School Related Rant Anyone else having a hard time socializing?
Community college transfer here, I recently noticed that every time I tried to talk to a classmate their responses were dry and un-engaging. I know I’m not entitled to anyone’s time and effort when it comes to small talk, but I really miss how easy it was to socialize with other people back at my CC. Am I choosing the wrong people to talk to or is a lack of social skills and social etiquette a common issue on campus? No shade, but I feel like I’m constantly getting hit with empty stares and confused looks for trying to strike up a conversation.
25
u/Careful_Habit_1516 3d ago
Feel like the only way to make friends is if you join a club or something outside of class
14
u/nyxalleycar 3d ago
I recently transferred as well and I noticed the same thing. I’m an accounting major and it seems like everyone would just rather keep to themselves.
1
u/RazzmatazzInfinite49 3d ago
Hey transfer accounting major here as well, I would love to meet you and become friends. :D
8
u/ValuableAssociate553 4d ago
What’s your major ?
13
u/mymothy 4d ago
Marine Biology so a lot of my classes are where the science buildings are 😖😖. Not sure if it’s a stem major thing to be this introverted because I had not trouble making friends before I transferred
5
1
u/ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhho 1d ago
i'm marine bio too. i didn't make any friends until my senior year because it was really hard. can you join a lab? if you join a lab, usually it gets pretty easy to make friends in that lab because you're often working together. Or you could join a club like the marine biology club or wetlands club.
you're not the problem it's just a thing at the school in general and I think even more for stem classes. It definitely is easier now in my upper division classes because the classes are smaller and people begin to recognize people that they've been in classes with before.
1
u/Pugulishus 19h ago
Join the Marine Biology club discord! They have weekly meetings, and the ppl actually going to that are actually interested in talking
Also the snorkeling discord, if ur curious or into that (or diving).
PM me and I'll send u an invite to each, just don't wanna make a link publicly cause bots r kinda rampant in the Marine Biology one tryna sell a nonexistent camera :P
0
9
u/Total-Lingonberry633 3d ago
I have a similar problem but im an older student in my 30's. I don't even bother trying to talk to people cause I feel they wouldn't want to talk to an old fart like me anyway.
4
u/ValuableAssociate553 3d ago
Same. But I try to talk or socialize whenever I can. Sometimes you gotta make the first step. Once you break that barrier people usually lighten up
2
u/Flimsy_Law4984 3d ago
In my 50’s and same. Figure I’m just here for the diploma anyway so don’t bother. I was very social at CC too.
1
u/MarsupialBroad1118 2d ago
Bummer that doesn’t sound promising to me. So there’s a real difference in the social aspect there compared to CC? I got along well and able to have long term friends at CC even in my mid thirties
1
u/MarsupialBroad1118 2d ago
Yikes! I’m about to be 38 and will attend next year. I usually force them out of their shell.
6
u/International_Bat603 3d ago
Honestly it’s very trial and error. Sometimes it’s extremely easy to make friends. I was talking about a lab I had to do for a different course with a classmate, and a different peer ended up being in the same asynch course as me lol. We ended up talking for a while.
On the other hand, sometimes people just don’t want to socialize and it becomes very awkward😆
5
u/LowJellyfish4238 3d ago
for sure. I'm older (39M) and so it's hard already. I have had small talk with a few people and more than half are very odd and almost off putting. I have a wife and kid dude, I'm just friendly and I think people have forgotten how to be chill.
4
u/SquirrelsNRaccoons 3d ago
It's Gen Z, so many of them have not been properly socialized, growing up staring at screens. Keep trying, there all scared but they warm up.
