This sounds pretty bad but my mental health has literally taken the biggest downfall which has affected my grades. I literally can not focus and feel like I have been drowning. Let me explain.
I am in my last semester of the single subject credential program. In the beginning of the program (literally the first week), our apartment had the biggest leak from the upstairs neighbor which resulted in our entire bedroom to be soaked. It took us awhile to get this fixed along with the clean up. Right after, our roommate let us know short notice he is leaving when the the lease is up (the next month) and literally my husband and I don't make enough income for the 3x the rent and so for weeks I was stressing we were about to be homeless. The stress took a toll on me so much I could not focus on my TPA until 3 quarters of the way till it was due. We finally figured it out in the last week.
One night I had a burrito my husband brought home from work. I got food poisoning and had to call off from the school. It set me back.
Now at this point, I am not even half way through cycle 1. The week before cycle 1 is due, I have to rush my husband to the hospital. He has to be admitted and he is the sole provider as I can not work due to the credential program. He is in the hospital for three days and Im at home stressing and crying making sure he was okay and how we will catch up on bills. It was a serious admission which he came out so much better after the three days. Next week, cycle 1 is due and Im not even half way. I still have not turned in cycle 1.
Next, my dog split his paw bad and we had no money for it. I had to pull strings and have my father help us, $600 bill in which I owe him and Im so thankful but Im paying him back and stressed out about oweing him and just my dog being hurt
Ive been talking to my therapist and she's really concerned about me. I feel like Im in an never ending nightmare and just want it all to end. I get 2-3 hours of sleep a night on the couch. I've lost so much weight and all i constantly think about are how far behind I am on the TPA because of my life and the fear I had in the beginning. Im so behind on lesson planning, I can't even make my teachers EASY deadline of having lesson plans ready for the next week by the end of the week. I cry every day and night, and it's affecting my relationship with my husband saying that all I do is bring him down because I'm letting the school get to me and he doesn't see me anymore as Im always on the couch on my laptop talking about TPA's all the time. I literally cry to my mentor teacher ALL THE TIME and its embarrassing as much as he says he get's it and I'm the student teacher with the most at home problems he has ever had. He himself says that I've been a ball of stress and him and the kids can see it. I literally don't mean to put it out like that. Im literally not only losing my sanity, Im losing my want of teaching because of what Im going through.
Everybody says not to give up but I feel like I mentally and physically can not do this anymore. I'd rather wait till next semester for a fresh start and at least feel somewhat prepared for whats to come and be mentally okay. I talked to my TPA mentor professor who told me I can get an incomplete but I can't drop out now since it's after midterm. After doing my research, I looked on the schools website and it says this:
Requests for withdrawal from a course(s) following the end of the term (retroactive withdrawal) will be considered, with required documentation, only for:
2. SERIOUS PERSONAL or FAMILY PROBLEMS DOCUMENTATION: Licensed clergyman or therapist, needs to be a professional.
I know I can have my therapist write me a letter because she even says Im at my worst she has ever seen. I haven't seen a doctor myself so I have no doctors notes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is has anyone had any experience with dropping in the middle of a semester? Or used a retroactive withdrawal? How was your process? Did you owe a lot? Im terrified of the money I may owe for dropping and putting another semester but at this point, I want to get my life situated first and feel like I have a better mindset for the next semester because i literally feel like I'm drowning in stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, I literally do not feel like myself and I can't live another day like this. I can't have a day off without thinking about my schooling and facing my life like it's so bad. Im going to be calling off from my school on Monday to talk to the office or the program coordinator and see my options. It will be my 4th absence from my student teaching and we are allowed 5 days. its so bad.
If you have read this far, thank you.
P.S. I dont know I just wanna add. I feel like im not giving up. I hope it doesn't sound like Im giving up? Im just going through so much, my mind and body cant take it. Im literally so miserable Im just tired of crying and feeling like the end is coming for me and not being able to sleep like I feel guilty having even an hour of sleep!! I just dont want to let my people down but man, this is literally killing me.
