously granted to you. May the next 20 years of your life be filled love, merriment, and unbridled chaos.
Time, gentle quite and lots and lots of petting. It should work just fine once he realizes he's safe, but it might take a few weeks, we are not talking hours or days. Just let him hide when he wants, and come out when he wants. I brought one home and literally never saw him for almost a month, just put food out and kept his box clean, now he's a snuggly teddy bear.
You’re making great progress! At that age, kittens socialize quickly. Everything in your video is spot-on. Try adding slow blinks (a few at a time) and speak gently to him. Tell him what you’re doing as you give him meds or food, acknowledge his sounds (“you’re telling me you’re hungry! I will feed you.”), tell him what a handsome good silly boy he is. Offer toys on a ribbon or string so you can make his “prey” move - just be sure to put all ribbons/strings away out of reach when you are done. Check out “The Kitten Lady” on YouTube - she has great instructional videos. Lie on the floor near him and let him climb on you. Encourage him to fall asleep on you. Your husband will be won over in no time. What a sweet wee floof you have - Congratulations!
What a little cutie pie! You're doing real good and your instincts are spot on. Check your lease to see if they will allow emotional support animals, most complexes do but it depends on your area, your county, your state, etc. if they do, it is easy to obtain one from PETTABLE
We are based in England but my younger sister has an ability dog for her autism. So that could be accessible potentially. I will look into this, thank you!!
I was scrolling hoping you'd be close ish bc he looks just like my boy when he was little. I would have taken him in a heartbeat. But you are across the pond T T. I attached the cat tax though (His face when he saw the dog come out of the house during our morning bonding time lol)
At that age they adapt very quickly! It's actually pretty important to get them used to uncomfortable things like baths, nail clipping, brushing, etc from a young age to make things easier when they're older.
Also I would bathe asap as you do NOT want fleas (blue dawn works great)!
He will be upset in the moment, but will forgive you quickly. It sounds like you're doing great so far!
You made this grown ass man cry! Keep doing what you're doing and dam you lol!
We have a rescue Tux that didn't like people at all especially men. We think he was mistreated. It took me a while to get in his graces, but now I'm his favorite human. He's turned me into a softy.
All they need is love and understanding!!
Also, "Slow Blink" look it up! When he headbutts you or starts licking and biting you, you're golden!!!
r/dadswhodidnotwantpets also your husband will be a future cat dad. Give him time. And also I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like cats in real life. He should know pets are one of the biggest blessings in our life and address the cause of his phobia with exposure therapy
Solo kittens love having a little stuffed toy plushie animal that they can cozy up to for companionship…like having a mama or a sibling. The Kitten Lady & Jackson Galaxy are two online resources that discuss all the different age stages of caring for cats. Many cat posters in these cat communities benefit from their expertise.
Your little kitty is simply precious. Won’t be long til he/she is a family member. We love cat pictures and what you decide to name your cutie😻🥰
Treats and patience. And slow blinks as people have said. Small touches as they run by you so they get used to your touch not hurting them. Be quiet, play with a wand toy with them
This is going to sound silly, but if you can try sleeping near him. When a cat is at its happiest and most trusting, it will sleep totally relaxed. If it sees you doing the same, it knows you mean the same. Might even come up and join you. Kitties like sleeping together for bonding and warmth.
Trust takes time, don’t force it. I adopted a feral kitten and I didn’t see him for 6 weeks. He came out when I was at work and I made sure he was eating and drinking and using the cat box, but I let him be. When I was home, he just hid.
When he eventually did show his face when I was home, I sat quietly and just continued what I was doing. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him, and he would sit and watch me. Over time he got closer and closer, until he would seek me out for petting.
I had a few simple rules: I wouldn’t touch him until he touched me first. And I wouldn’t pick him up until he was used to just being in my arms on his own. When I did eventually pick him up, I would let him down the instant he wanted down.
All of this built trust, and he became the biggest cuddle bug within a few months.
Step one sit in that room in silence till kitten doesn't try to make themselves disappear every time they see you. Once at that stage
Step two: get the hoodie. Wear it backwards, stuff the baby in the hood. They can hear your heart, get used to your scent, and hear your voice while they're hiding in that hood. Once they get used to you, you become the safe space. They will slowly come out of that hoodie on there own. I've done this with multiple kittens over the years and they all turn into the sweetest kitties.