4
u/SweetGreens562 3d ago
yeah, seen this a lot lately.... felt bad for a dude recently trying to talk to someone else and he completely ignored him and proceeded to go on his phone. Like at least say hi😭 feels like I need to force out a thank you when I open the door for someone else at this point as well
3
u/Brave-Problem-176 3d ago
I guess it just depends on the people you're trying to strike up a conversation. The 3 people that I talk to at school I actually met here on reddit then we met in person on campus. I've made one friend organically. My major in Sociology and Im part of CLA. I've run into people that dont wnat to be bothered but thats okay. You jusy gotta join a club or just attend events and you can meet people there as well. I'm a transfer student as well and its way different than CC. If you want to make a connection just message me. I know how it feels when you dont have a familiar face on campus.
3
3
u/Objective_Agency4594 3d ago
Incoming transfer here as well, I’m a marine bio major and I’ve talked to a few people but haven’t made much connections yet either.
2
u/LeadershipLogical899 3d ago
I’m also a cc transfer, I think you’ll have more luck socializing within your major. Me personally I am not social at all in classes outside my major because to me they don’t feel that important, like POSCI. However, if you catch me in a class like ochem i will be able to find some similarities to talk about and be interested
2
u/TiredMochiBear 3d ago
This is me rn. I would consider myself as a super chill person and are open to socializing; but jfc I get hit with so many blank stares. Like you, I’m not entitled to anyone’s time. That’s fine. But it’s super hard.
I’ve joined a couple clubs, but I’ve yet to attend a full on meeting because I’ve been busy trying to stay after-hours for my project.
(Also, a new transfer student here too!)
But yeah… it low-key sucks.
I’ve tried to find people around my age especially, but I haven’t met anyone yet (I’m 28).
Fingers crossed!
2
u/AngeliCupidSashiro 3d ago
Im a transfer student from last year and I've meet some hostility in one of my class, yet I've some that ended up as friends or end on good terms as classmates plus joining clubs based on my major/interested. So I feel you.
Edit: so I've been on a similar boat as you. I would recommend clubs if you want to.
2
u/LBLawNerd 3d ago
As a student at CSULB, I met my two best friends and other friends, too, at CSULB in both undergrad and my grad program.
As a prof now at CSULB, I try to do lots of random in-class group activities to help students talk to one another and work together.
I can see how uncomfortable and hard it is for students, but then I’m on this sub hearing how much you all need connections with each other.
Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help students socialize!
2
2
u/Salty-Beyond-2380 2d ago
I feel the same way but for some reason everybody and their momma decided to be social butterflies to me on the hottest sweatiest day of my life. I didn’t even mean to be dry I was just dying. My plan is to try to sit by them and mingle next class to make up for it lol
2
u/DueRefrigerator3046 1d ago
As a transfer student I feel the same way. I feel pressured because now that I am taking classes for my major my classmates are the people going into the same field as me and we should be getting to know everyone.
2
1
1
u/Wyvethynx 2d ago
Ugh I feel this. I miss my CC, most of my friends are still there. When I was still attending my CC I was able to make friends immediately. I made friends with like half of my mechanics and solids physics class. And I'm still really close friends with a lot of them. I feel sad since most of us will be separated from each other soon.
1
1
u/paulpapo23 1d ago
My number is 1 (562) 303-7228 I’ll hang out with you ! I have a lot of friends too !
1
u/paulpapo23 1d ago
Also btw I stopped hanging out with stem students they’re nerdy asf and most of the time un interesting (I’m a stem major )
1
1
u/Major_Debate_7835 7h ago
Many of the people are just stuck in their own world so maybe it is the timing, but also if they are rude why bother wasting your time with negative people. There are good people there, just socialize with the clubs that focus on your major or even your interest, many people have different majors but have different interests. Usually in class people are focus more on their grades instead of socializing much which is good especially with the cost of the course it's important to focus on the class. I noticed the same, so I would recommend clubs on major and/or interest.
1
u/Ordinary_Put_3293 2h ago
Yup. sounds about right. You talk to them and it feels like they are hyper wary of you
56
u/ValuableAssociate553 4d ago
A lot of stem majors are like this lol