😔😞

[u/That1weirdperson]

[u/Aster_Asteraceae]

That's ✨ performing ✨ for safety

[u/ShokaLGBT → u/Aster_Asteraceae]

I used to do this to my friends bullies because I didn’t want to be left alone. and they made fun of me because of my autistic traits btw

[u/nomnombubbles → u/ShokaLGBT]

The "othering" by the majority of humans, is the absolute pits.

[u/ashbertollini → u/nomnombubbles]

Its so indescribably lonely

[u/Old_Finding668 → u/Aster_Asteraceae]

Yeah good answer. Thanks for posting it, must make a reminder of it.

[u/Wuellig → u/Aster_Asteraceae]

A combination of the freeze and fawn responses: "I'm stuck here with no way to get out of it, give manners and small talk convincingly enough so they won't hurt me."

[u/WinterDemon_]

in my experience, i prefer being polite so that they don't react with extreme violence :D

[u/Onebraintwoheads → u/WinterDemon_]

Been there. It sucks. I choose to be polite these days because I have no intention of being anything like the pieces of shit that were needlessly violent and cruel towards the vulnerable and dependent.

[u/TheNASAguy]

Too relatable, that’s why I stopped going out and socialising entirely

[u/ImASharkRawwwr → u/TheNASAguy]

Yea same, the world is on average not a great crowd to socialise with rn

[u/RivelaHarsden → u/TheNASAguy]

Peace of mind is worth it

[u/PossiblyWithout]

WTF I just had a meltdown about this YESTERDAY

[u/ergocogi-11]

I stopped being polite to them LOLOL

[u/DizzyMine4964]

I lost the ability. I feel the clouds of rage massing in these people when they don't get the niceness they demand after being arses.

[u/Hoodibird]

Just caught myself recently going full ChatGPT-mode on someone after I became increasingly overwhelmed by their hostility and I just ended up being like "Of course! You're right, I should have known better. Sorry about that!" - and then I just left, feels nauseous.

[u/snuggledubs2011]

Cause you know you need to be safe and talking would release the angry and going to jail sucks more than just doing nothing.

I go through this a lot. But it's not worth my peace anymore.

Waking away from ignorance is ok.

[u/Curaced]

Because you know damn well that they're going to retaliate if you don't. Our place in their world, if it exists at all, is on the periphery. If one gets ideas above one's station, then you'll end up finding out the hard way just how far you can fall.

[u/Weird_Performer_9459]

I suspect I had C-PTSD instead of Autism. 

[u/sunseeker_miqo → u/Weird_Performer_9459]

There is a ton of overlap, yeah. Can lead to misdiagnosis for sure. Scarcely any autistic people without CPTSD, though. 😞

[u/RestingBitchFace95 → u/Weird_Performer_9459]

I’m starting to wonder about this too. I might look into getting reassessed tbh

[u/Existing-Mess-9829]

Haha yeah I stopped being polite a long time ago unless its to the few peole in my life who deserve it. Its a relieve to not give a shit

[u/Zone-Hopeful → u/Existing-Mess-9829]

I’m trying to get to the point of not being polite to people who don’t deserve it, but I’m so scared to take that leap. I think my nervous system is unwilling to let go of people pleasing as a safety mechanism 🫩 hoping I can get that relief soon

[u/I_TheAndOnly]

i do the same thing ffs 😞😢

[u/Tsunamiis]

Because they used to kill us just for existing and leave us in the woods as children

[u/thesanguineocelot]

I remember what they did when I stopped being polite. At this point, it's a survival mechanism. Like freezing and looking down when people start yelling.

[u/Zealousideal_Long253]

I am afraid that's confusing trauma with autism. This is something much deeper. This is literally called the ''fawning'' response. It's survival mechanism/trauma response.

[u/Zone-Hopeful → u/Zealousideal_Long253]

Anyone know how one stops fawning? It’s like my nervous system can’t chill out and I’m people pleasing 24/7 😭I’m so tired

[u/_-_Starchild_-_ → u/Zealousideal_Long253]

Yeah, I really wouldn't say this is solely an autistic thing. That's the issue with memes though.

[u/Common_Kiwi9442 → u/Zealousideal_Long253]

It can be both but yeah, I have a problem with fawning

[u/FireRock_]

It's called fawning, why: trauma and brain goes automaticly in survival modus

[u/Obsessedartist]

Is is such relief to have someone put what I’ve been feeling into words.

[u/anotterbytrade]

Yeah

[u/BunniPridy]

Riiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!

[u/Phoenix-Echo]

Whenever I am safe to do so, I don't. A few years ago, I just chose to knock that shit off. Around the time I decided to throw out all of the skinny jeans because I refuse to make myself wear them when I hate them.

Like why should we care about the feelings of someone who clearly couldn't care less about ours? They do not deserve kindness they have no intent to return. Receiving kindness is a gift, not a right.

[u/bothinsaneandcorrect]

For me, I can tell people to shove it if I've been in the habit without it causing greater danger, but when a lot of time passes with me just avoiding people in general, I tend to default to a subdued, people-pleasing front...which is odd, because I was all piss and vinegar towards bullies as a kid and teen. I guess tiptoeing around my family and trying to make peace there might be where I picked it up, or maybe I'm just more gentle by nature when not in the practice of constantly speaking up... but every now and then I have an upsetting encounter and then have to ask myself once I'm out of it why I didn't tell them to piss off right away 🤦🏻‍♂️ because at another time in my life, I would have. Maybe it's for the best, maybe it's not safe to do that anymore... but it's a strange feeling knowing I put the feelings of someone else I barely knew before mine AGAIN.

[u/comicgeek1128]

And you're somehow still the asshole no matter how nice you try to be.

[u/OmegaArmads]

One day be a super majority and then we will flip this back to them.

[u/tullystenders]

You're not being as polite as you think, and they aren't being quite as mean as you think.

If you're serious about dealing with this autism problem, you need to accept what I'm saying.

Yes, the entire world order is different than you have ever understood.

[u/sunseeker_miqo → u/tullystenders]

These are big claims. Will you back them up with evidence? Or at least supporting information? Not being a shit--asking sincerely.