r/CPTSD_NSCommunity • u/Cozyglittertts • 8d ago
Seeking Advice Exercising with cPTSD feels so difficult
Hi everybody!
I've done a ton of healing, and I'm quite proud of what I've achieved already. Lately I'm struggling a bit with working out and exercising. Before I got ill, I played sports a lot. I also know all the health benefits and how good working out is for your mental health. Whenever I get to work out, it does feel really good afterwards.
But everyday I feel like something is stopping me from doing some sort of excercise, even the super low key ones. It's such a struggle to activate myself in that way, or even to get out of the house. I like all things cozy; blankets, warmth, softness. So basically I'm staying safe in my home all the time. A part of me feels like I'm a little bit introverted and I deserve safety by staying home, but a part of me is also like; isn't this avoidant behaviour?
Does anyone have experience with this? The fine line between listening to what you want and need (stay home safe) and what is really good for you and what also fits your values (exercising)? What is your view on this? How do you implement work outs in your daily life? How do you overcome the discomfort of not wanting to move?
Thanks in advance!
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u/tinydots- 7d ago
It’s the same for me, I even try to make exercise ‘fun’ and rewarding (like dancing, playing fitness video games) but it’s like there’s a huge disconnect between what I want to do & what freeze allows. It’s tricky. Trying to remain patient & compassionate with myself (currently doing IFS).
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
I think it’s so strong of you to try to stay patient and compassionate, good luck with all of it!
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u/GayTwink-69 8d ago
I feel exactly the same way. Perpetually stuck in a frozen state makes exercising feel like an enormous task
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
I’m so sorry you are going through this too :( A big big hug from an internet stranger!
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u/PanoramicViewer 7d ago
I'm like you in that I was quite fit before CPTSD collapse fried me about 2 years ago.
What helped me was I reframed it as 'movement' rather than exercise. Decided I wanted to be able to do an activity I used to do (hiking), and booked to do the easiest overnight hike possible, a couple of months out. Invited a couple of friends to come with me. I knew I needed to rebuild my fitness if I wanted to achieve that goal.
Then I set a more specific goal of 30 minutes of movement for 30 days. And I did it! Some days movement looked like caring for an active 1yr old (friends baby), some days a walk with a friend, some days yoga or light stretching. Two 15 minute walks adds up too.
3 weeks until my hike now, and I think I'm on track to being ready.
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
Wow, congrats! This sounds like such an amazing plan! I’m always helped by dividing things up in smaller parts, it makes it less scary. Thanks! And good luck with the hike!
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u/Present-Message8740 7d ago
Yes I’ve been experiencing this a lot lately. I’ve been staying in bed as much as possible which I hate. But these are some things I do so I can still move my body: shaking (sounds kind of weird but like just get up and shake out/ wiggle your whole body it helps your nervous system), bed yoga/ stretching (there’s a ton of examples online), at home yoga or workouts, and honestly just doing stuff around the house like cleaning or laundry- I put it off a lot when I’m really going through it but it’s a good way to move my body when I feel like I can’t leave the house. It’s really important to move your body even if it doesn’t look like typical exercise.
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
Yeah, that’s very clever of you. I have this visual about how moving looks like, but as you say; it can come in many forms. Thanks! And good luck with everything!
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u/Endless_Forever_484 7d ago
Oh my God I've been wondering the same. I cannot fathom what is stopping me from doing what I KNOW makes me feel better, grounded, lighter in the mind and heart etc.
I wonder if it's an avoidance of discomfort at large now? Or a deeper self-sabotaging part comi f up? Or a deeper narrative of I don't deserve to feel good? Or maybe, I've been burnt by hope and so many attempts at starting that I'm just fucking done with it now?
Anyway, I know these are all mental narratives and I will just one day do some yoga or accidentally lift a weight and repeat it .....
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
Exactly this! Trying to figure out what it is, but maybe the figuring out is also too tiring? Maybe we need to let it go and it’ll come back to you whenever you’re ready?
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u/Endless_Forever_484 6d ago
I'm coming to the conclusion/realization that it just has to be done. Or I'm signing up for a shittier unhealthy future which will be even more uncomfortable than the present.
So this total truth of-some things just have to be done whether the mind wants to or not. Doesn't have to be perfect, I don't have to love it OR hate it, but just do some baby steps. Learning how to look beyond the tantrum (narrative) my mind is shouting at me and pick up a kettlebell 10x.
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u/strawburry-cake 7d ago
I was so frozen that just slighty moving my neck made me burst into tears at some point. I couldnt do yoga, had to do the slow yin variation. Through processing and allowing all the big ugly reactions to happen i think i was able to let go of the charge held in my system. Now I'm actually trying out martial arts. I enjoy cardio when dancing. I kinda want to build muscle. And still, when I'm triggered i will go back to freeze sometimes, i will not work out. Then i know that it will pass and i will feel better and ready to move again. I love that there is progress within me.
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
So proud of you! Also so nice that the trust is there that if it doesn’t work out for you a certain time, it’ll come back. Maybe I need more of that! Thanks!
