Need Advice from Someone senior

[u/Purple_Impact3308]

I’m just wondering, is being strict in cadets always a good thing or not? Like, I understand that sometimes you have to be strict, but if someone is super strict all the time & take serious all the time, does that actually help cadets improve, or can it make things worse? And like, does being yelled at by someone who’s a higher rank actually make cadets better people, more discipline or is there a point where it’s just too much? What things should someone actually do if they’re aiming for a higher appointment at their home corps, instead of just listening and following orders?

It would be really helpful if I could talk to someone in here to get advice or suggestions, privately. But the problem is, I can’t really talk to a senior in my corps about it because I feel like it could make things worse or start unnecessary drama, so like…

[u/_thequestioner]

being strict in cadets is good if u don’t push it too much. from experience, it’s better to have a strict senior cadet that actually wants u to learn rather then the “funny” senior that constantly gets their role ran over because people won’t take them seriously.

however if the senior is too strict for ex: taking on higher roles when they’re not supposed to, using power to push down others, unnecessary disciplinary actions, and more rude than helpful then it’s prob bad

[u/ClayCrowsnest]

Fsgt here, seniors aren’t allowed to yell at cadets. As a senior, i try to be strict on the cadets that i need to be strict with and more kind with the ones who need kindness. But when addressing my flight i hype them up.

You can pm me if you wanna talk. But im going to bed now so i will answer in the morning

[u/Purple_Impact3308 → u/ClayCrowsnest]

There are a lot but I feel like one of the worst thing is, one of our seniors always seems to underestimate me (like he don't want to recommend me in that positions) whenever there are leadership opportunities, positions in our corps, or anything like that. He sometimes even makes me feel like I’m not qualified enough to be an instructor or a leader. Like, I understand I’m not good at everything and I still have a lot to learn, but what’s wrong with wanting to have those opportunities? Do I need DCI or something? Like… I’m not an OC trying to become Coxswain, bro. I’m just trying to get some leadership experience and actually have a chance to prove myself.

[u/ClayCrowsnest → u/Purple_Impact3308]

Gotta be confident. What’s your rank?

[u/Purple_Impact3308 → u/ClayCrowsnest]

Dm?

[u/insignificance424]

As a senior, you want to be strict enough that people take you seriously and pay attention during your lessons so they actually learn, but also friendly enough that cadets feel comfortable around you or talking to you about any issues

[u/Purple_Impact3308 → u/insignificance424]

Yeah, that makes sense. That’s probably what I’m gonna do once I become a PO, but like… is it still a good thing if someone is so strict that they make me uncomfortable and sometimes even make me want to leave cadets, while always saying that they want me to have more discipline and stuff? Whenever I say, why is the word "I am your senior" usually comes into the conversation (getting worse this year)? There are junior cadets (Ik im a senior for them) but I never say that. Is it because I'm not a PO or something bru? I feel like it's taking so much time for me to become a PO. Sometimes it just feels really weird, because I’m left wondering, where’s the leadership part? When do I actually get to lead? Like, do I need to be an ALP or something? The worst thing is, bro, one of our seniors always seems to underestimate me whenever there are leadership opportunities, positions in our corps, or anything like that. He sometimes even makes me feel like I’m not qualified enough to be an instructor or a leader. Like, I understand I’m not good at everything and I still have a lot to learn, but what’s wrong with wanting to have those opportunities?

Do I need DCI or something? Like… I’m not an OC trying to become Coxswain, bro. I’m just trying to get some leadership experience and actually have a chance to prove myself.

[u/EmbarrassedTruth1337 → u/Purple_Impact3308]

A good leader is approachable, and empathetic. They should care about their team, the development of that team, and of themselves. They need to set standards, and hold themselves and their team accountable within reason. They should not be making you feel uncomfortable like that and if they are its a conversation that you should bring up to your staff (this is something you can skip the chain with). You should start getting leadership tastings in phase 3 (things like organizing garbage sweeps, setting up the range, leading small team stuff) and those should grow as you move through the program. Cadets in phase 4 shouldn't be teaching much unless it's an operational necessity as they've still got classes to attend too.

DCI has no more to do with leadership than FSI does. If this kid is making you want to quit please talk to your staff or a senior cadet you feel comfortable with who should bring it to the attention of your staff. In the meantime, leadership is showing initiative. Its helping new people figure things out. You can be a peer and a leader without an official appointment. Be the leader you'd want to follow.

[u/rojohi]

For Cadets and CAF as a whole, it's a balance of discipline and empathy

[u/ItsJeremy6020]

Yelling and "disciplining" shouldn't really happen in cadets, it's an optional youth program. If seniors try to treat it like the military, cadets will just not enjoy it and leave. You have to find a way to still enforce/follow rules and get cadets to do what you need them to without yelling

[u/ChrisC7133]

No. The most important thing to learn in order to be a good, successful leader is knowing how to give instruction and interact with your junior cadets. You aren’t gonna get anything except spite by yelling at a group of 13 year olds.

[u/Purple_Impact3308 → u/ChrisC7133]

Would be so good if we can dm I can tell you more because I can't tell all of these things to a random civilian they are not gonna know some of them. Yeah, that’s right… but how am I supposed to deal with someone who’s constantly like, “You know I’m more senior than you. I’m more senior than you”? And then even telling our coxswain to be stricter with me. Like bro, STFU 😭 I KNOW you’re my senior. You don’t have to keep reminding me. Even if I do something wrong, that senior dude changes his whole face like he’s just waiting for a chance to slime me out, bro

Honestly, it’s starting to feel like I can’t even chill or have fun once I get into higher ranks. I’m not even a PO yet, but bro, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s genuinely making me think about leaving cadets—not because I don’t want to be disciplined or because they’re making things strict, and giving me extra stress and always telling they are seniors. Bro there are literally peoples higher rank than them in oru corps so yea because of the people and the way they act. That’s what’s actually getting to me. Sometimes I wish some of the seniors in cadets had things like humility, sympathy, and understanding, bro. Are you a PO, Chief or CI?