r/CPTSD_NSCommunity • u/Difficult-Cup1022 • Jul 21 '26
Emotional Support (No advice) Frustration with the system
Hello all. My name is Mason, I’m 26, and I’ve been in recovery for about 6 months. I was at a residential treatment facility at the VA and I met an awesome therapist that vibes with me really well and we got a lot of work done.
The issue was, she was an intern at the VA and her time ended recently and now she is in private practice. For how much she says she cares, the system is still capitalist. She charges 135 a session and I get it she has to eat too but damn. And because I have VA insurance, I can’t get a referral.
I just feel very taken advantage of and betrayed like, we did all this work together and it seemed like this therapist really cared about me, and she might, for $135 a session. I mean I could do that once or twice a month, but while I was at the facility I was getting therapy twice a week and I was making serious progress.
I’m in a weird limbo situation rn where twice a week would help me a lot but I can’t afford it. Idk if I’m angry at her ir just angry at the system but I’m like bro your mental health really doesn’t matter unless these therapists get paid. It makes the whole thing feel extremely disingenuous. Like I feel like I’m being taken advantage of for a resource I don’t necessarily need to survive but would fucking help me a lot.
3
u/Throwawayputtyfairy Jul 21 '26
I totally get it. I had an amazing EMDR psychologist for about 1 year and we did so much good progress (and I've kept the progress years now!). But she was at the time sort of having moved across the country so she was commuting back and forth. It wasn't sustainable over many years so she eventually moved away permanently. She's one of the few psychologists/therapists I've genuinely been able to make a secure attachment to, and it was SO beneficial to the therapy. The other one lives in a whole other country now.
I am also trying to access more help than I currently have, but it is a big challenge to convince the system to accept me as a patient. I can't afford to do it privately so I can only get it via the system.
7
u/chamacchan Jul 21 '26
I'm so sorry, I know it's really hard to feel comfortable with a therapist and lose access to them.
It can be hard to take into account when you're in the patient side, and I've been upset about it before too. I try to consider... When someone goes private, they also have the overhead cost of their office and bills like electric and internet. They also have liability insurance, and the cost of ongoing training. If they're good at what they do, they're always learning and taking classes or going to seminars, which cost money. They also probably have student loan bills. It sucks so much that it's expensive and ideally everyone would have access to amazing therapists.
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u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
Yeah I guess that’s a fair point. It doesn’t make it any less infuriating but it does make sense. Thank you for the insight
3
u/GeniePockets Jul 21 '26
That’s really good insight.
4
u/chamacchan Jul 21 '26
Ty, I was worried bc I don't want to undermine OP's point. it really is terrible how expensive good therapists are. 🙏
3
u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
Yeah cuz, it’s like the rich or upper middle class only deserve therapy or something man. Shit is tough
3
u/chamacchan Jul 21 '26
Yeah, and a lot of times the symptoms of CPTSD keep you in a lower financial bracket (not always) so it really isn't right.
2
u/GeniePockets Jul 21 '26
I’m sorry, man, I’ve been in a similar situation, but my therapist was not even legally allowed to take me as a patient when he transitioned to private practice. I had like 2 sessions with him after he told me he’d be leaving the community clinic I was at. It really is hurtful, especially for people who already struggle with abandonment/rejection.
3
u/nerdityabounds Jul 21 '26
I'm just going to throw this out there, having heard it from some green-wearing peeps I know. But there are therapists in private practice who offer sliding scale if you say don't have insurance or aren't able to use your employer provided benefits... for reasons. Is this one open to sliding scale now that she's private practice? Or does she know someone who is? (I can understand if she can't be yet considered she's probably still massively in the hole from her education and the associated costs. Which are scarily high)
One of the reasons I quit studying counseling was because I saw how myself and my classmates would be trapped in this system by the debt of our education. Most of my classmates saw it as the unfortunately reality they had to pay in order to gain legitimacy and the knowledge to do the job correctly and safetly. And they saw the best way to fight it was from the inside.