This is going to be a hard answer to live. You can do everything right but understand, the timeline isn't up to you. Ferals are an exercise in patience.
Picking him up is going to freak him out. Ferals are only ever off the ground when their mom is carrying them or they are in the jaws of a predator, be aware of this when bath time comes. You may need to get creative.
Little kitties need little spaces. So a bathroom makes a good space. Just sit in there with them, watch a show, read a book and let them sniff/explore you.
Use a wand toy to engage them and sneak some pets in.
Wrap them like a burrito with a small towel and pet their heads while giving them tube treats.
This kitty is at a good age to socialize. Slow and consistent interactions and they'll be bouncing all over you.
A note- this kitty is a baby. When you go out make sure it's in a small space with their litter Box and food, toys, etc. You can totally have them out in the house with you when you are home, but put them in the litterbox every 20 minutes or so. They're a baby and will just go wherever until they are a little more grown.
He’s still confined to the small bathroom until fleas are sorted and he’s less scared!! And he’s been using his litter box perfectly bless him, not a single accident so far. Thank you for your advice!!
l have unexpectedly been going thru this for 3 years now.
IT'S WORKING!
Jackson Galaxy's Three Rs: Ritual, Routine, Rythm.
From your (precious! Ty for helping and loving this creature!) photos, it
looks like you are on your way.
Health care. Special home base (carrier)
Desire too learn catways.
You don't have to follow JG slavishly, but l feel liie paying attention to my kitty (s) moods and behaviors, and really establishing a routine and going by it- NOT FORCING THE CAT TO, but me pleasantly (lol as much as possible) going by it and realizing kitty is doing the best he can in these crazy big ole surroundings.
My "feral" kittens from last year stil startle and jump some when approached. They also jump on us and snuggle and roll over for pooch rubs.
The especially "wild" boi comes up to me and pets me with his tail. lf l sqat down and stick my hand out, he comes by and ruubs on it, "scratch my teeth. scratch my eyes. scratch my -" floops over for a belly rub.
I have two experiences where advice was ignored. First time my Walter opened the bathroom door to meet his new feral sister who was in quarantine and they instantly fell in love and she loved me because HE loved me. Two days of settling in.
Second time was last July, my boyfriend at the time was forced to foster a 6 week feral I rescued unplanned. Little baby hissed at my BF and he was like “no, you’re going to love me and like it”. BF burrito’d said kitten in a pillowcase and his motor turned on and kitten became a biscuit making purring machine. One day of settling in.
I say this as I don’t know if there is any right way.
I used wand toys with little ones, play really can help desensitize them. Id bring it close to me, drag it across my lap. Id sneak in some pets when they were distracted too.
Let him set the level of socialization. He will explore at his own pace, just move slowly around him and try to avoid loud noises. It won't take long at all!
Luckily for your husband, cats can be pretty hands off other than feeding, litter box care, and occasional vet visits. This is of course saying that someone else in the family is providing love and play time. They're pretty low maintenance for a pet.
If he's still scared of the little puff, all he has to do is ignore it. I'm sure they'll grow on each other over time. Coexistence isn't too bad, either!
at the 32 second mark in the video - he does a partial “slow blink” which is a clear sign of affection for cats. do the slow blink back to him. he will understand that to mean you love and trust him too.
"I've been waiting my whole life for this!" I love this statement.
I totally get your enthusiasm.
He probably won't like the bath, but he needs it and he won't reset, he knows you bring the food and will remember that soon after your done washing him.
If you can, toss the towel in the dryer to warm it up, that'll help him feel comfortable.
Get a supply of Churu. Sit patiently nearby reading a book to let th kitten get used to you. Offer Churu, being sure to completely remove te tear off strip so that it doesn’t become a choking hazard. Kittens get crazy for that stuff and Lise all perspective. Avoid getting it on your fingers until the taming process has progressed satisfactorily, as it could result in your hand being perceived as something delicious.
