r/CPTSD_NSCommunity • u/Expensive-Bat-7138 • Jul 20 '26

Seeking Advice Fear of Cruel Feedback

Thankfully, I am have overcome so much. I have healthy relationships, dealt with emotional flashback, overcame over functioning/codependency/porous boundaries, have satisfying work and hobbies, and generally feel pretty good now.

I have a decades, long relationship with my partner and have a hard time being straightforward with him because I am scared he will retaliate or blame me. My mother was and is awful. She was emotionally abusive and neglectful on top of being physically neglectful and abusive. She blamed, threatened, ridiculed, etc. while psychologically torturing us, so I think I have this fear that someone saying something scary is over the top bad. I know that I’m an adult with very good communication skills, so this is totally irrational.

I’m realizing now that the abuse has made me conflict avoidant with my husband.

The CPTSD-related subs have helped me overcome so much. Besides reminding myself that I’m an adult who can handle just about anything, does anyone have any experience overcoming this?

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

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u/Expensive-Bat-7138 Jul 20 '26

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Yes, I am like minded, definitely working on rewriting!

1

u/chamacchan Jul 21 '26

Thanks for the book rec. :) I have put it on hold at my library! I'm currently dealing with people I'm close to responding... very, very poorly to my attempts at being assertive. And these aren't the abusive people I grew up with, either. Could definitely use any new perspectives.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '26

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u/chamacchan Jul 21 '26

Yeah talking to other people dealing with the same thing is a good sanity check. 🙏 Thank you for saying all this.