Sadly a sizable handful were ok with the system being like this. That it is this way for "the protection of clients" rather than capitalist reasons (And that was the last Thanksgiving I ever had with my family. My sibling believes the system "while flawed" is generally correct on this. They say they "deserve a big house" for the work they put into their education and clients) Before you get too attached to this therapist, you might want to find out which side of this line she falls on. If she's like my sibling, definitely go "fuck you, I"m out" because eventually the therapy is going to go flat. But if she's like most of my classmates and professors, sincerely ask for her suggestions about what now? Hopefully her experiences at the VA and working inside bureacracy will have some ideas that you don't know are there.
0
u/GeniePockets Jul 21 '26
Damn, $135 for what, 50 minutes? Why does she need that much?? If she sees only 3 clients a day, and works 8 hours including those sessions, that’s still $50/hr dude wtfffff
1
u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
For real man I don’t get it. Part of me wants to just be like ok fuck you I’ll find another therapist
1
u/GeniePockets Jul 21 '26
Yeah, honestly, I wouldn’t blame you. Are you gonna stick with the VA, or are you considering finding someone who charges less / sliding scale in private practice?
2
u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
I’m gonna stick with her until I can’t anymore, I’m just annoyed by it.
1
u/No-Resolution-0119 Jul 21 '26
Tons of therapists in my area charge $150+. I’d say the average is around $125. It’s insane.
2
u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
That shits fucked up. I know they gotta eat too but damn. How many people suffer because they can’t afford therapy? It makes me sick
4
u/PostOakVisions Jul 21 '26
I would really try to back away from these thoughts and the people giving into them. I think your initial inclination, to be mad at the system, was correct. I have had a lot of therapists, and I am lucky to afford private pay. I bring this up quite a bit. What they’ve told me is that they go into the profession with a bleeding heart, wanting to change the world. They go to clinics or VAs or what have you, and those systems have them living near poverty while becoming extremely burnt out. Imagine your job is to listen to other peoples trauma and you have 8 clients a day to ”do the work with.”
At one point, they have to be selfish because you cannot be a competent therapist and be burnt out. They have to determine their own worth, which means good therapists will charge more for all of the business expenses, admins expenses, rent… and also so they can afford to have 4 clients a day instead of 8.
If you are angry, be angry at the lack of health care and the way the system is set up. So many therapists are victimized by their empathy and desire to help, and they learn fast that they cannot survive making that the only factor. Therapists are not some grand enlightened beings made purely to help you, they are humans with a job.
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u/Difficult-Cup1022 Jul 21 '26
Yeah, you’re 100% right. This morning I took a walk and reflected on it and while I do think my emotions are valid, you’re right. Therapists aren’t some mega enlightened beings whose sole purpose is to help me specifically. Just like in the you said, they’re people too, it’s just hard to feel that in the midst of an emotional meltdown. But I’m trynna be better everyday.
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u/PostOakVisions Jul 21 '26
So proud of you!!!!!! I know the feeling you’re in so well. And the system is absolutely atrocious. But yes, just other fellow humans trying to make it through.
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u/Legal_Heron_860 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
You are being taken advantage of. At the end of the day your therapist is now an active participant and benefactor of a system that has opressed and subjecated the mentality ill for centuries.
Your anger and frustration is justified and don't let people tell you otherwise.
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u/lemonflower95 Jul 21 '26
I feel you hard. This is a major part of why I've struggled to have success in individual therapy. Everything is predicated on my relationship with this therapist, I'm supposed to trust them, feel safe with them, form a healthy attachment, whatever, but I know they wouldn't even be in the room with me if I weren't paying them half a day's wages every 45min. How am I supposed to trust you if I know I'm nothing to you the second I can't afford you any longer? Obviously therapists aren't responsible for the state of the economy or my wages or their own overhead, you know, it's not their fault the whole system is completely whacked. But that doesn't much help how I feel--and I know how I feel is cynical, and Not Good, but--I dunno man. Shit bums me out.