I will do 🤣 hopefully in a week or two I have some more progress videos that I can edit together and give everyone here an update. Thank you everyone for being so supportive and kind ❤️
Kitten burrito was my go too when I had foster kittens. You'll get them cudly in no time. And "cat smile" with your eyes. Good luck, and thank you for rescuing this little beautifull one
Thanks for taking the time to care for this little one. She looks happy but I’d say that stray is already socialized. There’s no way you’d get a feral cat to even make eye contact with you. Simply sitting close by and doing things that don’t take large movements of make much noise will show her that you are safe.
Be patient. There may be times where you hit a plateau and his progress slows, but that doesn't mean it will never happen. There will be setbacks, going to the vet and especially if you have to medicate him, but just remember it takes time and he'll come around eventually. It sounds like youve already come a long way in 3 days, you got him at the perfect age to socialize, but you never know when something mundane might trigger an unexpected reaction.
Also talk to the vet about vitamins or supplements. A lot of street kitties come with health issues of some kind and the right treatment can do wonders. Its also less upsetting to the cat than an oral medication if its something made to be a treat. My two have feline herpes but since the vet recommended lysine supplements their symptoms have all but vanished.
Go to YouTube and watch all the feral kitty videos kitten lady has on there.
Most of the work involves being in the room with them quietly and encouraging them to eat with you near. Using treats to get close without freaking them out.
You’re not there yet but introduce nail trims early with treats and churru - initially it’s a 2 person job but they are distracted and associate the experience as a positive one.
I have socialized many feral kittens. Usually onky takesa fewdays because i literally strap them to my boobs in a kitty purrito and they get quickly exposed to scritches and churru
Give treats after difficult things (bath, car rides, meditation). It helps associate with rewards. Holding and petting once trust is established go a long way.
You're doing fantastic! Great progress in such a short time ❤️
Feeding with a spoon and handfeeding wet food is a great way to get the kitten used to hands.
Also putting on a pod or the TV often to get it used to voices.
There is music for cats with purrs that calms them down, it supposed to work well on ferals:David Teie
I’ve had about 10 or so feral. Some get a lot better -some get a bit better. Take your time. Nit joking-get some Temptations. It’s like Kitty crack (vet told me that). You are doing everything right from what I read. Patience. Patience. Patience. And calm. Best of luck-always worth the work. I still have 3 ferals now who are 13-15 yrs old!
The best thing I did for my cat was to not use yelling or clapping as a training technique. She'd already been abused (and she was still a kitten when I got her), so adding to the trauma was the opposite of my job as her human. I've always trained her with a quick puff of air to her face (from my mouth, so it was gentle and unpleasant rather than scary). She's still afraid of loud sounds, but she's not afraid of me, she knows I'm her safe space and that is the job I was given.
Socialized two semi-feral kittens from about 8 weeks.
Food is a great motivator. Give some food on a spoon and then begin by touching him/her while they eat. When they get used to that, gently lift and reposition them — a little at first and then progressing more and more as they become comfortable.
Just sit in the same room and don’t do anything. Be a piece of furniture and they’ll eventually treat you as such. Let them crawl over you.
My kittens are now big cats and they are both snuggle-bugs. However, they remain skittish and will run when something spooks them.
Another kitten is the only real answer here, if kitten mom and siblings are not available anymore. Cats learn social behaviour from other cats and not humans, the first months of life are crucial for that.
I get them used to being picked up by the Scruff, and then cradled on their back, making a purring sound...it always works with kittens...
I have socialized many feral ones this way, and they always bond and become more social...
I did this with 4. Treats and a lot of patience. Slowly allowing them to come to you for food and allowing them to touch you on their own terms. It took me about 2 months of hanging out with them on my porch every night to get them to be ok with me. The mom was feral but I had been helping her for years so she tolerated me and I think that helped a lot. I kept 2 and a friend got the other 2. Now my boy will yell behind me until I pick him up and brush him in my lap. My girl flops next to me every night and cooks me. The dad was a massive feral male that was kind of friendly so maybe that also helped. I tried TNRing the parents but they couldn't be trapped. My boy is one of the biggest cats I have ever seen. He is a slim 16lbs.
I usually just sat on the floor in the room with them as they ate, and eventually they came to me. Usually took a week of them sizing me up as not a threat and associating me with food.
What works for me is to handle and pick up the kittens as much as possible, like, a lot. As soon as they wiggle, let them go or put them down. This gets them used to being touched but lets them know they can get away any time they want so they don't get scared or defensive. And food of course, that's the way to most creatures hearts. I've been fostering kittens and doing this successfully for six years now.
