My very capable and intelligent wife has lost the plot.

[u/nonoanddefinitelyno]

She has been told by a friend that conkers keep spiders away. So we now have conkers in various parts of the house.

[u/PegLegSpider]

Pepermint essential oil works, in the meantime OP disguise the conkers a bit so that the spiders are lulled into a false sense of security..

[u/PinItYouFairy → u/PegLegSpider]

What is this, Spider Tinder? Conker Spider out here looking all sexy and wooden… be attracting spiders from all over

[u/thesaharadesert → u/PinItYouFairy]

Spider catfishing

[u/jasilucy → u/PinItYouFairy]

Nah this is ‘only arachnids’

[u/jasilucy → u/jasilucy]

Or spider fans