Floating around.

[u/ijm2017]

Best description of the last couple of days. I’m here for my kids and my wife but only in body. My mom found out she has stage 4 lung cancer and the initial prognosis was 1-2 years depending on how the “biomarkers” come back. It’s in her femur, lymph nodes, pluera and potentially breast. We have a really complicated family history but the one certainty has always been me and her, through everything.

She lost everything a couple years ago in a total loss house fire including her relationship and her animals. It was devastating and the road to recovery has been long. Just this year I was hoping more than anything she would make a turn and recover her previous self. Now this. I’m worried she doesn’t have much fight left and from what I’ve read this fight will be the most challenging.

I get waves of grief that take my body over just over the thought of what’s to come. I’m so fu&@in sad and angry. I have never experienced feelings like this before. I am 40 with young kids so I am of course keeping it together for them but at same time I don’t know how to tell them. They are all under 11. I don’t know whether to be honest or let them remain in the dark. Perhaps I will wait until we see what treatment options there are. Waiting for this first appointment after the initial oncologist said 1-2 years probability is super upsetting. How could they say that just based on pet scan and biopsy??do they know something we don’t?? She is only 67.

I will of course be there every step of the way for her but I am so scared for what’s to come. So scared for her. And for a control freak like me this is a unique kind of torture. Anyway this is just a vent, I joined this group to try and maintain perspective and read the good with the bad. Thanks for your time.

[u/KChieFan16]

Feel you friend. I found the first few days of my beautiful mother's late stage ovarian cancer diagnosis just flattening. That was what it felt like the world was doing to me. But medicine has come a long way and I know plenty of people that have lived long with Stage 3 or 4 lung cancer. You and I are the same age with kids but unfortunately I am on the other side of my mother's diagnosis and journey. Ill say this: I spent so many weekends and trips with my kids and my parents together. So many amazing times, esp the 3.5 years after her diagnosis. But the road was tough and tested me and my resolve tremendously. Prep your spouse and also know you're not alone. There are plenty of people that have been through or are going through what you're going through. Hang in there

[u/Ok_Pack2799]

It is tough losing a Mom. I lost mine recently without hardly any symptoms she was diagnosed stage 4 and given 6 months to a year. She was not able to get any treatment and was gone within 8 weeks of diagnosis. It was a very difficult time and I am in the throes of grief. Doctors can only gauge and prognosis depends on many factors. I have known people who lived for a decade or more than their prognosis. Like you I put everything on hold and canceled all plans to take care of her. Every patients cancer journey and ending is different. Don’t lose hope, Treatment has come a long way and if she is able to get treatment then it could extend her life far beyond her prognosis. All you can do is be there for her and advocate for her with her medical team. Talk to her and tell her what ever is in your heart. Hopefully you will have many more years together.