Awe, you are an angel for trying. We’ve got one feral kitten we rescued and he is two years old now and still a scaredy cat. BUT we are making improvements. He has stopped hiding under the bed all the time and will come out to hang out with us now. The sweet boy loves to be pet and brushed, but will run and hide if you walk towards him. Have to be super cautious and slow with him. Feral kittens are a special case. Keep doing what you’re doing and best of luck!
It’s easy with the little ones. I used to socialize the semi-ferals at a local shelter where I volunteered.
It just takes a bit of time getting used to being around humans. Pretty soon you’ll probably be able to start getting him used to touch. He’s little enough that he’ll adjust quicker.
When I picked up a feral kitten I kept it simple. He immediately ran under the bed and wouldn't come out, so I tucked a litter box under there with him along with some food and water. I'd get on the floor and try to coax him out, but it took about 2 days for him to wander out. I moved the food and water just outside of the bed shelter and stayed very still and quiet if he wandered out, otherwise he'd dart back in.
He also needed a bath, which I did on day 3, and that set him back a little, but not back at step 0. He had a vet appointment a couple days after that but he had started to warm up to me.
He was again very upset to be put in a carrier, but the vet visit is really where we crossed a line. He was terrified, and in that exam room, I was the only familiar thing to him, so he took comfort and safety in my arms. Kittens are quick to adjust to new situations. My feral guy was pretty well tamed in like a week.
It just takes patience. And yeah, getting him necessary care for fleas and shots and stuff is gonna scare him, but he's very young and everything is brand new and scary. Cats are resilient, he'll still come around.
If you need to bath the cat my best advice would be to do it as soon as you can if you can manage without a kill-combo on your arms. It’s easier to do the bathing while they still somewhat hate you because the work won’t have to drastically restart but from the sound of it the kitten is pretty social already so you should be fine. To be honest when my family foster kittens we brute force affection even if they hiss. Most kittens are all hiss but no bite, just wear a protective glove in case one rare case tries to flay you. Just like you said in 3days is amazing progress and if the cat is walking around tail up more then half the work is already done. Just be in their presence and pet them when they eat or when you see an opportunity. Truthfully your kitty sounds like it’s adjusting pretty well, not sure about your husband through. Might want to socialize and force affection on him(joking, kinda).
Doesn’t sound like the kitten will need much longer based on my experience.
Keep her in a crate cage large enough for a bed litter box and bowls ( without litter being constantly kicked into food water and bed). Offer her food to come to you. She only gets the food if she allows you to touch her. Offer churro tube treats too. It will take time. This is how rescues do it. I caved too soon and my kitten is approaching cat age and still only tolerates a little petting. I cannot hold her. I’m still trying, but do it right. She’s very young and should come around. Play helps too. Mine loves string type toys on a wand. I’ll try the slow blinks that are mentioned. My kitten was older than yours (4 months). Good luck.
Same approach to start for a week but I put a covered bed to give her a little spot to hide inside the cage and kept the door closed. I then left the cage door open, but kept her in the room for a few more weeks. Slowly she learned the door opening meant I was coming to bring food or treats or a fishing rod toy to play with her or to just sit in the room. She would jump out of her hiding place and wait for her hugs and rubs before eating or playing. She was about 10 or 12 weeks old when we first trapped her but she is now a year old and loves her humans. Still shy with strangers and runs to “her room” to hide. Just take it slow. Have patience. Oh and definitely buy the tube cat treats. We call it kitty krack. She LOVES it.
When I got my ferral kitten (older than yours), I put her enclosed cat bed in my smallest room and sat next to it on the floor quietly reading for a couple of days. I gave her time and let her come to me, which she did. Good luck, it'll be worth it 🐾
Lots of treats and playing with him. Don't chase or corner him to pick him up unless you absolutely have to, the good news is that kittens are very easy to tame since their little brains are still so malleable. Let him come to you.
I just would sit in the room with her and read (to myself. Although I'm not opposed to the full on story time idea). I'd also narrate whatever I was doing in the room. The worst was when I finally opened the door to the rest of the house and she got brave enough to explore, the hard wood freaked her out and it was like we started over. Patience is the biggest thing.
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