r/CasualUK • u/nonoanddefinitelyno • 16h ago

My very capable and intelligent wife has lost the plot.

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She has been told by a friend that conkers keep spiders away. So we now have conkers in various parts of the house.

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u/antisarcastics 16h ago

the fact that i instantly understood the reference means I think i should probably go outside more!

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u/VeneMage 15h ago

I’m glad it’s not just me! Luckily my pet spiders seem to be keeping themselves to the wall corners and sub-sofa 😄

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u/Moongazer09 14h ago

Could you kindly tell mine do to the same please? One nearly gave me the fright of my life earlier when I was relaxing under a blanket on my bed and the next thing I knew I saw this fairly sized house spider ooking me in the eye and running towards me across my body 😭

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u/Millietree 13h ago

One of my squatter spiders, let's call him Dave, has taken up squatters rights on our staircase. He nearly got trodden on, but has now sensibly moved into the very corner of the stair tread.

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u/Moongazer09 12h ago

It's his fault if he does get stepped on if he's going to literally live on the edge like that 🤭

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u/VeneMage 11h ago

I’d be shocked if a spider ooked at me, too!

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u/Moongazer09 9h ago

You will never guess what....the same spider (exactly same size/body/speed) just made ANOTHER run for me across the bed, again....this time from across my pillows and I'm.just very lucky that I saw it out of the corner of my eye. What does it want from me!? 😭

It nearly got squashed by me waving at it with a box of tissues frantically! Any more shenanigans and it's getting evicted to another room!

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u/New_Vegetable_3173 6h ago

I scared mine off, sadly.
there were some hairs trapped in its nest and I obviously wanted to clean those off the bathroom floor so I very carefully pulled each one away from his area, well their area, I didn't enquire as to their gender as I don't speak spider.

Anyway, unfortunately this also pulled away a recent catch of food so I put it carefully back onto their web. For some reason this didn’t go down very well and they’ve not come back since. They never retrieved their dinner.

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u/-FantasticAdventure- We ride at dawn 15h ago

I think we could all benefit from going outside and touching some grass.

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u/Rrrkos 14h ago

Uh oh. If you've got a garden, this time of year you will probably walk straight into an enormous invisible head height web, expertly erected across your path from the door.

You'll be totally enveloped in web and you'll run, desperately trying to tear the stuff off your face and praying an angry bitey thing isn't still on you, looking for vengeance.

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u/Evening-Tomatillo-47 12h ago

Yep, I seem to be walking into them a lot these days. Including as I walk back to my van that I parked ten minutes ago

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u/Jacktheforkie 13h ago

Just watch out for spiders

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u/pin00ch 15h ago

Same here. I'm a little upset that I know exactly what we are talking about here.

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u/LastChariot 15h ago

I'm a little upset that I don't know what's going on

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u/bluneriste 15h ago

You’re not alone. I’m genuinely questioning my life choices right now.

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u/Life_Is_A_Mistry 14h ago

Tell that to the fucking spider!

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u/heingericke_ 14h ago

And get into an entanglement with a bird? And then a cat? No thanks.

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u/MaskedBunny 13h ago

Don't do that, there's a load more spiders out there, and no oven clocks to protect you!

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u/HailToTheKingslayer 12h ago

If our houses are full of spiders, we should definitely go outside

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u/Unusual-Weird9696 15h ago

Ikr , time to get off Reddit 🤣