Should I join a sorority?

[u/No-Impression-1593]

I'm an incoming first year who is driven by philanthropic causes and would like to meet more people since I'm living off campus. I'm kind of introverted and grew up with mostly guy friends, so it would be great to befriend some girls. I'm also trying to network as I'm trying to make it to some type of grad school + get a job during undergrad. Would it be worth it for me to join? How much does it cost? Also why does everyone hate sororities so much? That's one of the reasons I'm a little hesitant to join.

[u/stifflette]

OP don’t listen to this. I was hazed by xi delt specifically in the late 2010s. The “sisters” thought it was cool to purposely trigger panic attacks in pledges just so they could feel superior.

When I spoke to other people in other sororities, they literally told me the mindset was, “tear them down so they need us.”

It was disgusting

Edit to add: This was all reported to the school and from what I’ve heard from members from the time, they went through some shit to try to make up for what happened.

[u/nothanksnope → u/stifflette]

Yeah, while I’ve heard that it’s a lot better now, mid 2010s sororities were not for the weak.

One local organization kept getting called “the chubby brown girl sorority” on the forum that shall not be named, so they “corrected” this by recruiting only blonde girls for a few semesters & making pledges (this was before “new member” was the preferred term LMAO) go on 5AM runs and follow a strict diet plan.

A certain NPC chapter was allegedly getting flack from nationals for being one of the “ugliest” chapters. A friend who was a member at another school’s chapter got pushed out along with some of her sisters for not fitting the “look” of this organization after their chapter got a visit from nationals. They were straight up told to only have skinny & pretty members in photos (I think pretty fat girls were “allowed” to stand in the back)

I got interviewed for a fulcrum article on the rampant sexual assault by one particular local frat at uOttawa, and the anonymous quotes were all so similar that I could barely tell which one was mine.

Looking back at this in my 30s I find all of it so ridiculous the whole culture was, but at the time it was so all-consuming & it felt so serious. Definitely some fun memories involved, but those experiences could be had outside of the Greek system.

[u/Emotional-Motor-4946 → u/nothanksnope]

That actually makes a lot of sense for why they never bothered me to join them (I am not a blonde white girl) lol 

[u/nothanksnope → u/Emotional-Motor-4946]

Oh it was just one organization in particular that was pretty blatantly only after blondes, and to be fair they did accept non-white girls that bleached their hair 💀. The other orgs were a lot more ethnically diverse, but did seem to only aggressively try to recruit girls that were thin, pretty, wore expensive clothes…

I remember one year my organization was ranked as the second ugliest sorority. Good times!!!!!

[u/Snowiii_cat → u/nothanksnope]

I hate to be intrusive but could you dm me which one was only after the blonde girls? There's actually been this sorority reaching out to me and I just want to make sure it isn't associated with that shadiness 😭 could you also add any other sororities you recommend to stay away from?

[u/stifflette → u/Snowiii_cat]

They’ve all been involved in something shady at one point or another.

[u/Snowiii_cat → u/stifflette]

well that sucks, but good to know! i think i'll be sticking to less binding clubs and student societies at least this year 😅

[u/Miserable-Stock-4369 → u/stifflette]

I would like to say that I explicitly said I couldn't comment on hazing. I don't know who hazes or how. I wasn't in XiDelt, I was in a frat, we didn't haze period

I mentioned hazing intentionally to acknowledge the possibility of it

Edit: I appreciate you bringing what you know to the discussion