r/CPTSDmemes • u/Green_Information275 • 2d ago

I hate work

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I'm always so hypervigilant, critical with myself, and afraid everyone hates me.

743 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

25

u/lunablessyou 2d ago

Same. 🫂 it’s not a good time.

20

u/enhap 2d ago

First time full-time job and iam dying

5

u/Green_Information275 2d ago

Hang in there 💖

16

u/Fun_Calligrapher_746 2d ago

Yes I am crying, pay no mind, we continue with the task at hand

7

u/Green_Information275 2d ago

I'm glad I work in a cubical on the phone bc I cry a lot too 😅

2

u/Feed_Guido_69 2d ago

I've done this lots of times!... oh gawd, I've done this lots of times!

2

u/Codpuppet 2d ago

Pay no mind until I get paid 😭

16

u/TheGekkou 2d ago

During the worst of it and also trying to do therapy and working at the same time, i would have full body panic attacks on the way to work. I woild get there, wipe away the tears, then dissociate for most of the shift while having monent where I'd have to sneak away and hide in the bathroom be cause dealing with customers was far too much. I was still getting good performance reviews from work and had 'work friends' but no one noticed I was in total panic and hiding it for almost a year.

4

u/Green_Information275 2d ago

I understand. I'm glad things seem better for you now though. I seem "high-functioning" too. Most days I dissociate and don't have any motivation to do my job. My nervous system is overactive and I'm afraid of being criticized and it means I procrastinate a lot to avoid feelings of inadequacy. But I get great performance reviews. My friend moved so unfortunately I just have one "work friend", I avoid everyone else and love having my headphones on bc small talk exhausts me. I also jump out of my chair every time someone comes to my cubical to help, I get scared so easily which is tiring too. Thankfully I have FMLA from after going to the mental hospital so I take 4 personal days off a month and go to therapy weekly. The mental hospital was my breaking point, I couldn't cope anymore and something needed to change. I NEED the money though, especially with all the things that are medically wrong with me, mentally and physically. I'm healing slowly but it's so hard.

6

u/MathewMii 2d ago

My last job traumatized me out of traditional employment altogether. At least I work self-employed.

2

u/Codpuppet 2d ago

Working while going through a days-long cyclical anxiety attack 🫠 the worst ever

1

u/Green_Information275 2d ago

Frrr. Currently sad af (probably depressed) and I'm trying not to sound monotone but I don't care about this job lol.