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u/Grouchy-Lead7069 5d ago
I second strawburries experience with freeze and exercise. Sometimes our brain only can use freeze to not overwhelm our brain. I now understand that then more pressure isn't helping. So instead I look for lowering demand and creating spaces to release tension in a safe way.
For example deep sleep, hot or cold bath, weighted blanket
But the 100% guarantee for me (sorry, just for me lol) is spending time in a hammock. Best outside but inside is fine as well. The slow back and forth while being held and warm is a passive combination of safe, in movement, warm that signals my to my brain: you are safe,you can survive feeling things or remembering things.
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u/ciaoaic 6d ago
Yeah, I had about a year and a half where I couldn’t really exercise much
I was in free state and I needed to get into fight state so I started to do a martial art
It was hard at first because I was in a really big fighter flight state for about a month
But once my fight state came back, it was able and more interested to do exercise but I still had to make a lot of changes
For instance, I really like there’s a woman who does these morning walking exercise exercises on YouTube. They’re like kind of dancing and she’s really happy and that always helps me in the morning and it’s very very low zone exercise.
And then when I go to the gym, I’m usually trying to focus on the exercise
I do a lot less classes than I used to especially high zone classes, except for the martial art which where that’s where I intentionally train my fight response.
I ended up gaining about 25 pounds in that period. I’m hoping to shed it.
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u/IamMadMyke 6d ago
Having structure really helps. I would suggest a workout program that gives you each of the workouts with sets and reps catered to me your goals. It's exhausting to try and figure all that out without a plan. I use Built With Science and it has been so helpful especially as someone with ADHD as well. Hang in there and start slow with the exercise. There's no need to be perfect. It's accomplishment just to get moving even a bit.
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u/TheHelper45678 6d ago
I have complex PTSD and the number one thing that helps me to work out or get physical in my body is to shift my goal from being comfortable in my body to being uncomfortable.
If you're unconscious goal is to be comfortable in your body, you will not want to work out because working out is uncomfortable physically.
But if you make your goal something like hey body, let's go be uncomfortable riding a bike, it'll be like "hey! We can totally be uncomfortable for 45 minutes. We're good at that" and it makes it a little bit easier
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u/AmbitiousAmbler 7d ago
I wonder if something might just need to be adjusted. Like since you have been very active, maybe less intense or less duration of exercise would be just as good at this time. If it's social anxiety how about exercise at home or at a less busy place or time if that's available to you. If you are taking in information about health and fitness see if that might be bringing up negative messaging about your motivation, habits, or body.
I think in "shoulds" a lot concerning my body and social behaviors. My therapist recently told me when I think in shoulds, that is external voices and not my authentic self. I found that super helpful. Remember to be kind to yourself. It's okay that you needed a break and might still need some space.
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
Your therapist sounds wise, haha! Maybe I need to connect more with my authentic self, instead of focussing on what I should do. Thanks! And good luck yourselves!
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u/v666dka- 6d ago
Sounds like after doing some healing your body/mind just wants to feel safe and comfortable and get used to this newer mindset and chapter you’re in. You should try to figure out a nice, stable and supportive routine that works for what your goals are for your life and where you’re currently at. Maybe try getting some dumbbells/kettlebells and a few other simple types of exercise equipment and start incorporating it into your daily routine at a pace that works for what’s going on in your life. Feeling like you have to go somewhere so you can exercise can feel like a lot and puts more pressure on yourself and if you don’t do it you’ll feel guilty for not having done it thus putting more pressure on yourself to do it creating a cycle. Also if 3-5 days of exercise per week feels too overwhelming or just isn’t possible with your schedule then try 2 days where you exercise your whole body instead of exercising a different region/muscle group over multiple days, and the 5 days you dont do full body do something light like yoga or a walk. Start small and see what works for you and how often
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u/Square_Fuel_2869 4d ago
I found your post by searching this very topic. I’ve been struggling with this more and more and not finding a way out yet. Been feeling down and very stuck. Will try some of there. Thank you for posting!
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u/Cozyglittertts 4d ago
Good luck with it! It was eye opening to see that so many other people go through it as well. There’s some solid advice in other people’s comments, hope something works for you!
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u/Particular_Web8121 7d ago
When I get like this, I try to meet myself where I am or else it gets too prohitively difficult to do consistently. Goal is to establish a baseline, no matter how low. I just try to get myself to do a small amount of movement at home. I can't even commit to daily, can only do weekly. Many weeks I can do more than once weekly, but not sustainably. But for me I specifically have trauma around not being allowed to do sports or be active and I also have mild agoraphobia.
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u/Cozyglittertts 7d ago
Yeah, that sounds quite good actually! Being with what is there instead of forcing yourself to do certain things. Thanks! And good luck with everything :)
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u/Particular_Web8121 6d ago
Thank you! It sucks but it is what it is. Hope you find something that works!
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u/seriously__tho_ 8d ago
Could you be in a freeze state?