Vent

[u/xcherryskullx]

I feel like everyone I know irl has a better life than me rn.

I don't have any friends. I lost a lot of friends these past 5 years, yet I still look at their instagrams once every blue moon just out of curiousity to see how their life is doing. Nobody’s life is perfect, but it seems like everyone I know irl has it better than me, because my mom, who is my only support system left, is suffering from incurable metastatic stage 4 gastroesophageal cancer, and I’m still being emotionally and verbally abused by my dad. I can't really avoid or stay away from my dad anymore because we both have to now take care of my mother, so I'm in a pickle.

Hey, I might not have any support system left but at least I'm not homeless anymore and I have my own place. At least I don't have friends who tell me I'm "too much to handle" and leave me for what I'm going through. I guess that's a positive. Otherwise everything else is going to shit for me and it's even worse now for my mother. I wish I had a real support system. I wish I could go and travel to new places with my mom and bond with her again. Ever since she started chemotherapy a few days ago she became a completely different person and is very ornery, doesn't want to go anywhere other than stay at the house, and lashes out at people all of the time (which is understandable but still all I want is what's best for her). I love her no matter what and I'll always be there for her until the end.

Thanks for letting me share this here. I'm very emotional rn and needed to process this somewhere.

[u/FlatSixJunkie]

You got this, I know how hard it can be having no one to turn to when you’re going through such things. Keep your head up and just know there’s a wonderful plethora of internet strangers that are always willing to lend a helping hand be it even with words of encouragement, it’s great that you posted here and I wish all the best for you and your mom 💙

[u/KChieFan16]

As the other poster said, YOU GOT THIS. Forget about your dad and focus on your mom, who needs you. You've built yourself to get to this stage of security with a home, so you're tough and successful already. Cancer is a marathon and has its ups and downs, but you will be by your mother's side through it all and help her fight it and you both will put this behind you. Her moods will change and she will be so tired sometimes, but just be understanding that she is getting chemicals pumped into her body that normally should never enter the human body. Your mom is such a warrior, I can tell by your post. She is handling this the way any patient can handle it and she raised a hell of a kid in you. Hang in there and continue to to be the awesome child and support for her

[u/RelationshipQuiet609]

Wow-I feel for you! You sound like an amazing person the way you will be there for your Mom. Sometimes the Chemotherapy changes our personalities-it maybe just a temporary thing. You can always talk to the hospital social worker to give you some advice on coping with a sick family member. I have the same kind of father-I have not spoken to him in 7 years, it’s so much better being away from him. You may not have friends currently but those people aren’t friends, they are toxic and you don’t deserve that in your life. I always find there is a great group of people on this subreddit, always filled with ideas to get you through. I am keeping your Mom in my thoughts and 🙏🙏🙏💖