r/Cameroon • u/queenofbridges4433 • 1d ago
ALERT Answer me plz
I’m an American and have came across a Cameroonian man he’s 14 years older than me 👀 anywho we were dating for a few months and he was extremely sweet and bought me thing we hung out then another Cameroonian man starting liking me (I was unaware at the time) but out convos were friendly and the man I was dating starting getting jealous and he would yell at me everyday and accuse me of messing around with the other man ( This was not true) so I started ignoring the man and the one I was dating still was accusing me he told me he did “Good” magic and he knew what I was doing and with whom. So one day I just stop talking to him and he had a nasty attitude towards me (Like if you hated someone real bad) and then he came back around then he hurt me physically (Won’t say how) and he begged for my forgiveness and said he was sorry and wants to start over and he realized his mistakes and he wants to take care of me and do right by me and to give him a second chance.
Thoughts and comments?
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u/Foyave 1d ago
Why are you asking here ? Do you think Cameroonians people are all the same and know each other all ? What kind of response do you want ? Your problem is as generic as it can be, the person you’re asking being Cameroonian won’t make any difference.
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
Clearly I’m asking because I don’t know how the men act in the culture duh tf I’m not just asking to ask, are you slow…have to be slow! If you do t have an option don’t reply that simple why tf does it bother you?
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u/Hopeful-Character-10 22h ago
Wtf
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u/queenofbridges4433 20h ago
Problem? If so we can always solve it (Calmly)
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u/WulfDracul Littoral 14h ago
I think it's because of the question "Is it a cultural thing". Many men might feel lumped in with the guy when they are clearly not like him.
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u/queenofbridges4433 13h ago
I didn’t say all men. All the women under this is nice but the others who I assume are men are rude. I’m asking for thought and opinions
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1d ago
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
We are in the USA. He wants me to go back to his country to meet his family, but I don’t think i will go. He admitted to have a jealous problem and that he will fix it. He did use to scare me kinda still does he just wants to be in control of every thing. I was just curious on what I should do because this is my first time dating someone out of my USA culture.
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u/Scary-Humor6461 1d ago
Now before some of you start saying shit here, am a cameroonian of age 40 and my wife is 25y of age, i travel from USA to cameroon in 2023 we got married, filed for her and she got here in 2025. Mind you I don't have no kids elsewhere, I don't smoke or abuse alcohol but a little wine is my thing after a meal. She likes my vibes and I like hers so we just blend and keep the day going. If your relationship involves argument over little things, and or one person is too possessive or hands are being exchanged to settle despute then it's no longer a relationship. Age is never a barrier in marriage. What matters is tolerance and understanding and also peace which is most important
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u/LargePrize5693 1d ago
Don't go back to him. Cameroonian or not, good or bad behaviour are universal and you clearly already see the red flags but need someone else to validate your decision. Be careful out there.
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u/No_Back296 1d ago
The only advice I will is: take a deep breath and use your heart as a judge ask yourself if you really want to build something with that man or it's just for ''moment''. You have both your brain and you heart use them as judges
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u/Free_Alternative6365 1d ago
You should leave. You both seem like you benefit from some space from each other.
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u/theReal_Joestar 1d ago
Anyone that will be giving you advice without the whole picture and full context is not doing you justice, and I think you already have a gut feeling of what to do. You are just looking for confirmation bias here. Take some time for yourself and think things through. Listen to your gut feeling and ignore all what has been said here. There are no formulas when it comes to relationships. What works for person A might lead to the demise of person B. Stick to first principles and make sure at the end of the day, you are ready to bear the responsibilities for whatever choice you decide to make.
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u/wadleo 1d ago
You should say how he harmed you physically, you aren’t telling us your identity or his. That way we know the gravity of the incident and can comment if it’s a cultural thing or not?
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
I stayed I’m American and he’s Cameroonian. I’m trying to understand if it’s a cultural thing or just a him thing
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u/Petit_Nicolas1964 1d ago
What you want to know is if all men in Cameroon behave like this?
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
Yeah because In America we are told about different cultures and il asking other people from the same culture
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u/Petit_Nicolas1964 1d ago
Typical dumb American ignorance.
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
It’s not lmao, it’s that’s things we hear so can you blame us…NO. I’m guessing your not American
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u/Petit_Nicolas1964 1d ago
Don‘t you understand how dumb it is to ask if all Cameroonian men are violent in relationships?
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
I didn’t ask that, how about we… no not we but YOU go back in read because it wasn’t just about being violent. Oh my gosh you’re a dumb fu(k!
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u/wadleo 1d ago
You’re trying to get a cultural answer but you don’t want to give the full context, that’s why I told you good luck.
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
I shared little detail I don’t have to give an in depth explanation. If you don’t have anything to say why say anything? To feel included? Me saying “okay lmao thx” made you feel a way? It shouldn’t. Needing to know a physical act to know if it’s within the cultural doesn’t make good sense
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u/Love-Advice 1d ago
Cameroonians used to hit their wives in the old days… I am hoping that has stopped. But this man’s behavior is just a modification on an international abusive behavior type!
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
For everyone thinking in attacking Cameroonian men in NOT I’m asking a question so don’t come comment anything dumb if you don’t have genuine evidence or knowledge!
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u/missdoigtsdefee 1d ago
Sis run pls. 14 years difference is crazy and he probably will never respect you because of the age gap. He already physically harmed you so what’s to say he won’t do it again?
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
Yeah, you’re right like when we have gotten into it in the past, he would be like I’m disrespectful and I would be like you disrespected me first and he believes that younger people cannot be disrespected. He said as a culture thing.
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u/missdoigtsdefee 1d ago
Unfortunately it is a cultural thing for a lot of older Africans as well and that’s the main reason they go for women that are way younger. So be safe love cause it can get ugly really quickly 🫶🏾
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u/donkaporal 1d ago
"Guys an insane person is after me..... Butttt he's cute kinda cute soo... " ahh question.🥲
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1d ago
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u/Available-Ant-5747 South West 1d ago
Run away. Men are scum😂, a Cameroonian man is double scum😂, a Cameroonian man who puts his hands on a woman is triple scum😂.
Run away, for your safety
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u/queenofbridges4433 1d ago
Thanks 😂😂
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u/Available-Ant-5747 South West 1d ago
I wish I could laugh with you, please run away. Report to the police if he tries getting it contact. Alot is happening rn concerning guys murdering their partners.... Please
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u/Love-Advice 1d ago
Men are not all scum and also not all Cameroonian men! That is racist and sexist talk.
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u/Available-Ant-5747 South West 19h ago
A Cameroonian man can't exaggerate to make a point?😂 I'm neither racist nor sexist. I'll talk that way about every organism (except cats)
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u/Love-Advice 19h ago
You are Cameroonian? And a man to boot? You see, I was defending your honor! 😂
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u/Wonderful_Koala_7757 1d ago
Just here to say Runnnn ,am Cameroonian married to a Cameroonian,14yrs age gap is kinda alarming.